I’m going to throw out a few situations that come up with men that you might be wondering how to handle.
Then I’m going to show you what to do in these situations.
Let’s get started…
Here are some of the most common questions, statements, and scenarios that women I’ve talked to and helped in my seminars and programs talk about…
See if you identify with any of these:
- “I don’t have a problem meeting men, but I seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?”
- “I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t feel like getting back out there and dating again. How do I get myself to a place where I can open up to a man again and go about this?”
- “I’d love to be with a great guy and enjoy a close and loving relationship… but there don’t seem to be any good single guys around. Where can I meet a genuinely good guy?”
- “The moment I finally do see or meet a great guy, I get nervous and uncertain and I don’t really know what to do or say to get his attention and interest. What should I do, and how do I know if a guy is interested?”
- “I’ve heard that other women have met their boyfriends or husbands online, but online dating is not for me.” Or… “I tried online dating and it didn’t work for me.”
Let’s get right to the first scenario and the question that goes along with it-
Scenario #1:
“I don’t have a problem meeting men, but I seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?”
If I had a nickel for every time a woman shared this experience with me… then I’d be VERY well off.
The fascinating part is that almost every woman who shares this experience seems to believe she’s one of the only “unlucky” women around who has this problem.
Meanwhile… TONS of other women have this exact same problem of dating all the “wrong men.”
What’s going on here?
Let’s break the situation down and take a closer look.
I’ll start from the very beginning…
You meet a guy, you feel a strong level of chemistry and connection for him, and you get involved with him.
Then comes your first mistake-
Only AFTER THE FACT, once you’ve already become sexual and intimate with him, do you start to find out who he REALLY IS and what he REALLY WANTS-
He wants his “freedom.”
Or…
He’s not looking for a “serious relationship” right now.
Or…
“It’s not you, it’s him. He’s just not ready.”
Of course, hearing this AFTER you’ve already spent time with a man, become intimate, and grown more and more ATTACHED to him is a total WHACK upside the head for you.
I’m betting at least one of these reasons a man can give for NOT wanting to be with you sounds strangely familiar.
If you’ve had this happen to you with a man, and perhaps had it happen more than once… the question is how come this kind of thing is so common with men?
How come a man will PULL AWAY even when you really hit it off and there’s a great relationship right in front of you both?
And why do so many men so often use these same “excuses”?
Is it because men really and truly are AFRAID OF RELATIONSHIPS?
Or is there something else going on?
Something a little deeper than a man suddenly pulling away out of fear, or for no good reason at all.
I’m going to suggest to you that there is in fact something else going on at a deeper level.
The best place to start is to address the idea or belief that way too many men are afraid of relationships.
I have a very different perspective on this than you might have heard before.
I DON’T believe that men are afraid of real relationships.
Not at all.
I believe that men simply don’t care much about relationships until they feel and experience that intense flood of EMOTIONS that takes over their body and mind.
And that flood of feelings and emotions that takes over a man’s thoughts and desires, and is capable of literally causing a man to do a complete 180 degree turn away from his prior wants and beliefs, is commonly referred to as ATTRACTION.
Of course, when I’m talking about this kind of powerful and transformative force… I’m not just talking about your run of the mill “Physical Attraction.”
A man can experience that 3 times a day simply by laying eyes on a woman.
This kind of Physical Attraction has very little to do with WHY a man will want a REAL RELATIONSHIP with a woman (although it is also a necessary component).
In other words, there’s something else a man must experience with a woman that goes DEEPER than just that PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.
And if you don’t know what this other thing is, how it works, and how to create it inside a man once you’re getting to know each other and “dating”… then it’s going to be VERY DIFFICULT for a close, loving, and lasting relationship to come together.
To put it bluntly, without this “other level of attraction”… a man just isn’t going to feel it for you in a way that will have him pursuing you for more and wanting to get even closer to you.
Instead, he’ll simply be satisfied with spending time here and there with you on a “casual” basis… and he won’t have much interest or desire to get much closer to you in love and a relationship.
