Hey- it’s Christian.
Does the idea of “dating” sound remotely fun anymore?
Ever feel like giving up on dating because no matter who you date or what you do, you can’t get past a certain point in the relationship?
It’s after that certain point that the man predictably starts to:
- Act distant or flaky
- Stop calling
- Completely CHANGES from the affectionate, considerate guy he was at first and becomes strange and immature
- Show his “true colors” which are lots of the same issues you seem to always find in other men you date
What’s going on with men these days?
Or is it just the men YOU’RE attracting?
If this sounds like your situation, you need to STOP everything you’re doing right now and read what may be the most important letter you’ll ever read about men and relationships.
Below you’ll learn WHY these things keep happening to you and what you can do immediately to turn things around for good:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
In this newsletter I’m going to reveal the top 3 mistakes you may be making when you first start dating a man that completely TURN HIM OFF and make him scramble for an excuse to leave.
And then I’m going to tell you exactly qualities in a woman drive a man totally wild and make him look at you as “girlfriend” or even “marriage” material – from Date #1.
Do you wonder why you can’t seem to get past a first or second date with a man before he starts to pull away, stop calling, or reveal some “excuse” as to why he can’t continue seeing you?
Why does this happen?
And more importantly, what can you do about it so you don’t end up either completely GIVING UP on dating, or worse, continue feeling depressed and disappointed every time a man says, “You’re great, but I’m just not ready.”
What do you tell yourself when yet ANOTHER guy starts to pull away or withdraw from you? Do you ask yourself,
“Am I picking the wrong men or ones who are unavailable?”
“Are men just interested in shallow relationships with shallow women?”
“Am I doing or saying something that’s scaring these guys off?”
“Eeek – is it possible I’m unattractive in some way or doing something completely dorky?”
None of these possibilities make you feel very good, do they?
But you keep wondering at the back of your mind. Is it you, or is it him? What’s going on?
You’ve got a great career and you’ve accomplished a lot in your life. You know you have a LOT going for you.
Shouldn’t a man should feel LUCKY to have met you, and want a woman like you in his life?
He should, absolutely!
But for some reason, no matter who you meet or go on a date with, the man acts like he’s lost interest past the first few dates or weeks.
It happens with the guy you thought was totally attractive and “together” and sexy. It happens with the guy who wasn’t all that interesting but seemed so into you on the first date.
It doesn’t seem to matter who the guy is or what the situation was, because it all ends the same way. Somehow your dating life is STUCK in first gear.
Tell me if this is the pattern you’re noticing in your love life, because it’s certainly a pattern I hear about a LOT from women:
You meet a man on the internet or at a party somewhere and he seems like a great prospect. So you agree to meet for coffee somewhere.
You try to feel optimistic that this time, you and he will connect and it will be the start of something great. At first it seems to be going well. The conversation is flowing and you laugh together and you feel witty and attractive around him. You are POSITIVE that this time, this guy is going to call you right away and ask you out again.
But days go by and there’s no call, no email, no text.
Just when you were about to forget about him, he finally does call, but he sounds less than enthusiastic about asking you out again. Maybe he’s having a bad day, you think. Maybe I’m just imagining things, you hope.
On your second date things feel a little “off” – there are less laughs, he seems anxious to end the date, and things just don’t feel as exciting or connected like they did the first time you got together.
A few days later, you get a message from him and he tells you he has to “focus” on work right now and isn’t ready to get too involved, or that even though he thinks you’re a great woman, he’s not “feeling a lot of chemistry” with you.
You don’t get it. Why did he ask you out if he was so busy? And the chemistry felt off the chart on the first date, so what went wrong between date #1 and #2?
You feel a little humiliated, and really hopeless.
But hang on.
According to Amy Anderson, a professional and successful matchmaker who has brought many, many couples together for committed relationships, there are actually quite a few things that could be going wrong for you if you keep experiencing this over and over.
ESPECIALLY if you’re a woman who is looking for a committed relationship and ESPECIALLY if you’re an independent, successful woman with a lot to offer in a relationship.
Amy ought to know – she’s been hearing stories about first and second dates from literally HUNDREDS of women, and hearing first-hand what the outcome was.
She specializes in matchmaking educated professionals who are marriage-minded, so pretty much all of her female clients want to meet Mr. Right and develop a successful, long-term relationship.
