I’ve got a fascinating story for you.
Tell me if it sounds familiar…
You’re hanging out talking with some friends, when all of a sudden the conversation turns to a common topic – love and relationships.
And each woman at the table starts talking about the situation she’s in and all the amazing things about it.
At first you’re enjoying the stories and you’re happy for your friends.
But then it hits you…
You are the only person there who ISN’T in an on-going, positive relationship.
Everyone else at the table has someone in their life whom they’re excited and optimistic about.
Everyone else has something “real.”
Everyone except you.
You’re ALONE… and that guy you’ve been seeing recently…well, he doesn’t cut it.
So you stop for a second and think,
“Maybe it’s me…”
“Maybe it’s not all because of the way men are, but how I am. That explains why I don’t have real love in my life.”
As you think about this for a second, you can’t help but feel a little lonely all of a sudden, and a small twinge of sadness wells up inside.
But as these feelings start to grow, you know inside that you deserve better, and you wish the feeling would just go away.
But it doesn’t… and the last thing you want to do is “go there” in front of your friends.
Especially since they just got through telling all of their great stories.
You don’t want them to know how you really feel right now… and you wish this feeling and problem would just go away.
You think to yourself:
“Why does love and a relationship with a man have to be so difficult?”
“If only men weren’t so difficult to be with.”
But then your “protective” side kicks in, and you start fighting these feelings and tell yourself:
“I don’t need a man.”
“I’m happy with my life as it is.”
“I’m happy to be single and focus on myself right now, instead of wasting my time and energy in a dead-end situation with a man.”
“Men are all screwed up and trouble anyways, and I don’t need that in my life right now.”
Ahhhh… it starts to work and you calm down and regain your “cool.”
But somewhere deep down inside, you know why you felt sad –
Seeing all your friends happy in their love lives reminded you of something…
For all the reasons you have to be happy, and all the ways you can convince other people (and yourself) that you’re fulfilled, you REALLY DO want something much, much better.
You want a REAL CONNECTION.
You want to share REAL LOVE and BE LOVED.
And you wonder how long you can avoid the reality that these things are MISSING from your life by staying busy and taking care of other areas of life.
You know you can’t go on this way forever.
Something has to change.
There HAS to be something better out there for you. Or else what’s it all for?
But then you remember…
It’s been months, maybe even years, since you’ve actually made the time and space in your life to meet and connect with the kind of man who could bring great things back into your love life.
And in fact, the idea of “getting out there” and dating sounds like a complete and utter NIGHTMARE.
Sitting through a date listening to some bozo, who has no idea how to really connect with you, ramble on about himself, would just make you feel even more hopeless and alone.
So you’ve basically shut out of your life, the idea of dating and going out with men, for more than friendship.
But then how are you supposed to meet and connect with a great guy?
And how did EVERYONE ELSE around you manage to become CLOSE and COMMITTED with a good guy, while you’re having an impossible time finding a guy who isn’t totally clueless?
Do they know something you don’t?
Are you just UNLUCKY in love… and not meant to have a great relationship for yourself?
Are they somehow more attractive than you are?
Why does it have to be so difficult or such a “game”?
You go home that day, feeling more depressed than ever.
***End of story**
Ok, I know I got a little “heavy” on you there, but it’s for your own good.
The things this fictional woman was experiencing and feeling was a collection of common fears and beliefs about men and dating.
It had to do with what’s called “limiting beliefs.” things that aren’t true, but that are holding you back from experiencing the truth.
If you identified with a few of these thoughts this fictional woman was having then I want you to recognize something…
Some women have VERY FEW of these negative and limiting thoughts.
While other women have TONS.
I’m talking 10, 20, 30 and 50 thoughts a day here.
And how do you suppose that changes you when you’re sitting around feeling negative all the time?
Let’s try something new today – an exercise.
Take a second and imagine something for me…
Imagine a woman who is in a troubled relationship with a man.
Something happened to make her doubt that their relationship was going to make her happy, or last.
Imagine she’s sitting around thinking negative thoughts about him all day, everyday. Here are some of the thoughts she may be having:
“He’s a jerk. I should just break it off.”
“I can’t believe he just did that or said that.”
“He’ll never make me happy.”
“I’m tired of feeling so lousy all the time.”
“It’s hopeless.”
Now pretend that the guy she’s with is trying to patch things up and make things better between them.
Now, I want you to answer a question for me –
How will all of her negative thoughts affect how she interacts with her guy?
Did they help guide her to positive and constructive communication that brought them CLOSER together?
Or will they tend to make communication with him MORE DIFFICULT and create DISTANCE?
I’m sure you came up with all kinds of fascinating insights and realizations, but here’s what I want you to see here…
Communicating from a place of fear and insecurity with a man will more often create DISTANCE between you, unless the guy you’re with is ALREADY an expert at communicating and dealing with these things himself.