This is how a man works.
If he doesn’t FEEL IT with you… then no amount of TALKING to him about opening up or COMMITTMENT is going to move things along.
In fact, if you try and talk your way into a relationship with a man “logically”… odds are it’s going to completely BACKFIRE and he’s going to become increasingly DISTANT and eventually pull away altogether.
You’ve seen this happen before.
Don’t keep making the same mistake so many other women make trying to CONVINCE a man to engage in a relationship… when the only way a man truly gets involved and STAYS with a woman is when the emotional experiences he’s having with a woman (the deeper attraction) tells him that this is the one woman for him.
Luckily, if you don’t have the right man in your life right now, and you don’t know how this “other attraction” works, I’ve got some very GOOD NEWS…
I’ve taken the time to put together an entire in-depth program that shows you what this “other” deeper and more intense and lasting attraction is… and I show you exactly how it works and how to create it with the man in your life.
You can learn all about that “other attraction” that will keep a man both physically AND emotionally bonded to you and get free tips on how this works right here:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
And if you’re single and just starting off with “dating” and meeting new men… it’s a whole different situation than when you’re already with a man and you want to take the attraction and connection between you to the next level.
In that case, you need to know how to find, identify, and capture the RIGHT MAN’S attention and interest… and then you need to know how the dating process works with a man.
Once you learn all this, moving from first meeting to the first few dates to a growing and thriving relationship becomes easy… as you know all the steps along the way and can easily move from one to the next with the man in your life.
Don’t let the common “traps” that other women fall into with dating get in your way.
For the ultimate guide to meeting a great guy and getting things started off right, and to get to the very bottom of the things that keep getting in your way of creating a truly loving and lasting relationship from the start… you need to check out my “Meeting The One” program.
In the letter I’ve written with all the details and samples from this program, I share the single most important thing you need to know as a single woman dating a man that will INSTANTLY TURN OFF the right man and cause him to suddenly pull away.
If you don’t know what this is, and why so many women make this same mistake, then you’re bound to keep messing things up and pushing the man who could be the right one for you away.
Go to the link below to learn this, along with exactly what it is you can say and do that will quickly have a man knowing you’re “the one” for him and carrying your relationship forward in a fun and easy way for you.
Don’t wait. Go here now:
Oh… and if you’re single and having a hard time meeting good guys…
Then I want to share with you the absolute quickest and easiest way to find a great guy, make sure he’s true “relationship material”, and start to connect with him on a deeper level right away.
It’s right here:
Ok, back to it.
Are men really afraid of relationships?
I’ll give it to you straight:
I don’t believe that men are inherently afraid of or resistant to “real relationships”- even though I’m sure you have your own “proof” to the contrary.
Here’s how I know I’m right…
How many times have you known a man who was a friend, or dated a man, who was intent on staying single… and even shunned what could have been a great relationship with an amazing woman just because he didn’t want a “serious relationship”?
But then, just a few weeks or months later, that man met another woman. And within just a few weeks with this new woman he was COMPLETELY SPRUNG and head over heels for her… and he was BEGGING HER for a committed relationship?
Fascinating…
If you’re like most women, then you’ve seen several men you know do this “instant switch” thing where all of a sudden they want a serious relationship… when all they could talk about before was being “on their own.”
Here’s the reality…
Most men are never “ready” for a relationship.
It’s not until they FEEL the magical feelings and experiences with a woman that tell them that “Hey, this is the woman for me” do most men want a relationship.
To make a long story short… love and a LASTING RELATIONSHIP are very rarely DECISIONS that a man makes or plans for.
Love and a lasting relationship is something that a man discovers when a woman affects him in a deep, intense, emotional way to where he literally makes a “shift”… and his old conscious and “logical” thoughts of wanting to wait are simply overcome with his DESIRE.
It’s amazing how people (and men) really work.
And it’s even wilder that no one ever stopped to tell us these things about human nature.
