Would you like to know the sure-fire way to recapture a man’s passion and interest in you and your relationship?
Sure, you could believe that since he seems to no longer appreciate you the way he used to that he’s not worth it and doesn’t get it.
But there’s more to it if you’ve had something special that you’d like to keep growing.
There are 2 things I’ve found to be true for almost every good relationship that’s fallen into a rut-
#1) The deeper ATTRACTION both people used to feel that made them outwardly loving and appreciative of each other has faded
And…
#2) Both partners feel DISCONNECTED, even though they’re still together and going through the motions of their relationship
I can help you in both these areas, if you’re really ready to make a change in your love life.
My best-selling eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him” will show you why a man’s affections and passion often “fizzle” after a short while even though you’re great together, and the easy steps you can take to get the attraction and connection back.
Discover what the secret to a man staying committed for the long-run is, and how to get your relationship back on track.
It’s all here in my eBook:
Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download
Now –
I want to share something I’ve learned with you from years of working with women in long-term relationships.
It’s about how to take your relationship that feels stuck in the mud and either turn it around, or know when to let go.
See, the 2 questions I get most often from women who write me are:
1) “How can I get him back?”
Or…
2) “How can I help save or fix our relationship?”
Instead of doing all the talking myself here, I’m going to show you an email I just got from a woman that will shed some light on the subject.
There are all kinds of lessons to pick out from her experience.
Here’s her story…
>>>Email From A Reader
Christian,
I thank you for OPENING MY EYES. Since I purchased your book, I left the relationship I was in, studied your book, and made some changes to my own life. Now a year and a half later I’m engaged!
Without even putting one bit of work into finding some one, it came and as I always tell my friends, it just slapped me in the face. Thank You.
Without this book, I would have never found the happiness I have within myself, and now within my relationship, and soon marriage.
You are so right. I looked into myself about what was happening and it was rude but I listened. I made the CHOICE not to be in an endless, hard working relationship that actually became just a night call from time to time.
I read chapter 1 and 3 over and over again. You’re right, you can’t blame one person for failure in relationships if you have a pattern. Soon everyone you date is the same person, when in reality, it is you that needs changing if you want to have a different kind of relationship.
I have now found that kind of change and growth.
Thank you Christian.
L.L.
Oxnard, CA
>>>My Response
It’s inspiring to hear about your happiness and growth.
Congratulations on your new and improved life, and thank you for sharing!
You’ve touched on something I find incredible about how life and love works.
It relates directly to my belief on what it takes to turn a troubled relationship around.
Here’s the thing…
And I’m going to get a little deeper than your usual chit-chat here, so pay attention.
Often times we have to be willing to face our fears and LET GO of what we want in order to clear a new path for ourselves.
And by doing this, we open up space to let new things in that couldn’t get in or become clear to us before.
And while this act of opening up feels scary at first…
The new space it creates allows us to start RECEIVING the love that we’ve been missing.
And this is when we can stop searching outside ourselves for the love we want, and recognize all the places where we don’t see or feel love.
I personally believe that there a lot of women out there who could stand to break out of their relationships that they’ve been worrying about and processing over for months or years.
And, ironically, the only way to save or repair some of the relationships out there is to be willing to WALK AWAY in a loving way.
It’s amazing the change and transformation that can happen when we set ourselves free, stop trying to control our lives… and let love take it’s course.
SETTING YOUR “GUIDE” AND FINDING THE LOVE YOU KNOW IS POSSIBLE
Does love come to us and turn into a LASTING and FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP just because we really want to have love?
Or does love and a great relationship require something more from you?
There’s 1 thing that every woman has to keep in her heart and mind as a kind of “guide” for herself in order to both attract the right man, and to create the right kind of healthy and lasting relationship between them.
And that one thing is YOUR OWN VISION of what a GREAT RELATIONSHIP looks like for you.
I’m talking about the kind of relationship that fills you and makes you the most beautiful and inspired woman you can be.
You might think of this as your “highest self” in love.
A simple way to put this is having your own STANDARDS.
Living to your own standards means not just wanting a certain life, but living that life yourself regardless of others. (Men)
Too many women fall into the trap of NOT having their relationship live up to what they want, and instead of observing this and adjusting their life and relationship for the better…
They create more pain in their lives by finding all kinds of ways to keep struggling AGAINST the very things that aren’t working.
Here’s a helpful way to think about these kinds of situations-
When you PUSH on something that doesn’t move, it means that what you are pushing on is moved to RESIST YOU with a force greater than or equal to the force you are pushing with.
This is a law of physics and the world around you.
When you push against a feeling, or a person, or a relationship… guess what happens?
That thing also RESISTS.
