Getting Your Heart Back After Being Hurt

Ready for some quick “hands-on” tips about what really works with men, and what doesn’t? Good, because I’m going to share a few emails from REAL WOMEN about how things work in the real world of dating and relationships with men.

****Email From A Reader****

Christian,

You are wonderful and so are your programs. I became engaged on Dec. 17th and I have a great big diamond ring to show for it.

Ha!

I recently listened to your Casual to Committed disks again and they are still helping me navigate the world of men as we try to decide on a wedding date. He keeps telling me I bewitched him because he can’t believe his own behavior or feelings.

He feels I am very different from all of the women he has ever been involved with. I use ideas and make comments from your programs and my fiancee’ thinks I’m extremely smart. This is a dream come true for me and I am so happy.

I started reading your stuff in June of 2006 after a man I had been in love with just cut off all communication and sort of disappeared. I was devastated. I printed your ebook and listened to your interviews. Thirteen days later my fiancee’ started writing to me from a dating site and I knew just how to handle the entire dating situation this time.

He actually proposed in August of 2006, but of course I told him no because I was going to date for a while longer having just been out of another relationship. Well, he really started pursuing me then and before I knew it he had me (and I had him).

He gleefully told me I hooked him and then would wonder out loud how I did it since he had been dating a long time and had always dated ‘airheads and bimbos’. But I’m now considered sexy and fun and mysterious!! ME!!!

Thanks so much. My fiancee’ and I are in our fifties and both of us had very long, very unhappy marriages. We are ecstatic to be so well matched and ‘know’ how to find our way through the commitment process with both of us feeling really good about it.

I think without the help of ‘Catch Him and Keep Him’ I would have made the same mistakes I made with the first man (and my ex-husband) and would have been crying and scratching my head as to why another relationship dissolved.Your programs and your staff you work with made all the difference.

Truly I feel like a miracle has happened for me. I feel feminine and sexy and I never did before.

Thanks again.

K.R.

>>>>My Comments:

You’ve made some great points here…

The first being, if you find that you “fail” or get hurt in a relationship with a man, you don’t have to take it to mean that there’s something wrong with YOU.

Unfortunately, lots of women worry endlessly about what might be wrong with them when things suddenly fall apart with the special man in their life.

And some women NEVER find a way to recover from this and get back to a healthy and happy emotional place in their lives… which ends up getting in the way of creating something better in the future with another man.

Instead of worrying and letting all kinds of false and negative beliefs take over your mind and “infect” the way you think and feel… you can decide to find and learn what actually works with men and start having new and better experiences.

“Success” if you will.

And you can do this almost immediately if you want to – if you find the right things to learn and start doing differently.

But what’s more subtle but fascinating that you pointed out is this-

When you “know” how things work with a man, what might be coming next, and how to deal with it… all of a sudden EVERYTHING feels EASY.

There aren’t any surprises, shocks, or scary bumps in the road. And you can handle pretty much anything thrown at you and come out on the other side smelling like roses.

And next thing you know a man is begging YOU for a commitment (or even marriage in your case), instead of you begging and chasing him.

On the other hand, when you don’t know how things work with a man, everything that happens can feel like it’s the start of a new disaster, and you end up anxious and worried all the time- which is NOT something that makes a man want to get closer to you.

Congratulations on your engagement, and keep it up in your relationship.

As you learned in my “From Casual To Committed” program, even a marriage proposal is just another level of commitment… and if you want to keep your relationship ALIVE and GROWING, then you need to understand that you’ll both continue to move into even higher levels of commitment with each other.

And like every man, his natural response when you arrive at new levels of commitment will be for him to RESIST you and your relationship.

Don’t let this frustrate or confuse you in case you thought that becoming engaged meant that he wouldn’t ever act this way again.

This isn’t how men work. But now you know what to do about it.

Keep using what I’ve taught you about how men think about relationships and commitment, and how ATTRACTION is one of the very quickest and easiest ways to keep you both growing closer.

No matter how long you’ve been together, and no matter how committed you already are.

****Email From A Reader

Dear Christian,

To cut a long story as short, reading your words has helped me get to know the truth from a mans perspective, which I guess I knew but was in denial over, and I didn’t want to face the truth!! But it has helped me enormously. Kind of a ‘pull yourself together girl!’

YOU ARE WORTH MORE than the humiliation you keep putting yourself through from chasing ‘un-available guys’.

I’ve had a kind of re-affirmation and revalation about where my relationship really is, despite everyone else telling me it was fine and wanting me to put my head in the sand just because it was great sometimes, we had fantastic sex, but it was lacking in the level of commitment and caring I desire.

Plus it gets me upset and mad!!!

Thanks for writing your ebook. I would recommend reading your ebook to any heart broken girl who wants her life back on track.. with him OR without him!!!

Thanks very much

S.S. xxxx

>>>>My Response:

You said something that I hear from TONS of women who read my ebook and write me…

It’s that you’ve really had the “realities” of how men are driven home for you… and you also have a new attitude and perspective about yourself and what you deserve and will tolerate.

That’s great, but it’s not enough. And I care enough to be really honest with you about it.

Here’s the thing…

There’s a kind of “process” lots of women who read my stuff and quickly have a “breakthrough” go through that keeps them from making their love lives as amazing as they can be.

It goes roughly like this-

Step 1: Doubting that anyone can help them – especially some strange random guy online.

Step 2: Reading enough of my newsletters that they realize, “Hey, this guy might actually know something that could help me.”

Step 3: Buying and reading my eBook, and having a feeling of RELIEF and transformation as they see the things they couldn’t understand before or clarify about men, dating, and relationships.

Step 4: Thinking that this one “Aha!” they’ve had is going to change everything. But then they go out and still do the things they have always been doing, thinking that their new understanding is somehow going to magically create a new result from the same behavior.

Step 5: Realizing that simply recognizing something mean you know how to DO IT yourself, and that it might take some adjustment to your own behavior to change the way things turn out with men.

There’s a “next step” for you here…

You need to take the specific things that I teach you to DO and SAY with men in my eBook… and then start actually DOING THEM.

The best place to start is by working on how ATTRACTION is created inside a man.

Use all the things I explain such as conversational tips, body language, and what makes a woman “cool” in a man’s mind to do this and get started.

Then, when you find a great guy who you really connect with and would want to start a more serious relationship with… make sure you think about triggering what I call in my eBook his “Honest Woman Response“.

Remember this comes from the old saying, “to make an honest woman of her”. (Which basically means to treat a woman well, care for her, and give her your respect and loyalty)

Here’s why I bring up this up specifically…

The reality is that since you’ve had to have your own personal realization about your “self-worth”… it’s very likely that you’ve been carrying around some negative beliefs about yourself and your relationships with men inside you.

And this has taught men to see you the way they do.

In other words, the way you have been seeing and thinking of yourself has been the way men have ended up treating you.

“Unworthy.”

If you want a man to meet you and know that you’re the kind of woman to love, cherish, and RESPECT, then it’s a good idea to make sure you know how to COMMUNICATE to him that you know your own self-worth from the very beginning, and that you’ll accept nothing less from him.

So go back and re-read the section on the “Honest Woman Response” and start DOING those things I talk about that trigger a man’s “Honest Woman Response“.

The good news is that you’ve done the hard part – having the “mental shift” in your own mind.

Now put it to use with the tips I’ve given you and keep it up until the man you’re with is so wild for you he’s about to go crazy not being able to eat or sleep because he’s thinking about you all the time.

And if you’re reading this right now, and you haven’t downloaded my online eBook, you need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it and literally be reading it in a few minutes. Go download it here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter