I’ve gotten literally thousands of questions about my most popular program, “Natural & Lasting Attraction”, and I wanted to share one of the most common questions with you, and answer it personally.
The question is…
“Is there NEW material in your “Natural & Lasting Attraction” program, or does it just explain more about what I already read and learned about in your ebook?”
The short answer is, this is ALL NEW MATERIAL.
I spent the better part of a year putting this program together from scratch, and focusing intensely on how to make sure the material and exercises in it would bring instant benefits to any woman experiencing real life challenges with men, dating, and relationships.
Then I presented the program to a live audience of real women who probably share a lot of the same fears, frustrations, and desires that you do.
Honestly, the response to the program was AMAZING.
Plus, it just felt great to see the learning, change, awareness, and growth each woman there found with my help and guidance.
Oh, which reminds me of something else you might be interested in…
I took live questions from REAL WOMEN about REAL DATING and RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, and addressed them specifically in this program.
Believe it or not, lots of women share the same challenges and experiences with men.
(Aren’t we guys so predictable at times!?)
Well, several of the big, common, limiting and frustrating situations came up during the course of this program as direct questions from women.
You’ll be happy to know that the women at the live program did NOT let me off the hook when it came to the tough, real world situations and the specific “How-Tos” of dealing with them.
They demanded real, clear, actionable answers.
Of course, I don’t expect you to take my word for all the great stuff that’s in my program…
Right now you can go hear for yourself EXACTLY what these women had to say about my program by watching them talk about it online.
Just go to the link below to check out these REAL LIVE INTERVIEWS in the videos that are located further down the page.
These will give you a clear picture of the ACTUAL EXPERIENCES other women had working with the materials and exercises in the program.
And remember, the women sharing were all women who had already read my ebook, and then got NEW SKILLS and even DEEPER LEVELS of UNDERSTANDING by attending the live version of this program.
All of which is available to you to experience at your own pace, from the comfort of your own home.
As you might guess from the name, I created this program to explain all the things ANY WOMAN can start doing, quickly and easily, that will create real, lasting and “long-term” attraction with a man.
Go here to check out the video samples of my new program right now:
Now let me ask you an important question…
Have you ever wondered why some women seem to have it so easy in their relationships with men?
And how some couples can make it work so well and stay emotionally connected, close and loving after years and years of being together?
…while you find it tough after a few short weeks, months or years?
Well, I’ve figured out that it’s not that the women in these strong relationships are somehow “different” than other women…
Or that the men they’re with are any different either.
It’s that these women have a specific set of “relationship skills”.
And it’s these skills that mean the difference between creating a lasting relationship… or living in one that’s both frustrating and destined for failure.
My “Natural & Lasting Attraction” program will teach you EXACTLY what a woman can do to identify and ATTRACT the right man, in the right way…
(because the most critical time to set the tone for the future is right from the start)
If you’re in a relationship with a man, this program will show you, step by step, how to get a man to OPEN HIMSELF UP emotionally… so that he’ll FEEL and share that deep, strong, and lasting CONNECTION with you.
Which is a HUGE part of why a man chooses and stays with a woman in a close, committed relationship.
Of course, the alternative to NOT LEARNING these critical “relationship skills” is being a woman who has to keep struggling with the same disappointments with men in relationships over and over.
And wasting your precious time and energy in a relationship with a man who’s NEVER going to FEEL much of a deep emotional connection with you…
And he’ll NEVER FEEL that “gut-level” reason in his heart that lets him KNOW that YOU are the one.
In other words… a man will often keep withdrawing and become more and more distant if he ISN’T feeling this “natural and lasting
attraction” on an emotional level with a woman.
And when a man doesn’t FEEL these things, it doesn’t matter how good of a person a woman is, or how hard she tries, or even how beautiful she is…
NOTHING can “fix” a man or a relationship, when a man doesn’t FEEL these things with a woman.
I’ll share a secret with you that I’ve learned…
There’s a reason why a man chooses one woman and not another.
There’s a reason why men will say they’re “just not ready for a serious relationship”, even when things are great with the woman they’re with.
And there’s a reason why a man will date one woman, tell her he’s not ready for a commitment, and then settle down with the very next woman he meets.
(I know, men can be frustrating and make no sense at all, right!?)
It’s time to live the love life you deserve.
