Do you know what it means when your boyfriend gets quiet, “zones out” and acts like he doesn’t want to talk to you?
One minute everything feels great and you’re laughing and connecting and the next minute some weird “mood” comes over him and he goes off into his own little world.
Or maybe your relationship is chugging along at full speed, getting closer and closer, and suddenly you feel like YOU are the only one reaching out and connecting…and he is just sitting there?
What’s up with that?
Why do men do this?
If this has ever happened to you, I want you to know that it’s critical for you to know WHY – and what to do about it (and what to AVOID doing at all costs).
PAY ATTENTION: Because this is important:
How you react in a situation like this can mean the difference between him KNOWING the one woman who can make him happy, or feeling unsure about the future of your relationship.
Find out what’s going on “Inside The Mind Of A Man” by going to this link right now:
Now I’d like to share a question I recently received from a reader about a situation just like this.
***QUESTION FROM A READER:***
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year and we are very serious about each other. We are even talking about marriage and we have already moved in together.
So what’s the problem you ask?
Even after all this time, I still find myself trying to figure out what he’s thinking sometimes.
Sometimes he’s a mystery to me, why he does and says some of the things he does, and this scares me a lot and makes me crazy since we are so serious about each other.
For example, sometimes he just gets quiet and won’t talk to me. And it doesn’t have to be anything going wrong like a fight or anything for this to happen.
He says that he needs his alone time, but I sense that it’s because of something I have done that makes him shut down. I’d really like to fix it if I could. I wish I knew how to read these things better or if I even should be reading anything into it at all. Can you help?
I can definitely help.
First of all, I have some good news for you.
You can relax.
From what I’m hearing about your situation, there is nothing abnormal or wrong with what is happening between you and your boyfriend.
The fact that he’s telling you he needs “alone time” doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with how he feels about you and your “serious” relationship.
It has EVERYTHING to do with how a man approaches relationships, his own “down time” and the “up time” when he is with you.
Many women believe that when a man acts “disengaged” it is because he’s not happy, or he’s unsatisfied, or he doesn’t want to be with you and wants to be with someone else.
As a matter of fact, thinking that there’s something wrong with the relationship when a man gets quiet is one of what I call the “Man Myths” that a lot of women believe about men.
The way your boyfriend is behaving is TYPICAL and to be expected of a man in a relationship. It doesn’t mean something is WRONG…for example:
Has your guy ever done this?
— Made plans to spend a night alone with “the guys” after several intense and romantic days with you
— Go and “zone out” in front of the T.V. or computer after dinner or after a long conversation with you, and acts irritated when you try to interrupt him
— Spend huge chunks of time on weekends tinkering around the garage or working on his hobby and not engaged or interested in spending time with you
I’d bet that he’s done this more than once… and when he does, what do YOU think about what’s going through his mind?
Do you start wondering if he’s angry about something you did or said, or is somehow DISAPPROVING of you in some way?
Do you wonder if he cares LESS about you in that moment, or is questioning your relationship?
Do you start to talk yourself into feeling, “ok, well he’s into his own thing, so I’m going to go off and be into mine.”
Or do you think, “well I need to fill my time with other interests since he is OBVIOUSLY not interested in spending his precious time with me.”
If you find yourself thinking any of these things, chances are pretty good that you’re reacting to him in a way that sends a very negative message – a message that is GUARANTEED to send him packing or push him away from you.
That’s because you’re reacting to a MYTH that you heard somewhere about men – that men really don’t care about spending quality, intimate time with women.
OK, I’m a man and I am going to say that again – and in all caps (because I can)!
MEN DO CARE ABOUT SPENDING QUALITY, INTIMATE TIME WITH WOMEN.
What’s worse, though, is that by believing the myth that men need alone time BECAUSE they don’t care about you, or would rather NOT talk because they’re disapproving of you in any way is probably causing you to behave in a way that is DESTRUCTIVE to your relationship.
Let me explain.
You wrote in your email that you feel scared and a little bit crazy when your boyfriend behaves in a way that is a mystery to you.
What if I were to tell you that men have a completely different way of UNPLUGGING and decompressing than women do…and that for a man, to spend time alone WITHOUT TALKING or having a “deep” conversation is his way of relaxing and getting back some of his mental energy.
And yet you INTERPRET it as meaning that he isn’t engaged with you in some way.
The thing is, if you’re punishing him in some way for doing things that are actually normal and NATURAL for him as a man, such as needing alone time or time to zone out and decompress, then what you’re actually communicating to him is that you don’t understand who he is.
And if your man doesn’t think that you understand him, then OF COURSE he will disengage!
You just want him to be exactly like you.
But that’s not what you REALLY want, is it?
While it’s true that there are fundamental differences in men and women, such as the way they decompress and re-energize, it’s also true that they have much more in COMMON than you think.
Most women I talk with don’t realize that men and women aren’t really that different.
Look at the list below. Do these sound like myths to you? Actually, they are TRUTHS about menand how they feel about relationships.
Men may not ADMIT this readily, but for most men, when they decide that a woman is TRULY the woman for them, it is because she has met these criteria – maybe not all, but definitely most.
> She makes him feel cherished
> She makes him feel her desire for him, so he never feels unattractive, insignificant or unimportant
> He feels SAFE and secure in the relationship
> She makes him spontaneous and FUN in a way he hasn’t felt like since his youth…and feeling things that can’t be planned in a relationship, just like you
I’ve produced a unique program that answers all those burning questions you have about what your boyfriend is thinking and feeling when he does something that feels like a mystery to you.
My new Inside The Mind Of A Man program is YOUR roadmap to how a real man thinks and behaves, so you never again have to feel worried or scared about something he said… or didn’t say.