This is how we often trap ourselves, and get caught in our own patterns of struggle.
Following your standards in relationships doesn’t mean PUSHING on a man to be different, or convincing him to change.
Following your standards means quietly observing the life and love you are choosing to create and share – and being the one person in charge of making sure you are living the kind of life and relationship you desire.
When you observe your own life with love and compassion for yourself, it becomes clear to you what is right and wrong for you.
And more importantly…
You don’t end up settling for less than you deserve. And you end up TEACHING those closest to you how to love and respect you.
Now, there’s a little trick about having standards for yourself and living up to them.
When you choose to live your life the way you really want it, then there’s a beautiful price you pay in relationships –
If you receive anything less than what you want or expect from a man, you aren’t allowed to fall apart and dwell in what he hasn’t given you.
Going to a place of blame and criticism is not part of your “best” or “higher” self.
When you have chosen to create and live your own life, and you have taken the responsibility for loving another… it is YOUR PLACE to remain that “whole person” you are who doesn’t NEED and DEMAND what you want from a man.
But instead chooses to INSPIRE the kind of love you want to share, and gives love freely when you have chosen to.
I’ll boil it down to a simpler point-
Living a great love life means loving and appreciating ALL THAT IS.
After all, we can’t get to a place of true love and of deep connection unless we are open to seeing the WHOLE PICTURE- both good and bad.
When you recognize a man as someone wonderful, that is part of a living a great love life.
And so is recognizing that a man has shortcomings of HIS OWN, and feeling not anger but COMPASSION for him.
Lots of women become hurt and blame or criticize a man for being less than they want him to be.
Or they take his shortcomings personally, as though they all mean something about THEM.
When a man does hurtful, painful or dishonest things in a relationship with women… a man is saying more about WHO HE IS than the woman he’s with.
When you choose to live your life with love, it’s your role to see your relationship for WHAT IT IS.
Living your standards is accepting what is and coming to terms with whether or not this man and this relationship is really right for YOU.
Living your standards is not dwelling on WHAT ISN’T, and suffering and falling apart because you wish things were different.
I think you’re starting to see where I’m going with all of this.
I talk in detail about how to communicate your standards to the man in your life so that he’ll not only listen… but he’ll start treating you differently in your relationship.
I discuss how to approach the conversation and share what you want with a man in a way that will make him even more interested and attracted on page 246 of my eBook.
When a man is with a woman, if he sees that she doesn’t just want a relationship for the sake of a relationship… then the ways he sees her and treats her will become instantly different.
The strange thing about men is that when a woman is loving AND willing to walk away from a relationship that isn’t good enough for her… men become instantly ENGAGED on an emotional level and want to find a way to be a better partner and make her happy.
But if a man senses from your emotions that you are more attached to the relationship than you are to your own happiness- he’ll often start thinking of your relationship as less valuable to him.
I know this all sounds strange and ridiculous, but it’s the way men think and act.
For more tips on exactly how a man can recognize you as the amazing and valuable woman you are, and how to dial up the passion and love between you through a few simple words…
I’d recommend checking out my eBook and going to page 248 where I describe how to push what I call a man’s “secret communication button”.
Speak his language, and he’ll adore you for it and want nothing more than to shower you with affection and his deepest commitment in love.
It’s all here in my eBook that you can download now and be reading in just a few minutes.
Don’t wait when all this growth and possibility for more love in your life is right in front of you.
Download my eBook now right here:
Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download
WHERE TO START WITH TURNING YOUR RELATIONSHIP AROUND
Alright, let’s get to some specifics.
First things first if you’re looking to turn your relationship around-
Step 1: Break The Cycle
We often have a hard time seeing the situations we are in while we are in them.
When we’re in a relationship that feels stuck, or isn’t working… it’s often impossible to see how we are feeding into the very problems we want to resolve or understand.
The very best thing to do if you feel an unhealthy or negative pattern in your relationship isn’t to TRY HARDER to fix or solve things.
TRYING HARDER is the first and most common mistake that most women make when they sense that something is off in their relationship.
Trying harder only draws you and him deeper into the cycle you’re already experiencing.
You have to stop perpetuating the energy that is coming from what isn’t working.
The more you stay with these feelings, the more you will perpetuate more of the same.
To affect change, you have to be willing to step outside of your own habits and patterns.
A great way to do this is to simply stop arguing, complaining, or trying to make any kind of point about your feelings, or about him.
Do this even just for a day, and go about your life with excitement and interest, and you’ll be amazed at what can transpire while you’re not even trying.
Men LOVE to be with you when you are present and simply living for the moment in your life.
Your stepping away from the energy that has been in your relationship will instantly make things feel lighter.