Don’t stay stuck in that relationship “rut”.
Go here right now to check out video samples from my new program, and get on my special offer to check the program out for free:
And I’ll talk to you again soon!
P.S. And if you STILL haven’t read my “Catch Him & Keep Him” ebook, you’re missing out on learning the basics to understanding how men think and why they act the way they do with women – whether it’s on the first date, or after years of a steady relationship. Make this year YOUR YEAR, by giving yourself the best chance for finding and keeping real, lasting love (and you can check it out FREE for 7 days):
I have seen advertisements for your books many times, but have not bought any one of them yet. This is because your advertisements are very wordy, and you have to wade through a lot of persuasion before you get to the point. I find it infuriating. I wondered if your books are written in the same style? As a very busy lady, I would prefer a book which told me what I need to know in a concise to the point way.
This is what has put me off buying your books.
Are your books written in the same style?
Nice use of persuasive language, I should analyse this for my English class, we are doing an assignment on excessive use of persuasive language by advertisements, in particular, by shoddy or suspicious advertisements, and how they are targeted, which appears to be at those experiencing a problem. This appears to be done to take advantage of the poor souls. Which I find rather disturbing.
GTFO my RSS feed.
Yeah I have bought the book but I still cannot even find the anwser its all muddled up and I dont know if your intent is teasing us us fustratuing us but it did’nt do much for me. I hate men more than I ever did. Just dated a man who in the end just plain out disrespected me. This was not your fault I know it was mine I slept with him and after that it was over and the more I tried to save the relationship the more it became friends with benefits –benefits for him persay I am so destroyed to a point where I dont even want to look at another man again or be touched or talked to in any sexual way EVER in my Life!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MEN –MEN ARE DEVILS!!!!
All I know is that the only purpose any man tries to talk to me is because he wants to f**^ me and thats all there is nothing else on their minds. Its happened to me all my life all the time I begin to trust and get comfortable and Oh man the lies they tell—I’m tired of being alone I also want a sole mate etc the best one yet is Trust me. Women if you ever hear any man say Trust me –run as far as you can they dont know the meaning of the word. Men are Assholes.
Sexy Girl says
WOW! Interesting comments some women have left on here. Men want sex….. Duh! Who doesn’t? But what Christian is saying is that deep down almost all men want a woman who is not just a great lay, but someone who is also his best friend who understands him. If you girls, do not understand men, don’t blame them for not treating you the way you want to be treated.
Julie James says
Here’s the real skinny on men, it’s really quite simple:
Toy or Treasure
When a woman begins to relate to a man, her most important decision is whether she wants to be his treasure or to be his toy. This determines whether he plays with her or stays with her.
Watch how a little boy plays with a toy truck – he rolls it this way and that, he focuses all his attention on it until he gets tired of the truck. Then he dumps it and runs off to play with some other toy. Sometimes he’ll hit the truck or throw it against the wall when he’s tired of it.
A boy may choose a favorite toy which becomes his treasure. A boy never hurts his treasure, he takes good care of it, and his treasure gets huge amounts of attention.
Grandmothers say, “The difference between men and boys is the size of their toys.” When a boy plays with a girl, she may get attention for a while, but it seldom ends well. We see letters in newspapers and blogs, “Why doesn’t he call me any more?” It’s simple – he got tired of playing with you and moved on to another toy; at least he didn’t throw you against the wall. The solution is not to wish that men were different, the solution is to position yourself so that you become a man’s treasure instead of being his toy.
Toy or Treasure, It’s Up To You
Our whole society teaches girls to act like toys and teaches boys to play with a girl instead of staying with her. Magazine ads and TV shout that the only thing that matters about a girl is what men think of her looks, but when a girl dresses in “marketing mode,” she labels herself “toy.” Men are extremely possessive – if a girl shows too much of herself for every man to see, she can’t be any man’s unique, precious treasure.
An even better way to be a man’s toy instead of his treasure is to have sex with him. Men are as emotional as women in that if a man loves a woman and cares about her, it hurts him just as much for her to betray him or dump him as it hurts a woman when a man dumps or betrays her. Most men try not to let their emotions get tangled up with women, the down-side is too painful.