If only men were experts when it came to having open, lasting relationships and communicating in ways that would bring you closer, right?
Wouldn’t that be nice.
Well, the truth is men are RARELY experts in this stuff.
That’s why it’s probably up to YOU.
He’s not going to make it work FOR YOU.
In fact, the reality is that as you are first becoming close with a man, he’s more likely to trigger your own fears than to help resolve them.
I’m not telling you about this right now just because I’m trying to teach you some “mumbo jumbo” about how thoughts, energy and intention work together…
…which they do.
But for another simple reason –
There’s something you can do right now to DRAMATICALLY improve the level of connection and intimacy you have in your love life.
It all starts in one place.
Paying attention to HOW YOU THINK.
On a basic level, your own patterns of THINKING and FEELING lead to the ACTIONS you take and the BEHAVIOR you display.
And guess what can create a “negative filter” on your THINKING and FEELINGS?
FEAR.
And if you’re finding that your actions and behaviors aren’t “naturally” attracting good men and creating healthy long term relationships…then you’ve got something to look at right now –
Fear is one of the most destructive emotions we must overcome in order to experience true love and connection.
If you find yourself feeling anxious about the future, worrying about how your relationship will turn out, or just sitting around feeling hopeless about being single, then you need to read about my “Ready For Love” program.
I developed this program to help you conquer your fears and anxiety about love and relationships once and for all:
GETTING PAST FEAR, “CONNECTING” ON A DEEP LEVEL, AND MAKING MEN ADDICTED TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP…
Ok, let’s get to some real ANSWERS here.
What do you DO when you have negative, fearful, limiting thoughts and situations going on in your mind that are affecting your love life?
Well, I’m not going to tell you that all women who are single or in “dead-end” relationships are in that place in their life JUST BECAUSE they think and feel in “fear-based” and “self-limiting” ways.
But do the math.
What kind of women do you think men “naturally” gravitate towards?
What kind of women do you think men “instinctively” feel good when they’re around, even if they don’t know why?
Right again.
Women who are in CONTROL of their own fears and emotions when it comes to men, dating and relationships.
Why?
It’s NOT because feelings and emotions are themselves bad…
Feelings and emotions are probably the most beautiful part of what makes us human and allows us to experience the world in a deep and meaningful way.
But, what I’m talking about here are NEGATIVE feelings, which, more often than not, lead to NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES.
And women who are in CONTROL of their EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES know how to consistently create more POSITIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES with men.
On one level, it really is that simple.
In practice, it’s much harder.
The truth is that men are attracted to one woman and not another largely because of the way that one woman makes them FEEL.
And NOT because of what logically sound qualities each person and the relationship has.
ATTRACTION and CONNECTION have their own “logic”.
I’ll say it again so you can really hear it this time –
A man is attracted to a woman and wants to be with her, and only her, because of the way he FEELS when he’s around her.
And not for any other reason.
Not even if the women is the most loving, caring, sweet, generous, and intelligent woman in the world.
And to make this even more clear, let me tell you what this DOESN’T mean…
It DOESN’T mean that a man wants to be with a woman because he VALUES having a relationship just for the sake of having one.
Or that a woman can be so good to a man and do so many loving and generous things for him that he recognizes the LOGICAL value of staying with her and makes the “right” decision.
Feelings and emotions have their own logic, which has NOTHING to do with what makes “sense” or what is “fair.”
And the sooner you accept this as true about men, the easier EVERYTHING in your love life and relationship will become.
CREATING A DEEP LEVEL OF “EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION” THAT WILL LEAD TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIP
So how do you make a man FEEL when he’s around you?
What are the conscious and subconscious emotional reactions and responses he’s likely to have with you, based on your emotions and your behavior?
Take a minute and think about it.
..
..
Here’s the bottom line…
A woman who can communicate to a man on a deeper level that she’s AWARE and IN CONTROL of her own experience and “emotional” state will make a man feel INTENSE ATTRACTION for her on that same emotional level.
She’s an “emotionally attractive” woman, which can tell a man all kinds of things about her BEYOND the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION and interest he might have.
On the other hand…
Women who DON’T have a handle on these things have quite a different effect on men –
These women can still usually make men feel PHYSICAL ATTRACTION… but they often set off all kinds of conscious and subconscious “warning signals” in a man’s mind.
Signals that then become FEELINGS and EMOTIONS inside the man that tell him to RUN.
And under no circumstance commit himself and attach his emotional experience to hers.
Here’s the strangest part about women who send off these “warning signals” to men…
Most women do this largely BY ACCIDENT.
That’s right. Lots of women actually trigger negative responses inside a man’s mind while doing things they think are FOR THE GOOD of the relationship.
