What does it mean when you meet a man and he flirts with you and you feel a great connection, but he never asks you out on a date?
What does it means when a man doesn’t call when he says he will, or never contacts you again after a particularly “intense” date?
Do men just like to play games or is something else going on here?
It COULD be that he’s simply not available (and he didn’t want to volunteer that information to you)…
Or, it could be that a big part of why he withdraws or acts like he’s lost interest has less to do with “games” and much, much more to do with him feeling that he wasn’t ATTRACTED to you in the way that keeps him pursuing you and wanting to spend time with you.
Sure, at first he was attracted by your looks, the conversation you had, or something along those lines.
But he never developed EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION.
So how can you make sure to attract a man using the RIGHT triggers of emotional attraction instead of just “hoping” he’ll stay interested?
Read about my Natural And Lasting Attraction program right here and find out:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
Have you ever been with a guy where he was open and “real” with you sometimes… but other times he wasn’t even himself and it was like he was playing “games” with you?
And when the “games” pop up more and more…and the real “connections” happen less and less…don’t you get tired of being the one to try and bring you closer or back together?
Why do some men seem to avoid or RESIST any kind of real, authentic emotional exchange?
And how come men can seem more interested in playing out the selfish needs of their ego rather than becoming close with the woman in their life?
If you’re like lots of women I’ve talked to and know, then you’ve felt this way or experienced this kind of thing before.
What’s going on here?
Let’s get right to it and ask the simplest question –
Why do we have to play “games” when it comes to dating, love and relationships?
In response to the question, I’m going to give a two-part answer:
1) The “psychology” of what’s going on here.
2) How to deal with the situation where you feel like a man is playing games, and others like it.
Let me tell you a short story.
The other day I was talking to a woman who was “dating” again after recently breaking up with her boyfriend.
She told me she was tired of the GAMES men play.
This wasn’t the first time I’ve heard a woman say this (I’m sure you’ve heard several women you know say this).
After hearing this, I was curious to know about her experiences and how she saw her own love life, so I invited her to share more…
A few minutes later she was opening up about what happened in her last relationship and the one that ended similarly just before… and she shared in amazing detail a lot of the “why he did this” and “how he said that” information.
I could tell from her intensity that she had spent hours, maybe even days or weeks, piecing together all the aspects of the “games” men had played with her in her mind. (This intense analyzing might sound familiar to you, too.)
And I could also tell that she felt unwillingly pulled into “games” with men… even though she knew she was clear about what she wanted.
She wanted to be past all this with men since she was past it all herself.
And I could tell that she wanted to avoid the UNCERTAINTY and emotional frustration of being around a guy who wasn’t completely AUTHENTIC.
She was tired of the games and felt like she wouldn’t be able to take it if she put herself “out there” with a guy again, sharing her heart.
Give me a silent nod if any of this sounds familiar.
To make a long story short… she explained a lot about her love life, but there was something FASCINATING she was communicating that was more significant than what she was saying.
She had developed a BELIEF that there was something wrong with men… and that men just weren’t capable of being as, what you might say, “real” with a woman in a relationship.
You probably have a friend or two who’s this way, so you know what I’m talking about.
They have this belief about men that is so deeply rooted inside them, and the way they view the world, that they can’t see it in themselves no matter how you try to tell them.
And here’s where I want to share something important that I started to realize several years ago… something that has to do with human behavior and psychology in general.
Lots of us have what I call our own “Subconscious Questions.”
These are things in life we don’t even realize that we don’t understand or are unclear about…and so we constantly run into situations where we are seeking answers on an subconscious level but our conscious minds aren’t able to see the lessons or hear the answers that could help us.
An example of one of these questions might be, “Why is the world so unfair or unbalanced when it comes to money and material wealth?”
And this is actually an important question to ask yourself CONSCIOUSLY if you have any significant career or financial goals ahead of you.
But someone asking this “Subconscious Question” in their life might be likely to play out this question in their mind by becoming angry or resentful of their boss or employer… even though they chose to accept the job and the pay, and stopped looking for something better.
You get the idea.
So how does this relate to men, dating and relationships?
Let’s get back to the conversation I had with the woman who was tired of games… and let’s look at her Subconscious Questions about men.
During our conversation, a few things became clear and I started to see one of her Subconscious Questions –
“Why do men have to play games?”
Once I got to this question, everything I heard from her became crystal clear.
Each thing she said, even though it described a different event or situation in her past, was really still about trying to find an answer to this same question.
When she talked about the past, and about what went wrong, it was really all about this.
And when she thought about her future, and what to do differently in her next relationship, her mind set was still all about her Subconscious Question.
Of course, at other times she posed the same Subconscious Question, only in a slightly different way through what she said –
“Are men even CAPABLE of being open and REAL with a woman in a relationship?”
Or when she started talking and thinking about herself, the more personal version of the question came up –
“Are men even CAPABLE of having an open, real and lasting relationship with ME?”
The point here is… the Subconscious Question that you ask can largely shape the way that you see the world and respond to it.
Like the old saying says, “If you’re a hammer, everything is a nail.”
So what if you think that men play a lot of games?
