Our topic this week is one that I’ve found women to most often UNDERESTIMATE while dating or being in a relationship.
And it has EVERYTHING to do with why a man will choose to STAY or WITHDRAW in a relationship.
See… some women naturally understand what this “thing” is that I’m talking about and never come across some of the other common problems that other women run into again and again with men and relationships.
They have an actual SKILL that they use intuitively, which causes the men they’re with to actually CHASE THEM and LEAD THEM into a committed and loving relationship.
Isn’t that how it’s “supposed” to be anyhow?
It is, IF you know how to trigger specific emotions and responses inside a man.
I’ve also found that there is a whole other group of women out there…
I’m talking about the women who DON’T get this important thing about men, and don’t “naturally” possess the ability or skill that keeps a man feeling close, attracted and connected.
At least not in a way that’s so powerful that it lasts more than a few days or weeks and has the guy thinking:
“Maybe this is the one!?”
In fact, women who don’t “get it” often find themselves trying to CONVINCE a man of all kinds of “basic” things that he SHOULD FEEL with a woman he’s with.
These usually include:
- Convincing a man that he should open up and share his feelings for her
- Convincing a man that he should share his personal thoughts and feelings, so they can be close and intimate
- Convincing a man to be loyal and monogamous
- Convincing a man to do things to show that he cares and thinks about her
- Convincing a man that he should have an interest in HER life and HER friends and family
- Convincing a man that he should want to be with her, and only her
- Convincing a man that a commitment and a long term relationship is what he wants with her
So let me ask you a very simple question…
Which situation sounds better to you-
A) Being a woman who “gets” certain things about a man that, in turn, gives you the ability to understand what a man is doing and why… and for you to be the kind of woman in a relationship that will make a man KNOW, with his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, that he wants to be close and connected with you, and only you.
B) Being a woman who just doesn’t understand where a man is coming from and why everything has to be so difficult… and sensing that a man isn’t “there with you”… and not having a man who “feels it” for you on an intense-passionate- gut- reaction-emotional-gotta-be-with-her-or-else kind of level.
Which situation sounds better to you?
And which has a higher potential for “success” when it comes to a real, loving, and lasting relationship?
Obviously, the first one.
But which situation can you honestly identify with more?
Unfortunately, if you’re like lots of women I’ve talked to about men, dating and relationships, then you identify more with the second situation.
Well, guess what?
I’ve got GOOD NEWS for you…
That’s right, I said GOOD NEWS.
This “skill” that I’m talking about here, which often means the difference between a woman experiencing more of the first situation above, instead of the second, is NOT something a woman has to be born with or else will never have.
The truth is, as difficult as it might be to believe right now, ANY WOMAN can learn these skills.
And any woman can quickly begin improving her dating life, or her relationship with that one special man.
And how do I know this?
Because I’ve helped literally thousands of women do exactly this – transform their love life from a difficult and painful uphill struggle to an often effortless journey filled with more love and fulfillment than they ever had before.
Regardless of where they were at to begin with.
THE POWER OF ATTRACTION, AND HOW IT WORKS FOR MEN
Ok, so enough of the teasing, right?
What in the world is this “skill” and ability that some women naturally have, and others don’t, that I’ve been talking about here?
What I’m talking about here is ATTRACTION.
Before you read further, I’d like you to take a minute and think about what the word ATTRACTION means to you.
By the way, I’m talking about the FEELING of attraction here and what creates or destroys it.
See if you can WRITE DOWN exactly what you think the word ATTRACTION means. (The process of writing down your thoughts helps you to organize them, and I also recommend that you keep a journal of your experiences as you improve in each area of your life).
There are no right or wrong answers here, so think about it for a few minutes…
And ACTUALLY WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN.
OK, did you do that? Good.
So what did you come up with?
A lot of women seem to think that ATTRACTION is when one person wants what another person has.
Some think of ATTRACTION as the result of being good-looking or otherwise “attractive”. In fact, I think a LOT of people confuse ATTRACTION with “being attractive”.
When I think of the concept of ATTRACTION, I think of it primarily as an EMOTION.
In other words, ATTRACTION IS A FEELING that we either feel, or we don’t.
And there’s not much of anything at all in between when it comes to a man being at a place where he’s ready to be open, loving and COMMITTED with a woman… long term.