How’s that for COUNTERPRODUCTIVE?
And hey… I know it might bother you to hear some of what I’m saying… and that you probably have been more caring and generous with your thoughts and emotions in your past situations with men than they were with you.
I get that.
But someone needs to tell you how men really and truly think when it comes to women and relationships.
And of course men have their own specialized set of “baggage” and fears too.
But let me ask you…
What do you know, FROM EXPERIENCE, will happen if a man doesn’t deal with his own fears about women and relationships?
DISASTER.
I’m talking withdrawal, break-ups, cheating, lying, etc.
The list goes on.
But if a guy takes the time and develops the “emotional maturity” to think about the negative and limiting fears HE HAS about women and relationships…
And finds a healthy level of AWARENESS and CONTROL around these…
Then this is the kind of guy that women will “naturally” be drawn to and enjoy being with.
If you’re interested in learning more about what I call “Emotional Attraction” – which is the kind of attraction and desire in a man that goes BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then I’d suggest you go check out my “Natural and Lasting Attraction” CD/DVD program.
This program is the world’s first complete guide and reference on how to create both that initial “connection” and LASTING LONG-TERM ATTRACTION…
All while showing you how to deal with all of the common relationship-ending obstacles you’ll run into with men, and within yourself, along the way.
Inside this 7-hour program, I cover such topics as:
- Psychological foundations of how and why a man becomes connected and attracted to a woman for a lasting relationship
- Exactly what to do in the frustrating situation where you start getting closer and more connected with a man, but then he starts to withdraw and act MORE DISTANT as time goes on.
- And more.
By the way, the material in this program is all NEW MATERIAL that wasn’t covered in my eBook, if you’ve already read it.
But let me ask you…
Wouldn’t it be great to know the specific emotional and verbal “strategies” of women, who seem to effortlessly and “naturally” attract men, are?
You know what I’m talking about here.
These are the women who aren’t as smart, pretty or even as sweet or generous as you are, but for some reason, they attract and keep men like crazy.
Why is that?
Well, in this program I’ll explain why. I’ll also get deep into these areas and teach you how to keep that deep level of connection and intimacy growing with a man – in a way that will have HIM initiating the growth, too.
That way it’s not always you feeling like you have to “drive” your relationship to get where you’re going.
You’ll know how to help him “take the wheel” too… and love every minute of it.
I also focus on the common negative or counterproductive “strategies” that LOTS of women take on when things don’t seem to be moving forward.
Seeing these common negative strategies, learning where they come from, and figuring out how to avoid them is CRITICAL.
Knowing exactly what NOT TO DO will bring you the CLARITY you’ve been looking for with men, and save you tons of wasted time and energy in your love life.
Here’s the thing…
I spent a good portion of this program focusing on helping you to identify YOUR OWN specific fears and frustrations with men and relationships that are holding you back right now –
Some of which I’ve already had you take a short look at here.
Inside this program I walk you through powerful guided exercises to help you clearly recognize your own important “trouble spots.”
Then I show you how to immediately turn them into POSITIVE action steps and INSTANTLY change your old relationship and communication patterns into positive results and outcomes.
But you don’t have to listen to me – some GUY telling you all this.
You can watch REAL VIDEOS of REAL WOMEN – who experienced this program live – tell you their stories and what they got out of the program as a woman.
Follow the link below, go to the bottom of the page, watch the videos there… and let me know what you think:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
I’m so sure you’re going to get MASSIVE RESULTS and take your love life, perspective, and AWARENESS to the next level with this program that I’ll do something special here…
I’m going to let you try out the program for 30 days without paying a thing.
Zero.
I’ll ship you your copy of the CDs or DVDs for you to work with for 30 whole days.
If you don’t get everything you thought you’d get out of the program and more, simply let me know and you won’t pay a thing.
So what do you have to lose?
Not much.
But what you have to gain could mean everything to your future love life and relationship.
Natural and Lasting Attraction
And if you haven’t taken the time to go and download my online eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him“, then you need to do that immediately.
You can download it right now, and be reading it in literally MINUTES. It will teach you a TON about how to “get inside a man’s mind.” In fact, the entire first section of the book is all about helping you to truly understand where a man is coming from, and how to work WITH HIM and not AGAINST HIM in your situation.
So many women make their own lives and relationships harder than they need to be by not learning the basic foundations of how men view love, connection, attraction and relationships.
Go download it here:
Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download
And best of luck in life and love!
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
Bob Welongewits says
This article is extremely relevant. Being a man in a relationship where I often feel the desire to RUN, all of your information is SPOT ON! If my girlfriend were more confident in herself and independent I would be much more attracted to her. Don’t get me wrong. I have my flaws too but her neediness and clinginess drive me crazy. Note to women: this guy knows what he’s talking about.