If you can start to become CONSCIOUS of the BELIEFS that you have… such as the ones that often are formed from NEGATIVE experiences in our lives with people… then guess what?
You have an opportunity to create CHANGE and GROWTH in your life.
You can work with what you have control of in your life… YOURSELF.
And you can start to feel more comfortable and confident in letting go of what you can’t control-other people… such as men who play “games.”
If you haven’t already asked yourself in your mind yet, I want you to do something right now…
I want you to think about what YOUR Subconscious Questions might be at this moment when it comes to men, dating and relationships.
Start by reflecting on anything that you feel is unresolved or frustrating to you…
Then try to picture the situation or person (man) who’s related to these feelings.
Put yourself in that situation right now and allow yourself to feel all those feelings.
And now… if you had to boil what it is you are looking for or want to feel, experience or learn down to ONE QUESTION – what would it be?
I’ll give you a minute.
Now, write down at least one of the Questions you came up with. I want you to keep this Question in mind and turn it into a Conscious Question that you start to take hold of in your life.
A great place to start identifying your own Questions… and putting together your own answers when it comes to men, dating and relationships is my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program.
This program will not only shed light on whether or not a man is actually playing “games” or not, but will help you identify the common MYTHS about men in general that are forming a Subconscious Question or Statement in your mind each time you interact with a man.
For example, what if deep-down you tell yourself these things about men when you’re in a relationship:
— Men are not trustworthy and will cheat.
— Men don’t really want relationships, they just want to date endlessly.
— Men just want “easy” relationships with no responsibility.
— Men are lazy and get bored easily when it comes to dating.
Do you recognize a few of your own Subconscious Beliefs from that list? You do? Hmmm.. not good.
Once you start to see your own Questions clearly EVERYTHING will quickly start to come together and you’ll start to see the world and your relationships with men in a brand new way.
Not only will you “see” that you’ve been filtering all your experiences through beliefs that were WRONG about men, but you’ll see how your beliefs were actually changing your EXPERIENCE with men.
So save yourself TONS of time and energy that could be wasted NOT understanding what’s going on inside the mind of a man… and help him have an easier time hearing and understanding you.
Order my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program and start to CLEARLY see the truth about whether or not men play games, or if it’s a basic misunderstanding you have about men and their psychology.
I promise you, you won’t be disappointed with what you find out.
You can order your trial copy today and be benefiting from it in DAYS by going here:
WHAT IT MEANS WHEN A MAN IS PLAYING GAMES
Why do you think a man plays games with a woman?
Does he do it because he’s “messed up”?
Does he do it because he’s emotionally incapable of doing otherwise?
I want you to take a minute right now to try seeing things from a new perspective…
There’s no such thing as “games.”
If you haven’t realized it, or you just don’t believe it yet, “games” are a sign of INSECURITY.
In other words, the behavior you see with games is most often a function of some kind of FEAR or lack of AWARENESS that the person playing the games has.
For men these fears or insecurities might include:
– Fear of Rejection (a man will keep from sharing his feelings for a woman for fear that she will change her mind about him once she finds out who he really is)
– Fear of Insignificance (a man being afraid that a woman won’t like him or wouldn’t want to be with him without the money, power or “success”)
– Fear of Intimacy (a man being afraid of what will happen to him emotionally if he gets truly close to a woman and let’s her get close to him)
Some of these fears are so intense inside men that they literally build their lives around ways to avoid these fears.
What would you do if you had an intense fear like this that wouldn’t go away?
Right… you’d try to hide your fear or what you think you lack by OVERCOMPENSATING.
A man who fears rejection might never put himself in the position to be turned down by a woman by never being direct and upfront with her.
A man who fears that he’s insignificant might try and make sure he had all the “success” and power BEFORE he ever thought to have any kind of committed long term relationship with a woman.
A man who is afraid of intimacy might become scared emotionally when he starts getting close to a woman and pull away, not because she’s doing something “wrong”… but because the more open and loving and emotionally available she is to him,
the more afraid he becomes of the emotional connection and ATTACHMENT.
With all this, there’s a common mistake I see TONS of women make when it comes to how they respond to men who play “games”…
Lots of women become wrapped up in the games because they don’t recognize these fears which are being masked, and so they end up accidentally giving the man a false sense of power.
And this false sense of power usually has to do with believing that the man is the only one who has THE POWER TO CHOOSE whether a relationship will last or not.
Think about it for a second…
When a man starts playing “games”, do you ever get so freaked out that you spend hours trying to figure out why he’s acting this way and what to do about it?
And do you ever find yourself trying to “coach” a man, or get him to see what he’s doing and how it affects your relationship?
Here’s why this is most often not only a waste of your time and his… but why it’s also often COUNTERPRODUCTIVE (actually pushes you farther apart instead of bringing you closer).
When a man has a fear or an issue that is at the cause of why he plays “games”… the way he acts and how his fears play out are mostly a “blind spot.”
Like in your car’s rear view mirror where another car can be right behind you in the other lane and you look but you don’t see a thing.