A man’s emotions become bound to a woman as he opens his heart to her just as a woman’s emotions become bound to a man by opening her body to him. If she has sex before he marries her, he’ll shut down further emotional involvement because he can’t trust her. She had sex with him without marriage, how can he trust her not to have sex with someone else? Sex without marriage puts a woman firmly in the “toy” category. Men play with toys, they marry treasures.
A woman sets her value by what she does. If a man can have her for the price of a few dinner dates, she isn’t worth much. If, on the other hand, she insists that he marry her and become hers before he takes her, she’s much more valuable. She kept him off until he married her; he can trust her to keep other men off, too.
Having Sex Versus Making Love
A man’s most important characteristic from a woman’s point of view is that he value her as a person. Getting a man’s emotions involved with her takes time. Women would much rather make love than have sex, but the difference between having sex and making love lies in the man’s heart and mind. If she lets him have her before he’s let his emotions become bound to her, they have sex. Even if he marries her, he’ll seldom let his emotions become really involved with her because she became a toy. She has to make him wait until he’s opened his heart to her. If she makes him wait until he knows her well enough as a person to know she could be his treasure and then makes him wait even longer until he proves she’s his treasure by marrying her, they make love each time they come together.
If a man doesn’t love a woman, having sex with her won’t make him love her and usually ensures that he won’t let himself love her. If he loves and treasures her, on the other hand, making love makes him love her more, particularly if she encourages him to take her and thanks him afterward.
Good and Bad, Toy and Treasure
There was a day when most girls agreed that no girl would have sex with a man unless he married her first. Men wanted sex so they got married.
There were bad girls, of course, but even though men are pretty clueless about women, any man could tell the difference – if a girl would have sex without marriage, she was a bad girl whom he shouldn’t marry, if she wouldn’t, she was a good girl and it was OK to marry her.
Now that most girls act like bad girls, how does a man know whom to marry? A man has no way of knowing; it’s safer not to marry at all.
Teaching Him To Treasure You
I’ve talked to lots of girls, not one wants to be a man’s toy. A woman almost always wants a man to stay with her, she doesn’t want him to play with her, she wants to get married.
The usual method of finding a husband is to start dating a boy and hope he decides she’s a treasure. If you look at your friends’ relationships with men, you’ll see that this method doesn’t work very well. It also makes a man think you’ve lied to him, “We were having such a good time until she started talking marriage,” I’ve heard men wail.
“Don’t be silly,” I tell them, “you know perfectly well that women want to get married, that’s why you lie to them and pretend that there’s a relationship.”
“Yeah, but if she wants to get married, she shouldn’t tell me she doesn’t want to get married.”
Suppose a girl decides she wants to be a man’s treasure so that he’ll treat her as his treasure. How does she become a man’s treasure instead of his toy?
The solution is as simple and as difficult as staying off drugs, “Just say NO!” Don’t play hard to get, be hard to get.
The difficulty is that most men are so used to treating women as toys that it won’t occur to a man that you’re anything but a toy. Since he won’t think of it, you’ll have to tell him you’re a treasure before the first date.
When a man asks you out, say something like,
“Before you spend any money on me, I want you to know that I want to get married. I’m looking for a husband; I’m not just looking for a good time. I’m not saying you have to agree to marry me before we go out at all, but I want you to agree that the purpose of being together is to decide whether you and I should get married.”
In today’s “hookup” culture, that’ll boggle his mind. You’ll have to explain:
“I want to be a treasure for some man. I want to be such a treasure for my husband that he’ll value me so much that he likes being with me and enjoys talking to me. If you’re not that man, we can part friends, but I’m not a toy. I want a man to stay with me; I don’t want a man to play with me. You’re a nice guy; I could easily fall in love with you. If I find myself loving you and you won’t marry me, I’ll be hurt.
The marriage vows say, ‘to have and to hold.’ I expect my husband to have me, but I don’t want a man to just take me. Being your treasure means I want to give myself to you whenever you want me because giving myself to you makes you happy with me. You’ll want to make love five times before breakfast and start in again when you get home from work. That’s a bit much from my point of view, but that’s what men think ‘to have and to hold’ means.