She sat down with me recently in an hour-long conversation about dating and meeting the one for my “Interviews With Dating and Relationship Experts” series to talk about what women can do to find and attract the right man, and what mistakes to avoid along the way.
Fortunately, these are very simple and innocent “mistakes” and are something that can easily be fixed or eliminated.
Keep reading and I’ll tell you exactly what you can do to completely turn your love life around and finally meet Mr. Right.
But first, let me reveal to you what Amy called the “biggest mistakes” she sees women (her clients) making when they go out on first, second or third dates with men they’re attracted to.
DATING MISTAKE #1: Giving too much information.
This typically happens when you go on a date with a guy who is really good-looking and charismatic.
You feel a little nervous. So, you start talking – really fast.
He bounces off your story and soon you feel like you’ve really got a great connection going. He totally understands where you’re coming from!
Next thing you know, you’ve got TMI going on: Too much information.
You’re telling him about how much you HATE your ex and how much of a jerk he is, or how you had a drinking problem two years ago, or how you just sued your neighbor. Eeek!
Sharing too much information about your past or yourself because you feel some sort of connection and it gives you a false sense of security about telling him things you would normally never tell someone you just met.
Be careful about what you talk about. Remain true to yourself.. just be more restrained.
A guy will think you have bad judgment if you complain about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve had, for example. There will be time later to reveal all the mistakes and secrets from your past. For the first few dates, however, you’d really serve yourself better to present yourself in the best possible light.
DATING MISTAKE #2: Boasting too much.
Do you feel like you need to “prove yourself” with the men you date?
Do you need to show how interesting, smart, dedicated, and independent you are by sharing stories that prove that?
It’s understandable that you might want to do this. First and second dates can feel nerve-wracking for BOTH people. But just because it feels that way doesn’t mean it IS.
So you tell him how you doubled your company’s profits and now you’re about to get a huge promotion.
Or you tell him how you just finished your master’s degree and you’ve already gotten published in a professional journal.
Ummm..ok. That’s great. If you’re applying for a JOB.
This sort of heavy boasting feels competitive to a man and TURNS HIM OFF, especially if it’s totally out of context with the rest of the conversation.
It’s not what a man wants from a woman – someone to compete with or compare his accomplishments to.
A man isn’t turned on by a woman who lists all the ways in which she “got the job done” or what OTHER people think of her various accomplishments.
On the first date he couldn’t care less, actually. So what ARE men looking for?
Men are looking for someone who is nurturing, feminine and sensual.
Just because a woman is smart, professional and capable doesn’t mean that a man is going to feel attracted to you emotionally or want to have a relationship with you.
And no, I’m not telling you that you can’t show your intelligence. Of COURSE you can, and you should, because there’s no bigger turn on for a man than a woman who is as smart as she is feminine and sensual.
Warmth, femininity and intelligence is like MAN CANDY.
And by the way, if you want to know what other kinds of traits men find completely magnetic and irresistible, I encourage you to check out my “Natural and Lasting Attraction” program.
In this program, I reveal the secrets to what triggers that mysterious kind of attraction that will have a man practically falling for you on the first date.
You’ll learn the 5 KEYS to sparking intense attraction in a man and keeping him thinking and wondering about you. These 5 keys have NOTHING to do with physical attributes.
It’s not about looking good or wearing flattering clothes.
It’s about the way you talk and how you say things. It’s about your attitude and the way you carry yourself.
Once you learn what it takes to keep a man attracted, you’ll no longer have to worry that he’s getting distant or withdrawing because of anything YOU did to turn him off. It all right here:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
And finally, the third biggest dating doozie:
DATING MISTAKE #3 Overcompensating.
Let’s say you’ve managed to get past date #1 and #2 with a guy. You’ve been talking on the phone, emailing and texting each other non-stop since you met.
He’s EVERYTHING you’ve wanted in a man.
And you feel an incredible connection with him. You think about him constantly and want to show him how special you think he is.
Maybe on the second date you did something really special, like cooked him a huge, gourmet dinner at your house that took you HOURS to prepare.
Now you’re offering to pick up his dry cleaning. You bought him a cute card at the bookstore. You start recommending things for him to do that you think will make his life “better.”
Suddenly, he starts to pull away. Withdraw. Give excuses. Call or text less.
What happened? You were doing everything to show him how attracted you were to him. You were being sweet and giving.
That’s right. You overcompensated.
Ultimately this turns a man off because you seem not to have your own needs or desires.