Now, you might be asking yourself… “How does this all relate to the initial question of how come so many women choose the wrong men?”
Here’s how…
Just like a man, when a woman FEELS that intense physical AND emotional connection with a man… she’s often carried away by it.
And when this happens, something fascinating takes place inside the minds and bodies of most women…
They start to believe that the CONNECTION they feel with a man is in and of itself PROOF that this is a “special” situation that is going to become a deeper relationship… and that the man must be sharing these same feelings.
When the truth is that, to a man, the CONNECTION that they feel with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not they want a RELATIONSHIP with a woman.
A man who DOESN’T yet feel like he wants a relationship with a woman can do the following:
- Call a woman, spend time with her, and get physically and sexually involved with her
- Compliment her, tell her she’s beautiful, and buy her gifts or bring her flowers
- Spend time with her over a period of weeks or months and still think of things as “casually dating” with no commitment or “relationship”
What I’m getting at here is that there’s a DANGER in “dating” if you don’t understand how men think and behave when it comes to dating and what constitutes a “relationship” to a man.
I call this “The Danger Of A Connection.”
It’s because of the connection that you feel with a man, you mistakenly believe and start acting as though he’s interested in a more serious relationship, when he’s not there yet in his mind.
(By the way – this is one of the quickest ways to make a man PULL AWAY and kill the ATTRACTION he might have been feeling for you and stop what you had growing between you dead in it’s tracks.)
I can’t tell you how many women meet a great guy, feel that spark, spend time with a man and share affection… and then totally MISUNDERSTAND his desire for a relationship because they become convinced that he must share the same feelings they have.
And this is the number one complaint I hear from great women – that they meet a great guy, hit it off, they get close and intimate, and then the guy backs off and they think-
“Argggh! Why do I always pick these same loser commitment-phobes!?!”
If you’re reading this right now and thinking, “I can TOTALLY relate to this”… I want to help you quickly turn things around.
To put an end to the Ups-and-Downs of dating, and to finally have the amazing love life you want and deserve, I’ve put together what might be the best, single, easy to get your hands on and use resource around-
In my ebook “Catch Him & Keep Him” you’ll not only learn to get to THE ROOT of this problem when dating and connecting with men and having them PULL AWAY or turn out to be anything but the right guy for you.
Dating doesn’t have to be filled with “games,” uncertainty, or even “drama”… if you know how a man thinks and what to do to truly connect with a man on a deep level and start the kind of real relationship you want.
It would be great if you could simply skip the dating process and dive right into a safe and secure loving relationship.
I would want that for you…
But that’s not how things start off.
To quickly give yourself a real-world education of how a man becomes ATTRACTED to a woman, how he sees her as “the one” for him… and what makes his desire for her LAST, I STRONGLY SUGGEST you check out my eBook right now.
It’s a great place to quickly get started with my materials and start transforming your love life right away.
To download your very own copy and be reading it in a couple of minutes… simply go here:
Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download
Now, since we both probably don’t have much more time right now to cover the other scenarios from above… I’ll give you a little shortcut or “cheat-sheet.”
Scenario #2:
-“I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t feel like getting back out there and dating again. How do I get myself to a place where I can open up to a man again and go about this?”
The short answer is to get back in touch with that strong, loving, feminine, beautiful woman who’s already inside you… but who’s having a tough time shining through right now.
To get back to that natural “essence” inside you that will draw not just any man to you, but the RIGHT MAN for you… and quickly attract him to you from the inside out, I recommend you read this:
Scenario #3:
-“I’d love to be with a great guy and enjoy a close and loving relationship… but there don’t seem to be any good single guys around. Where can I meet a genuinely good guy?”
Here is the simplest place to meet a great guy and find out more about him in the first few moments of contact that most other women find out over months of dating:
Scenario #4:
-“The moment I finally do see or meet a great guy, I get nervous and uncertain and I don’t really know what to do or say to get his attention and interest. What should I do, and how do I know if a guy is interested?”
