Do you ever find yourself repeating the same bad patterns in relationships?
You meet a guy you think is finally “The One.”
He doesn’t play games, he’s attentive and caring – and you think, “finally, a guy I can have a great relationship with.”
But weeks or months later, all the old familiar problems start up.
He starts to get distant.
Or you wonder if he’s dating other women.
Or you feel like he’s controlling you all the time, or maybe the opposite – he’s too passive and “boring.”
Or you can’t seem to get through to him no matter what you say or do.
Many women often find themselves repeating the same types of problems or attracting the same kind of man and experiencing the same kind of heartbreak over and over.
Look down this list of 5 Types of Bad Relationships and tell me, do you recognize yourself in any of these?
Bad Relationship #1) The “Instant Relationship”
If you’ve been dating a man for several weeks or less, and you:
- Wonder why he’s not spending more time with you or calling more
- Worry that he’s dating other women or that he still has his profile up online
- Wait to see if he’s going to ask you out before you make any plans for weekends or days off
- Feel disappointed when he doesn’t call when he said he would, and you let him know by losing your cool, crying, acting hurt, etc.
Then you may be in what I call an “Instant Relationship.”
This sets off a man’s “Clingy Radar” and is a BIG WARNING SIGN to a man in the early stages.
Because it makes him feel that you’re desperate to have a relationship and that before you’ve even had time to get to know each other you NEED him in an uncomfortable way.
When you’ve made up your mind about a man, when in fact you don’t really know him that well yet… and he hasn’t even had time to get to know his own feelings well enough to be thinking “relationship” with you… and then you start talking and acting in ways as though he’s OBLIGATED to be your boyfriend…
It’s a HUGE TURN OFF for a man.
A man wants to WANT a woman because of the way he FEELS when he’s with her.
He doesn’t want a woman who tells him how he should feel, and who acts like she’s entitled to a committed relationship after a few great dates, or because you’ve both chosen to get physical.
The reality is, when a man is “dating”, he’s simply enjoying the connection you have in the present moment.
And THAT’S IT.
He’s not wondering “what it all means”, and what you should call what you have.
When you as a woman suddenly show up will all kinds of thoughts, questions, expecations or FEARS about your “relationship”…
Or you’ve been spending hours thinking about your “relationship” and what’s happening and where this is all going…
A man will sense it, get an awkward feeling from you, and it will result in a HUGE disconnect in his mind with you.
This SCREAMS “desperate” and “needy” to a man.
In his mind, he’s still getting to know you and hasn’t decided whether or not he wants to have a real relationship with you yet.
Meanwhile, you are either consciously or unconsciously thinking you already ARE in a real relationship, even though no such thing has been decided or discussed.
Nothing could be a bigger turn off to a man when this happens too early on.
It’s as big a turn off for a man as it is for you to have a man EXPECT to have sex with you just because you went out on a date.
Don’t do it.
So let me ask you…
Have you ever, or are you currently making this mistake?
If so, you need to know that simply meeting the right guy is only HALF the story.
You also need to know how to create the kind of experiences with him, and what to DO and SAY so he’ll feel a DEEP level of ATTRACTION for you, to where he’ll start thinking and wondering about your future ON HIS OWN.
Too many women make the mistake of wanting to skip the “dating process” with a man where he can spend time and share certain experiences that tell him you’re the one for him.
If he’s not showing you that he thinks you’re the one, then he’s not FEELING this way with you.
But lots of women, when they see that a man is NOT thinking that they’re the one, instead of trying to create the situations that will invite a man into FEELING this way…
They try and talk or convince a man into wanting a more loving and committed relationship.
Of course, most women are coming from a great place inside when they do this. A place of love and caring.
But they don’t understand that the feelings THEY HAVE, and the knowledge they have of how amazing things could be if they shared their love more deeply, are NOT the things that will make a man FEEL like moving the relationship forward.
If you don’t lay down a good FOUNDATION with a man in the early stages by creating the situations that will make him WANT YOU and only you for his own reasons, then all your best intentions and your desire to share love is going to fall short.
Simply put- he won’t end up “feeling it” for you.