This all-new material will help you discover, without a doubt, what his level of maturity is… to what he thinks of sleeping with other women… to what it takes for him to know he wants to commit to you forever.
You can read about this amazing program right here:
When I filmed this program live in Los Angeles, I have to admit that at first I wasn’t sure how the women in the audience would take it.
Some of the insights I revealed about men are a little bit racy, a little bit TOO honest. And frankly…I was a little uncomfortable with where the discussion was going!
But the reaction from the women of all ages in the audience was overwhelming.
I could see a wave of change taking place with the women in the audience – women who were desperate to gain some insight into their guys’ minds – and they suddenly started to grasp how a guy’s mind works. how they could approach men with a new outlook… even if they had been hesitant and apprehensive with men before.
But don’t take my word for it. Here’s some feedback I received from a woman who attended the program.
This amazing women was kind enough to share her thoughts right after the taping was finished:
“The Inside The Mind Of A Man program taught me that a man wants to free to be himself and be your hero, NOT free from you, which is a misconception many women have.
The most important thing I learned is that men are more bothered by stress and confrontation than women. They often see our desire to talk as conflict, thus men are more passive and we think they are not listening. I learned that criticism of your man definitely does not work. Liberal praise and reward is the only way to success with a man. It’s a Pavlov’s Dog thing.
N.K. Los Angeles, CA”
LOL! “Pavlov’s Dog thing.” Nice.
This program is literally for ANY woman who wants to have a relationship with a man – the kind of relationship that has depth and will stand the test of time.
My Inside The Mind Of A Man program is going to show you exactly how to start sharing the kind of relationship you deserve with a man, because you’ll have a deep level of understanding about him.
You’ll discover how to keep your relationship passionate and AFFAIR-FREE, how to talk to him about how you’re feeling so he’ll listen and care, and you’ll learn what stage of maturity your man is in so you’ll “get” hy he acts a certain way (and what it means to your relationship for the long-term.)
It’s all right here:
And if you’ve never ordered a program from me before, there’s something I need to tell you.
Just like any of my programs, my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” is completely no-risk for your to order and try before you pay a dime.
That’s right, you can review your copy for a full 30 days before deciding if it’s the right program for you.
But I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be. You’re in a great relationship and you don’t want to spend your entire life feeling constantly feeling scared and confused about your man, right?
That’s why you NEED this program.
I know you’re going to love the insights and tips you’ll get from my “Inside The Mind Of A Man”
Here’s the link where you can order your own copy:
Good luck and I’ll talk to you again soon!
P.S. My “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program is the program I’ve finally created for you that reveals the real secrets about what men think and feel when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships.
This program will show you:
> The 7 Things that men REALLY WANT from women
> Why men cheat, even when they say they’re in love with you
> How one of the most common myths women believe about men can actually be preventing you from EXPRESSING your needs and desires to a man; learn the FACTS and experience a complete shift in your perceptions and feel EMPOWERED instantly
> The 8 Attraction Killers that will make him think twice about being with you in the future
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i need an advice reading all this made me think about my story with a guy that I met online and we have been dating 4 months now mostly smsing and I fly once a month to the country, city he is in (my birth city where my parents are).. I had been from the beginning quite skeptical about dating with such a long distance….we overcame it and things were seeming to be okay until few days ago….of course I wanted so much him to want me to spend time with me and he kept saying he has no time (his job is too demanding working and traveling a lot). The strange thing is that when ever he could not see me he would feel so guilty…like he was afraid he would lose me…..there has been always this tension…..we barely talked on the phone…did not want it too much and saw each other 2 to 3 days a month…i knew about everything but never met his family or friends…(which I found strange) he also asked me to go slowly but always sent sms where he is and what he does….also strange…
anyway…few days ago he understood i was not feeling well and asked what is wrong…my answer exactly….I have nothing with you….I am just abit tired with the distance….and I got a wonderful answer that we will find a solution and it will all be ok….then few hours later another sms that he expected this cause i have so much time to think and he does not and that whatever does not have a solution needs to be stopped….I took it that he is telling me to stop…..there was no need for this last comment so I said few things that he is afraid and that confuses me one time he says he wants a family and the other that he wants to stop it….On and off I have been feeling with him strange…..maybe it was my fantasy but he kept saying that things will change and we should be patient…
Anyway now i am her ein the same city and he said in a very nice way that he does not want to see THIS TIME me cause I pushed him away and it is not HIS FAULT and that he does not want to hurt me…he told me to take care and kisses
and I ask is this an emotionally unavailable man or this quite a normal behaviour? The long distance does not help and the fact that he likes mostly sms and email and no other form of communication make me confused….he also tries to speak my native language, GREEK, does not make things easier….but he refuses to speak english which we both speak fluently!!!
There are many strange things…..he ays he lives with his sister and he is quite overprotective spending most of his free weekends with her….could he be lying or am I too paranoid? Not knowing hi and not having too much info about him does not help….sometimes I think he is the most wonderful man and the other that he is a lier and maybe his sister is his wife and he is cheating…how could this be??? two so very opposite things for the same man? He says he is not doing anything on purpose…..But when a man knows in advance he has not so much free time why is he entering a relationship unless he just wants to have some fun…..especially through the internet with not much info showing,…
I am writing all this cause maybe this is atypical man behavior that I do not understand….anyway since this last email I have not heard from him…..ANY ideas>??? any help???
Agnes aliyu says
It’s nice to know that there’s still hope for women who’ve tasted d bitter sides of relationship…my boyfriend hardly calls me,but each i call he gives excuses and apologises and tells me he loves me. Should i believe him?i really love him.
Agnes aliyu says
Somtimes i feel like the good guy never looks my way…my boyfriend hardly calls me,but each i call he gives excuses and apologises and tells me he loves me. Should i believe him?i really love him.is there any hope for us?