Easy. You need to know what it is you can say and do that will CREATE ATTRACTION with a man – even from the first moment.
I show you exactly what it is that ATTRACTS a man from the first “Hello” right here:
Scenario #5:
-“I’ve heard that other women have met their boyfriends or husbands online, but online dating is not for me.” Or… “I tried online dating and it didn’t work for me.”
I’ve taken the time to put together an entire guide to online dating.
It shows you not only an easy step-by-step to write the kind of PROFILE that will both attract the right men and screen out all the wrong ones online… but it will quickly have the right men contacting YOU and wanting your time and attention – for the right reasons.
I also show you exactly how to build on the connection once you find an interesting guy online… and how to move from email, to talking, to your first date and beyond in a fun and easy way that almost guarantees you’ll have the kind of experience with a man you’re looking for.
It’s all right here:
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
Mel says
I have been following the Carter emails daily for the past 2 years and I think that the focus here is about WHAT men wnat! What we as women have to do to catch him and keep him! I think it BS!!! Its time men wake the f@ck up and realise that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their needs.
I have tried all these tips and I believe that UNTIL you find the “ONE” a man who really “Wants Real Relationships” you are wasting you time.
Focus on you, your wants, your needs. If he is a real man he’ll want you just because of who you are. NOT because of what you can do for him or make him feel!!!
HE must make you feel like the “one”. Otherwise you are wasting your sweet time.
Claire says
I agree with the above comment. I have read books on dating. I have read books on the difference between men and women, etc. – ALL of them targeted to women; none to men. Why is this? Because men simply do not care! I strongly feel that a relationship with the wrong man will prove difficult, but easy if he is the right one.
I am no longer prepared to change who I am for any man. If he doesnt like me just as I am, boo hoo to him! Why must the women always change to “get” the man?
I would rather be alone.
kiesha says
some man`s try to use us woman for anything but me i got the right one but other guys like me too
Elisabeth says
This is not the problem. The problem is not that I meet them and then am intimate with them too soon! The problem, as I see it, may be that I keep meeting them at Church.
I’m 32 and single, which is very unusual if you’re Catholic. There are Catholic men around church, and they’re interested in dating me. Three right now, actually. You want to know about them? Well,
One just got his pin for being sober for three months and is doing very well for someone who has been sober for (yea) 90 days, one is 38 but can’t get a job because he has “issues with authority”, and one spent a month in jail for attempting to molest one of my friend’s kids. (Yes, the priest knows about it, but he has a son he brings to religious ed.)
I have never led these guys on, expressed interest, or done anything other than talk to them. But, there you have it. That’s the single guy population at my church. The first two are nice men and are my friends, but I can’t and won’t date them. I am a teacher, working on my second masters degree, interested in someone who can be a PARTNER — not someone I have to support, coax into finding a job, or try to save when he relapses again and mother when he doesn’t. The only thing that flabbergasts me is how difficult this concept is.
I tried e-harmony but ended up meeting recently-divorced men who seemed either in self-esteem crisis or still angry from past relationships. I didn’t want to deal with that. I’m even on a Catholic website and do e-mail people I see on there. I think religious guys like to make the first move, though, because I don’t get too many responses.
Normal guys who understand commitment and basically have Christian values, WHERE ARE YOU??
Karen says
Hay you think you have problems my last love turn out to be having a gay affair for the past 4 years – beat that !!
Kerry says
This is 2012,smh and still havent found the right man. Is it because im young and all the young men arent serious? Men suck, wish Adam was never created,lol.Im mad because every man i try to date always wants to sleep around and when i tell them NO and that im looking for a serious relationship, they leave.Oh well im only 24 so after i graduate college in a year and God willing get a job, maybe ill find my MR.RIGHT at one of the black tie events for the company i will be working for..hahaha..—–> crying right now
Kerry says
@ Karen, Damn!! Thats why i said men suck!!! You thought he loved you for four years and yet he was gay..Shame on him,lol. I wish you the best..