But if I’m yours, I expect you to be mine. I want to have my husband, but men don’t like being taken any more than women do. Being mine means that you want to open your heart to me because giving yourself to me makes me happy with you. I want you to open your heart to me five times before breakfast and talk more when you get back from work. I want to know what you’re doing. I want to know your feelings, I want to know what’s on your heart. When you talk to people I know, I want to know what everybody said, what they were all wearing, and how everybody felt about what was said. Opening your heart to me bores and humbles you just as opening my body to you bores and humbles me. My emotions are made so that it’s hard for me to be yours if you aren’t mine. Opening my body to you makes me yours; opening your heart to me makes you mine. That’s how we float each other’s boats.
If you belong to me while treating me as your very own special treasure, I’ll be glad to be yours. If I enjoy giving myself to you and being yours, you’ll be glad to belong to me. Being glad to belong to each other will bring us great joy all our days. But if you aren’t willing to at least consider marriage, please don’t waste my time.”
It’s hard for a man to understand a woman’s need for a deep, open relationship. If a man is willing to listen to a woman’s explanation of her needs long enough to begin to grasp what she’s talking about, he’s a decent prospect.
I know a few women who’ve said that up front and it worked. When their husbands tell the story, most other men agree that they’d be interested in a woman who wanted to be a treasure for her husband. A treasure they’d marry; why marry a used toy? If a man won’t even consider marrying a woman who tells him very nicely that she plans to be a treasure for her husband, why date him at all? But if he decides a) she is a treasure and b) she’s his treasure and c) he wants her enough to marry her, she’s worth his life. It then becomes her heart for his heart, her mind for his mind, and her life for his life. When it’s balanced in that way, they can enjoy each other for years on end.
I’m a guy and I agree with most of what’s said here, if spoken in generalities. Most of us are twats to say the least, however I know there are at least some guys out there that don’t use their downstairs region to do all the thinking.
Don’t let the common generalised male destroy your outlook on life.
Interesting debate,as a man I have to say that you have to be brave to give a woman your heart.Often some women are so damaged emotionally by their previous men that they are out for revenge on any man to hand.Knowing this makes men weary of getting involved emotionally as they seldom know how much bad kama they may have to work through with that woman to make it possible for her to believe that he wants her for the right reasons.
My wife and I are frequently complemented by friends.
They admire the relationship and family we have built over 19 years. We are fit, happy and romantically in love. It isn’t luck. People can do this.
It takes Spirituality, Love and Maturity. If you nurture your Spirit and become fun, loving and attractive from the inside out, you become incredibly popular with others including your mate.
You also become content with your own company and not “needy”. You won’t be “played” because you aren’t the softy you were inside, you’ll come from strength for a change.
In a nutshell, you have tried outer things. You have bought the outfits, the cars, the hair style, the teeth whitening, but you don’t have (credit to Allan Bloom here) a “beautiful soul”.
Most people today cannot define a beautiful soul, but beautiful souls are sexy, powerful and attractive, even in denim cutoffs and without makeup.
Wow, I would have to agree with Julie. I would say that she hit it right on.
I loved what Julie wrote. Thank you!
And about Christian Carter: I agree with everyone that his stuff is wordy. He doesn’t use paragraphs. It infuriated me to read it, too. But I’ve been listening to his CDs for a while now. At first I was put off, because some of the women that he interviewed were so Valley Girl. But I have to say that I’ve learned a GREAT DEAL in the last two years. I listen to the CDs in my car, then I read the books that are suggested, and I go go the websites of the people he interviews, and I read their books, too, and listen to their CDs.
I will get out there soon and find my treasure of a man, and I will feel like I’m prepared. Thank you, Christian.