A man wants to find a way to please you, not figure out ways to let you know how you can please HIM.
The clich that “men love the chase” is true in this sense.
He wants the “chase” – as in, he wants to feel like he’s whittling away at the mystery of what it’s going to take to win you over.
If YOU do all the chasing by being too nice, too forthcoming, too open and available, it will give the man a “bleh” feeling about you.
Instead, create a sense of MYSTERY about yourself. Let him figure out what you like by letting him pursue YOU.
One of the ways that a lot of women think they can attract a man or get him interested in a relationship is by being a little “too nice.”
A man won’t fall for you because of the many things you can DO for him or because you’re a kind and giving person.
A man will fall for you because of the way you make him FEEL, and because of that certain intangible “something” that compels him to want to be around you and to make you his forever.
If you’ve ever tried to get a guy to like you because you were “there” for him, or were his “best friend”, then I wonder – how did that work out for you in the long run?
Chances are, it didn’t.
A man won’t feel drawn to you because you do him favors or treat him like a pal. He’ll feel drawn to you for reasons that may seem completely COUNTER-INTUITIVE to you.
Find out what the common “misperceptions” are about attraction and how to trigger something deep in his mind that will keep him hooked for good. Check out what I wrote about all of this in this special letter right here:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
Before he asks you out, a man will make a very quick judgment about you based on how you look. He might have a certain “type” that he usually is drawn to, whether that be petite blonds or curvy brunettes.
That’s the “physical” kind of attraction that quickly tells a man whether or not he even want to APPROACH you.
After that, something very different comes into play.
It’s a deeper level of attraction that is created when you create anticipation, tension and other feelings inside a man.
How do you do that?
You do it with a certain attitude, in what you say, how you say it, and the level of “mystery” and unpredictability you bring to the
relationship or date.
Some women naturally have this ability to be themselves and attract men to them in this way. It’s a self-fulfilling thing for women like this – the more they easily attract men, the more confident they feel being “themselves.”
For most women, though, it’s hard to relax and just be yourself. Have you noticed that?
You’ve had so many bad experiences in the past with men that you’re idea of “being yourself” around a man is completely twisted.
You think playing hard to get is a turn-on. It may be, but not in the way you think.
You think you need to show you’re independent and ambivalent before a man pursues you. Not necessarily.
To find out what REALLY works for men, what really attracts them and sparks MORE than just a short-term interest, read about my “Natural And Lasting Attraction” program right here:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
I’ll talk to you again soon, and in the meantime. best of luck in Life and Love.
Me and this guy met through my roommate. He knocked on my door and showed an interest in me. Plus he told his friends that he liked me. Well…we hang out as a group and we both knew we were both interested in each other, but we decided we didn’t want anything serious. So we were going to be friends with benefits. Another reason for this was because he said he’s an a-hole and he doesn’t want me to fall in love with him. However, like three days after we agreed to be friends with benefits, he wanted to have a relationship with me. So I said yes. Everything led to another and he ended up taking my virginity. Well…things started to feel weird. I would barley see him throughout the day. And we really didn’t talk much either. Well…the night we ended it was when I was drunk off of whine and he was buzzed off of whiskey. So I dont even know what happened but it was over. Three days later I went to his room to give him back his things and it was confirmed that we were over. A day later there was a house party and he was being totally different with me. Like he use to be. However the next day it was like he changed his mind. All he kept saying was that he’s and a-hole and liked it and didn’t want me to fall in love him. I haven’t seen him since Sunday. I dont know what to do now. He’s doing what he normally does. I dont have any real friends and the people that I just started hanging out with hang out with him. I feel like I’m back where I started from with my other ex. Could you please reply back.
Well the reason why he is drawing back from you, is because although the two of you decided to be in a serious relationship, you gave up the cookies too soon, hun. If you give it up too soon, he has no other choice but to leave you. That’s just the nature of a man to pursue and chase. You have to have something for him to chase. If you open up your legs, you’re not creating mystery in your relationship with him.
He told you the type of guy he was from the beginning. When a man tell you who he is, believe him. Don’t think for one moment that “oh he’s only kidding”. No if he says that he’s no good for you and don’t want anything serious, please believe him. It is what it is.
It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to be with him. You have to make an informed decision on who you will be with. He told you information about where his mind was, and you decided to still be with him. Listen closely to what they say b/c you can’t change their mind, only God can.