And you can approach things once you start to see some new and better energy between you.
Step 2: Get “Grounded”
Ground yourself and get yourself to a place of positive well-being.
We all know that we aren’t our best with others when we aren’t feeling great about ourselves, or our relationship.
Do yourself a favor and before you engage in any discussion about your relationship, put yourself in a more grounded and loving place inside.
When you put more love into the things in your life, you almost always get more love in return.
A few simple ways to do this are:
- Take a long hot bath when frustration or anxiety strikes, and put your attention into your SENSES for just that time
- Be active. When our body moves, it also helps move and clear our mind
- Remember to BREATHE. Breathing deeply for just 4 or 5 deep full breaths in and out can instantly fill you back up emotionally and put your heart and mind in a better place
Now, once you’re grounded, you’re in a much better place to think and feel clearly about your relationship, and how to approach talking about it with your man.
Step 3: Consider Your “Approach”
It’s great to share our feelings, and to know how we feel.
When we grow and mature as adults, we take a critical step-
We learn to “own” our emotions, instead of having them own us.
That way, we aren’t just running on auto-pilot letting any feeling or thought that comes to us take over and run the show.
We become more CONSCIOUS, and we can learn to OBSERVE our own thoughts and feelings in the moment as they come up.
This, I would argue, is one of the very most valuable and important skills to have in a relationship.
Why?
Put simply, because it allows us to stay focused and directed at POSITIVE OUTCOMES in our life.
If what you want is to feel CONNECTED to your man, but you allow some of your feelings of sadness to cause you to lash out or CRITICIZE HIM…
Then it’s very unlikely that he’s going to respond positively and CONNECT back with you.
Step 4: When In Doubt, Love What Is
There’s only one way to live a satisfying and fulfilling life.
Or to have a satisfying and fulfilling relationship.
And that’s to love your life, or your relationship, for exactly how it is RIGHT NOW.
Loving what is isn’t something that most of us are used to doing.
Often times in our lives we feel alone and as though if we didn’t try so hard to hold everything together that it would all fall apart.
Not true.
Try it once. Try not holding your world together and feeling like you have to worry or struggle for every outcome.
The amazing thing is… the sun still rises, and the world still goes on without your willing it to do so.
Men in relationships love nothing more than a woman who both is in touch with her feelings…
And who can still go about her life in a loving and open way even when things aren’t exactly the way she wants them to be.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen women become upset with a man for something that the man (naively) didn’t know would hurt her feelings, and she pushed him away out of fear.
Striking out when we feel hurt is a sure way to create more bad feelings and misunderstanding in your relationship.
Yes, men can and should be more understanding in these situations and care for your feelings.
But it doesn’t always work that way.
Wouldn’t you rather know how to actually talk to and share with “the other sex”, and know that you could always get the connection and understanding you really want…
Rather than trying to DEMAND that a man see you and understand your feelings, and hoping that things work out?
If you’d like to take yourself and your relationship out of that UNCERTAIN place where you don’t know if you’ll be able to stay close and connected, then a great place to start is knowing how open, honest and loving COMMUNICATION works inside a relationship.
One challenge too many women have is not having a good man they are close to who they can look to in order to see how a good man really talks and acts in a close relationship.
Lots of women just don’t have a good man as a “model” to work from.
You don’t have to keep guessing. I’ve taken years to put it all together and show you how a man and woman can come together and become close through simple everyday communication.
For all my very best tips on how to help a man understand you and listen better in your relationship…
And to make it so that even a man who’s never really shared his deeper feelings will open up, you need to watch my “Communication Secrets” program.
Make sure that you’re not in the uncertain situation of not even knowing how your man is feeling with the help of my “Communication Secrets” program.
All my very best tips for talking to a man in a relationship that have turned thousands of women’s relationships around are right here:
Communication Secrets For A Secure Relationship
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
P.S. MY eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him” will show you exactly how to get a man to WANT TO OPEN UP and share the feelings he has for you if he never really has before.
Relationships are different at first.
And if you don’t know how to start things off and move towards a more serious relationship with a man… then he might misunderstand the simplest thing like you being affectionate or calling.
For the scoop on how men see “dating”, and why they either RESIST a relationship or can’t help but want a more serious future with a woman… download my eBook here:
Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download
The entire first section of my book is filled with all the things most men won’t want me to tell you about how they think about dating, why they say they don’t want a relationship… and what drives men wild with desire for a lasting romance.
Do yourself a favor and know once and for all why a man will shy away from commitment with one woman, and then be begging the next woman he meets for more. It’s all here:
Hi, could you please mail me the complete E-Book of relationship-turnaround