To read more about how you might be accidentally turning your man off by showing him the signs that you’re living the “Instant Relationship” with him and killing the attraction he felt for you at first-
Then you need to check out this special letter I wrote where I share some free tips on how to keep your Mr. Right crazy about you and wanting and asking YOU for more instead of the other way around:
Bad Relationship #2) The Convincer/Resistor Relationship
Many women write me and ask what they should do or say to convince their man to commit to them, or to take their relationship to the “next level.”
My answer is always the same, no matter if you’ve been with a man one month, one year, or ten years.
Men don’t commit just because it’s time or because you’ve put down an ultimatum or told him he should, or else he’s a toad who’s afraid of commitment.
Women who take on the role of “Convincer” try to control their relationship by telling a man how things should be based on how THEY see things – not what the man is feeling or experiencing.
How would you feel if a man was telling you your feelings weren’t valid, were wrong, or plain made you into a fool?
You’d know he was crazy, and didn’t “get you” on any level whatsoever.
If you’re in this kind of relationship where you’re upsetting the NATURAL BALANCE that makes things flow freely by being a “Convincer”, then you may find yourself doing some of this stuff:
- Trying to get a man to talk about his feelings whenever he starts getting distant, moody or withdrawn
- Talking him into the idea of getting more committed (moving in together, being exclusive) based on what YOU think should happen
- Buying a man gifts, writing him cards or letters, or doing “nice” things for him so he’ll appreciate or like you more
Do you know what happens when you do these things?
Right. A man will RESIST your attempts to change the way he thinks and feels by avoiding you, becoming cold or distant, or by putting his friends or interests ahead of spending time with you.
“Resisting” is a psychologically natural reaction to someone trying to Convince you.
What’s worse, he’ll see you as clingy when in fact you’re far from it.
There’s a better way to take your relationship from a casual one to a more serious and committed one, WITHOUT doing any kind of convincing, pleading, negotiating or too much “discussing.”
First, realize that no conversation and no amount of gift-giving and doing nice things will convince a man that he should be in love with you or commit to you.
A man will love and commit to you based on his OWN internal dialogue. His feelings will tell him all he needs to know (so you don’t have to).
Second, never assume a man wants what you want. If you haven’t taken the time to really understand where your guy is coming from and what HE wants out of life and your relationship, then you’re already fighting a losing battle.
Women can have very strong feelings about what a relationship should look like and how THEY want things to progress.
But that may not look like anything the man is thinking or feeling.
This can create a HUGE disconnect and a lot of tension and anxiety that doesn’t need to be there in the first place.
Instead, learn how to be MORE honest with your desires but LESS attached to the outcome after you express them.
Learn exactly what it takes to make a man KNOW he wants to commit to you and ONLY you, so all you need to do is keep being the great partner that you are. Soon, he will be the one begging YOU to take it to the “next level.”
Go to this link now and find out how this can happen for you faster than you thought possible, and be easier and more effortless than you imagined:
Bad Relationship #3) The “Friends With Benefits” Relationship
Have you ever slept with a man hoping that he would “come around” to wanting something deeper and more meaningful with you?
A lot of women think that being sexual makes a man feel closer and more in love with them.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work quite this way with a man.
A man can, AND WILL, have a relationship based purely on physical pleasure without ever considering ANYTHING long-term or committed with a woman.
That’s right – he can be intimate with you WITHOUT necessarily wanting to have a “relationship” with you.
As a matter of fact, this kind of friends-with-benefits situation can go on INDEFINITELY in aman’s mind, and all the while the woman is getting more and more emotionally attached.
And then one day he meets another woman he emotionally connects with, decides he can no longer even be “friends” with you, and you’re left feeling pretty awful.
Yeah. This “friends-with-benefits” thing is always a BAD IDEA if you ever want the chance for something deeper.
If you’re in that situation now, or you’re considering it because you think it will make a man feel closer and more “into” you, stop right now.
Learn what it takes for a man to really FALL for you, to want to be with you and ONLY you.
(Hint: It’s not about how good you look or how much you can turn him on with your sexuality. It’s about something much deeper and long-lasting.)