It seems to me that attraction is actually more of a COMBINATION of powerful experiences and beliefs that come together to form a very, very special and all powerful SUPER-EMOTION.
However you think about it, there is a process that happens between men and women that keeps them connecting – to get together both physically and emotionally in relationships.
In fact, think about this…
You are reading this right now, which is a miracle.
Think of the thousands upon thousands of generations of ancestors that you have had… and think about the fact that EACH ONE WAS ABLE TO FIND A PARTNER TO MATE WITH.
And not one of them died in childhood.
And then think about the fact that you were the sole winner in a race of five hundred MILLION or so sperm trying to get to the egg and burrow inside.
You are the result of, and represent, probably the most amazing, delicate and rare process ever.
One of the parts of this process that fascinates me is how each pair of your ancestors decided to get together with THAT PARTICULAR PERSON at THAT PARTICULAR TIME.
Your ancestors chose each other over other potential mates or partners for specific reasons, qualities and characteristics.
Most of which have been passed to you.
Now, I know that some women might be upset that I’m talking about this whole concept in such an analytical and detached way…
If you’re one of those women, stop reading now!
The point here is that there is a LOT to learn from the underlying “biological processes” that have ultimately resulted in you being here right now.
After working, studying and observing things in this area for several years, and listening and working with women, it finally dawned on me that ATTRACTION WAS BASICALLY EVERYTHING.
If a man feels ATTRACTION for a woman, on a deep emotional level BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then nothing else really matters.
Not looks, age, nationality, wealth, religion, etc.
Not peer pressure from friends and family.
Not even where a man is in his own life, which he often uses as an excuse – such as where his career is, his personal income, that he needs his freedom, he’s too young, he needs to “have his fun” before he settles down… all that stuff.
None of it matters!
On the other hand, if a man DOESN’T feel ATTRACTION for a woman, then nothing else matters in that case either!
You can’t “talk” a man into feeling ATTRACTION any more than you can “talk” a person who hasn’t eaten for three days out of feeling hungry.
If you want to learn more about this RIGHT NOW and “fast-forward” your skills and your understanding of men in dating situations and relationships – then go here right now and read all these amazing insights I’ve got for you:
Unfortunately, some women try all the things they can think of that would work FOR THEM, and try and make a man feel a certain way about them inside.
Think back to the “convincing behaviors” I listed earlier…
This is about as likely to work as trying to “hypnotize” a man and programming his mind to fall in love with you.
Well… maybe I shouldn’t have given you that idea… lol
I can see it now – there will be hundreds of women out there swinging time pieces in front of their emotionally unavailable men trying to put them into a “suggestive state”.
Ok, enough kidding around…
What I’m trying to say is that one day it hit me like a ton of bricks that ATTRACTION IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.
If you don’t know what it is or how to create it, you’ll wander around trying different strategies (most of them based on what you think would work for YOU) and probably never land on something that works consistently.
Once I realized this “truth”, all kinds of things that didn’t make sense before INSTANTLY made sense to me.
All of a sudden I realized why women dated egotistical selfish jerks… ATTRACTION.
All of a sudden I realized why men dated neurotic and “bitchy” women… ATTRACTION.
And I also saw the FLIP SIDE!
I realized why men pass up women who are honest, stable, attractive, and wonderful.
And instead, went for women who had much, much less to offer… ALL because of ATTRACTION.
Think of ATTRACTION like a drug (which it really is). If a man is under the influence of it, then he’s gone. He’ll do anything to get more.
If he’s NOT under the influence, then YOU’RE gone. Nothing you do will matter if he doesn’t feel it.
If you doubt what I’m saying, ask the next 10 SUPER HOT men you see what they think of this. Read this newsletter to them, and watch their reactions. You’ll see.
OK, now that you’ve heard a little bit more of my personal perspective, I’d like you to look back into your life and think about all those situations with men that made no sense at all…
Think about the men that you treated wonderfully that passed you up and went on to the “bitchy” woman… and think about all the male “friends” you’ve had… the ones who told you they wanted a “nice girl”… but kept dating the same kind of neurotic “bad girl” who didn’t have her life together AT ALL.
Is it all making sense now?
THEY DIDN’T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU!