I just wanted to post to thank Julie and the man who wrote about his wife’s beautiful soul – yes love, maturity, and spirituality sound like the basis of a very strong, loving, and nurtuting foundation. I happen to love Christian Carter – though sometimes when I listen to his cds I get turned off because he can come across as condescending to women who don’t “get it” – hey, who knows maybe that’s my stuff and not his – but he has some great points and some really amazing guests whom he interviews (Arielle Ford, Dr. Paul, Dr. Amir, and Marie Forleo were some of my faves – the kinds of meesages that you lsiten to that change your life). Julie, I kind of thought that to tell a man all of that before you even have your first date might be overkill, but if your friends have experienced success, maybe it’s something to consider. I definitely agree about setting the tone from the beginning (beginning with the end in mind) and I absolutely loved your question – toy or treasure? Regardless of what steps are taken exactly, it would be a good idea for women (and men who are looking to be treasured) to let these questions guide them to get to where they want to get. I would love to wait until marriage to have sex in theory – everything Julie said made such perfect sense! However I do not want to be married to man with whom I am not sexually compatible so I will tweak that for myself and save that act of intimacy – not for marriage but definitely not before I am being treated the way I want to be treated on a consistent basis and when I feel like he not only is making the effort to get to know me, but actually does and vice versa. I think most of the relationship books have a point (the rules get such a bad rap!! some ppl need those bc they just give themselves away at the drop of a dime!) but the bottom line is not to follow anyone’s rules. Use the info out there as a guideline and start making yur own rules and most importanly listen to you heart! I have been reading emails from Rori Raye and she has really led me on a path of emotional honesty that I can’t thank her enough for. Thanks everyone for sharing and I wish you all the best in love & life! To the women who posted their negative feelings about men …I know it is frustrating. To put your hearts out there time and again only to be lied to and not cherished. It’s enough to make you turn gay (Or hetero, whichever the case may be)! Lol. Just trust in the abundance of the universe and use this time to try to give yourself whatever it is you want from a man. For me it was nurturing. I am so nurturing and I wanted someone to nurture me for a change! Long story short, I learned to nurture myself. I take leisurely baths with special salts and light candles..go to the spa, work out at the gym- whatever makes me feel taken care of – and u know what? Eventually you won’t need so much from another person bc you will be giving it to urself. Of course you’ll still have needs from your relstionships but they won’t be so overwhelming for the other person or unhealthy for u. It’s easy to turn to hate and blame but that won’t change the problem. The hardest thing for me was to see failed relationships as a blessing. With each failed date or relationship you truly do have the opportunity to see where the holes are inside and to patch them up – it can be from ‘why do I continue to choose the wrong guy’ or ‘why do i jump in emotionally before I have tested this guy’s character?’ or ‘What am I doing to contribute to things not working out?’ This is about you and your life! not some relationship. Trust me (I know, lol), but seriously – once you start to answer these questions for yourself and that lightbulb clicks for you, you will attract the right kind of energy into your life. Just ask the universe to open your heart and be ready for it … it’s amazing what you get when you ask for it! I am so sorry for the book!! Hopefully someone got something out of it though. And now I mean it – take care everyone and thanks for sharing! I appreciate it :)
As a 60 year old widow who thought she would never love again after 36 years of marriage, I am amazed to realize that there are some good men out there and I had three of them pursuing me. I recently made the choice to spend the rest of my life with one very special man. I think what the really good, single men my age are looking for is a good friend, an attractive, sexual woman, honesty, humour, and someone who is not desperate. It is a smart thing to get a little close with a special man and then back off. Real men like the chase and it is better for a woman’s self esteem to have him chase you. That way he knows you are a woman with value and not a desperate person who makes the moves all the time. If he does not chase you, then just move on and do not humiliate yourself.
I have not read this book so I cannot comment.
So basically the longer I make a guy wait to have sex, the more of a chance I will have keeping him? And why is it that guys will look at you but won’t approach you, then if you approach them you seem desperate? I’ve dated a few guys who told me that If I hadn’t approached them, then they would not have came up to me because they were intimidated or shy. I get told I’m really pretty a lot, but yet I’ve been sinlge for 2 years. Guys all go running in the opposite direction. I know what I want out of life and I’m going for it, and I’m not easy. so, what’s the deal?
Is there anyone who had read the books and also UNDERSTANDS the points being made? If there is anyone out there who falls into that category and would enjoy making an outline or rather, wouldnt mind putting it in plain(non-persuasive) writing, that is exactly what I need! I have read many of the free articles. I feel like I just never get to the point. I’ve even tried outlining it myself! I do not have the money for the books, but the promises he makes are SO APPEALING. I had my heart shattered last year and what I was reading in those articles about what women do wrong sounded like he was describing me. How one day everything was just different. Every time I date someone since last year, it seems I sabotage the whole thing all over again. I’m reaching a point of desperation and although my gut is telling me that these books are not going to “fix” me, I am just looking for some type of guidance. I was posting this in hopes that maybe some reader has some advice or enjoys giving advice to someone like me or sharing what they have learned. Please contact me via email at [email protected] Thanks and good luck to all of you!