Read here how to flip that switch deep inside a man’s mind that makes him think of you as serious “Girlfriend Material” and not just a friend:
#4) THE “IMAGINARY” RELATIONSHIP
My good friend Rori Raye talks about this kind of relationship women have.
Or should I say, this kind of relationship women live out inside their own minds…
Are you pining away for or struggling in a relationship with a man who doesn’t get how good you two could be together?
Do you tell yourself that things could be perfect IF ONLY:
- He would get past the fears and doubts of being in a real relationship with you
- He would just admit how much he loves you
- He would leave his wife/girlfriend
- He didn’t live so far away
- He would talk to you about what he really wants and feels
It’s possible that what you’re dealing with is an “Imaginary Relationship.”
This happens when a man is either uncertain about his feelings, or perhaps isn’t feeling or saying exactly what the woman wants to hear.
But YOU feel such a strong and powerful connection that you fill in the gaps the man is leaving with YOUR OWN daydreams and fantasies about what he is really thinking and feeling.
Lots of men have serious problems telling women how they feel about the important things, like what they want in the LONG TERM in a relationship.
It’s just not part of their “emotional language“.
The WORST one of these kinds of men is the one who leaves it all up to the woman to communicate about how she feels and what’s in store for their future.
These kind of men often have a very tough and macho attitude, but their dark secret is that having one foot out the door of a relationship gives them a sense of CONTROL and MASCULINE CONFIDENCE.
I call this kind of guy the Resistant Man.
Combine a Resistant Man’s lack of emotional maturity with a hopeful woman who wants to fill in those silent gaps with her own dreams and desires for the relationship, and you’ve got yourself one heck of an Imaginary Relationship going on that’s headed NOWHERE.
If you’re in this kind of situation with Resistant Man or ANY OTHER kind of man, do yourself a favor.
Don’t try to compensate for his lack of communication or make excuses about why he’s really a great guy but he’s just not committing to you or wanting to be in a relationship with you for whatever reason.
It’s not because he’s got issues and fears to overcome and he’s working them out with you.
It’s not because he needs to admit how he feels about you and stop running away from his real feelings.
It’s not because he just hasn’t “seen the light” of how good you two can be together.
All this is clouding your mind and stopping you from pursuing something more real, with someone who can REALLY love and appreciate you.
If you’re in an Imaginary Relationship, you need to stop and see things for what they really ARE, not what you HOPE they could be.
It’s time to come to terms with why you’re doing so much to try and create the ILLUSION of true love and a great relationship, instead of seeing what’s really in front of you.
Your first and most important step to start living a better truth and finding REAL LOVE is to read this:
Bad Relationship #5) The Self-Destructive Relationship
Are you in a relationship with a man who you know is not right for you, or is even downright abusive toward you, but you can’t seem to leave him?
Do you fear being alone MORE than staying in that unhealthy relationship, so you keep telling yourself you can fix it somehow or just put up with it?
And worst of all, you know that if you were to start over, you’d end up in the same situation with someone else. Because you can’t help but be attracted to “jerks” – men who end up cheating, lying, pushing you away or being too controlling.
Or maybe YOU are the one who always pushes men away or runs at the first sign of commitment because you fear being “smothered” or pressured.
If that’s the case, then the common denominator in all your bad relationships is NOT your uncanny knack for attracting all the wrong men.
It’s something deep inside YOU that is crying out to be acknowledged and healed.
Your insecurities, your fears, and your past issues are all getting in the way of you being happy and finding the RIGHT man and having a healthy, loving relationship.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking the perfect man will finally come around and “fix” all those bad feelings inside you.
I’m telling you honestly, that is NOT going to happen.
What you need is to REALIGN your emotional state with your dreams and beliefs, so that you not only start ATTRACTING the right men and the right situations to yourself, you can do it without too much EFFORT.
Learn exactly how to get back on your own true “path” and get more love, fulfillment and confidence than you ever thought possible.
Read this special letter I wrote about what the biggest self-destructive behaviors are that prevent women from getting the loving, respectful relationship they know they deserve.
It’s all right here:
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.