Behavior that is driven by fear… or, for a man, more specifically his fears when it comes to women and the subtle “power” they can hold in his life… is usually in a man’s blind spot.
So when you start to think about the games a man is playing, why he’s doing it, and where it comes from… and after spending lots of time on these thoughts, you arrive at your own insights… it still doesn’t mean that the man is going to be able to hear you or understand what you see.
It’s still in his “blind spot” where his conscious thought hasn’t looked yet.
But lots of women are convinced that if they just spend enough time pointing out what they are able to see, that he’ll be able to do what most people find difficult to begin with – to step outside themselves and see themselves as others see them.
I don’t have to tell you that this rarely works in relationships… unless you have a more conscious or evolved partner where you both communicate to each other on this kind of level already.
In fact, for most women, when they try to pull apart the games a man plays (get at his fears and try to help or dismantle them), or point out a man’s blind spots… the result is the OPPOSITE of what they’re looking for.
The man often shuts down, withdraws and becomes RESISTANT.
In other words, he becomes less open to hearing about himself and sharing with a woman.
Now, is this how it is with all men when it comes to “games”?
Don’t some men play games on a more conscious and maybe even a “manipulative” level?
Of course some men do.
But these men usually stand out very quickly.
Women often intuitively know if a man is playing games for these kinds of reasons… or if he’s a “Player.”
And a woman’s friends are usually even quicker to point out a man who’s in this place or acting this way.
Don’t waste your time here… just call it like you see it and worry about what matters – staying in a healthy state of your own. You’ll be amazed at how a man will respond when you’re “grounded” and give him the space to look at his own behavior.
GETTING RID OF THE “GAMES” IN YOUR LOVE LIFE
Right now it’s time for you to continue your personal growth…
It’s time to evolve in the areas of life where you can create positive GROWTH and awareness-
Of course, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with YOURSELF.
Your relationship with yourself all comes down to your own level of CONSCIOUSNESS and AWARENESS.
We’ve just touched the surface of raising your consciousness around a small specific area – how men play games and why they do it.
If you keep the idea in your mind that it’s not all about manipulation for a man, but about RESISTANCE that comes from his own FEAR… and recognize that you have fears of your own that feed off of his… then you’re going to be MUCH better off when it comes to creating and sharing the experiences you want with him.
If you want to DRAMATICALLY raise your level of understanding and awareness around men, dating and relationships… and learn exactly how to communicate in a way that will bring a man close to you, while avoiding the resistance so many other women come up against… then check out my Natural & Lasting Attraction CD/DVD program.
Inside this program I go deep into the reasons why a man will play games with a woman, what these games look like, and how to not get caught up in them.
Often times, knowing what to do when a man’s acting distant, and knowing the common mistakes to avoid doing, will make most of the game playing simply go away.
There is a way to create the kind of deep EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with a man that will let him know he never has to play games with you.
And wouldn’t it be great to get to that place where you knew, with CERTAINTY, that you could bring out a more AUTHENTIC, AWARE, and EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED man… instead of accidentally feeding the common patterns of distance, withdrawal and misunderstanding?
Then it’s time to check out my new Natural & Lasting Attraction program. It holds the keys to creating a connection with a man on both a physical and emotional level that’s so strong you’ll no longer be the one trying to hold it all together in your relationship.
He will be there with you, making sure you are there with him, so you can continue to share passion and chemistry in the future.
I want you to go to the link below and watch video clips and samples from my program and tell me what you think.
I’m so confident that you’re going to get AMAZING real-world results, not only when it comes to men and relationships, but in the rest of your personal life, that I’m going to let you try out my program for free.
Here’s what I’ll do for you…
I’ll ship you your copy of the program and let you have a full 30 days to work with the ideas, strategies, exercises and insights in it.
Take a entire month to decide if it’s more than worth it for you and see if it helps you create what you’re looking for in your love life.
If you’re not COMPLETELY happy with everything you get out of the program after 30 days, then simply send the program back to me and you’ll pay NOTHING.
End of story.
After helping literally thousands of other women in these aspects of their love lives and with men… and receiving their emails telling me about all the juicy and amazing details of how their single life or relationship has been TRANSFORMED… I know you can have the same thing happen for you.
So go here right now and take that next step towards growth and awareness in your life.
Start living the love life you know is possible.
Natural and Lasting Attraction
I’ll talk to you again soon… and until then best of luck in life and love!
P.S. And if you haven’t downloaded my eBook, it’s a great place to start with your new learning and awareness about men. Especially when it comes to understanding how to communicate with a man and building the right foundation for a lasting and intimate relationship.
You can download your copy and be reading it in just a few minutes from now if you go here:
Brendan Jovel says
For a personal ad that gets results – Be positive – You might be lonely and miserable, but you have to not let that come out in your personal ad. Also do not come across as too full of oneself. Let your good qualities show through.
Lindsey Campise says
Making a Great personal ad – Show who you genuinely are – If you have an excellent sense of humour, don’t just tell folks that you’re funny prove it within your ad. Be realistic. Most people don’t appear like film stars, most of whom don’t look so good in genuine life either. So manage your expectations on what the person you are going to meet on the web is going to look like.