YOU WERE BEING THE “SUPER-FRIEND”, AND YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS HAVING THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT OF WHAT YOU WANTED! AND WORSE YET, THERE WASN’T A DAMN THING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT!
It’s harsh to think about, but it’s true. (By the way, if you don’t do something to learn how to make men feel ATTRACTION, and not just physical attraction which won’t last, then most likely, this is going to keep happening to you for the rest of your life.)
I have to point out one more thing. As I mentioned earlier, I think a lot of women confuse the idea of being “attractive” with the emotion called ATTRACTION.
You can make a man feel an INCREDIBLE ATTRACTION, even though you’re not what most people would think of as “attractive”.
But, of course, you have to know HOW…
The point is, that if you’re not perfectly thin, “done-up” and “flawless” (and… who is!?), you can LEARN how to make men feel this wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION.
It’s a skill. It’s taken me YEARS to be able to even talk about this stuff in simple terms like this to make sense, and it’s taken me the same time to figure out how a REAL woman, without giving herself away and wasting way too much of her time and energy, can make a man who hasn’t seemed “ready” or “emotionally available”, feel ATTRACTION in a way that will lead to a deep and lasting connection.
How, you ask, can this happen?
Well, you’ve read about avoiding the common and destructive behavior of trying to CONVINCE a man to feel any of these things “logically”.
That’s a part of it.
That’s a small part of what NOT to do.
But there are several other pieces of the puzzle, from voice tone and body language, to secrets of powerful and “opening” communication, to specific ways to respond and “challenge” a man to get him physically and emotionally engaged, and everything in between.
It’s a system, and it all works together.
There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be successful with men, dating and relationships:
1) The “Inner Stuff”
2) The “Outer Stuff”
The “Inner Stuff” is all about learning how to THINK and how to manage your thoughts, intentions, emotions and energy.
It’s also about understanding how and why attractive men feel that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some women, and not others.
The “Outer Stuff” is all of the how-to’s: what to say, when, how and why.
Which is more important?
Well, they’re BOTH important.
But what I notice is that most women just want this whole “problem” of finding a great man and arriving in a close, secure, loving, lasting relationship, to go away.
They want to “arrive” into an unflinching love where each person truly understands the other on a deep, deep level.
But the strange part is that they want to learn the “Outer Stuff” first because they believe that it’s just a matter of saying the right things so that there’s love and understanding.
In other words, they want the female versions of “pick-up” lines.
Except, the end goal isn’t sex – like it often is for men with pick-up lines.
It’s often wanting more of a deep, loving, lasting commitment built over-night.
Which leads us to the “Inner Stuff”.
The REASON that the “Inner Stuff” is so important, is that attractive men don’t judge you on what you can say about true love and how much you really want it in your life.
And just because a man talks to you, gets your phone number or email address, or takes you out on a date DOES NOT mean that he FEELS anything deep inside.
And here’s where I draw an IMPORTANT distinction for you.
There are 2 types of ATTRACTION a man can feel.
And for a man to become “serious” about a woman, he HAS to feel BOTH.
Men don’t DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a woman.
ATTRACTION is something that happens on its own, for its own reasons.
Sure, it’s relatively easy, in the grand scheme of things, for a man to feel “PHYSICAL ATTRACTION”.
But having a man feel what I call “INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION”, is a whole different story.
Remember when I mentioned earlier that there’s a reason why a man will commit himself emotionally to one woman, and not another?
This “other” kind of attraction is a BIG part of what’s going on here.
The way to cause a man to feel ATTRACTION for you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and then communicate in a way that makes it happen.
In a way that actually triggers the FEELING of ATTRACTION inside of a man on a deep emotional level.
In my ebook, I spend several full sections teaching the “Inner Stuff”… all those things that help you get the INSIDE together, so you will naturally pull the OUTSIDE (behavior and direct communication) together.
Of course, I also pack in tons of specifics about the “Outer Stuff” that men respond best to and that REALLY WORKS.
This stuff is CRITICAL to the quality of your future love life and relationships.
I wouldn’t have taken all the time, effort, and energy to put this together unless I thought it was important.
If you want to overcome your challenges and really take your love life to the next level, then you owe it to yourself to check this out.
Go here now:
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.