Do you ever find that your boyfriend or husband doesn’t listen?
Oh, and that he doesn’t talk much to you either.
Which leaves you to wonder… if he doesn’t talk or listen, how in the world are you supposed to have a real relationship?
By using sign language?
The truth is, men are often bad at, or don’t get the importance of opening up and sharing their feelings in relationships.
And that goes for paying attention to and listening and caring for your needs and feelings too.
And the most frustrating part is… men are often especially bad at talking or wanting to talk when it’s most important to you as a woman.
Like when things are tense and emotional, and the stakes are high in your relationship.
Don’t let this unnecessarily tear apart your relationship… when creating the level of connection, sharing and talking you need can be as easy as starting with just a few of the right words.
Do you know what it is you can say to your man that will take him from his most closed off to him begging to share more about how he thinks and feels with you?
Hint- it’s NOT about using a whole lot of fancy words.
It’s the few simple right words that will make all the difference.
If you’re tired of the UNCERTAINTY and DOUBT that comes from not knowing how the man in your life really feels…
And you’d like to create a deeper level of UNDERSTANDING in the way you and your boyfriend connect and COMMUNICATE…
Then it’s time you knew the SECRETS of how to become the one woman a man will finally want to open up to and never stop sharing himself with by reading my secrets to communicating with a man in a relationship right HERE:
There are 3 elements every relationship needs if it’s going to LAST.
Do you know what these 3 critical elements are?
I’ll give you a second to think about it.
The 3 critical elements that you MUST HAVE between you and a man if you want a loving, lasting, and secure relationship are:
Element #1 – An Intense Level Of Attraction
Call it “chemistry“.
Call it a spark.
Call it whatever you like… but if a man doesn’t “feel it” for you when it comes to this magic something of chemistry and attraction…then NOTHING ELSE you say or do will matter.
And I mean NOTHING ELSE matters.
You can try and say all the right things.
You can think about him all the time.
And you can do amazing things for him that no other woman could ever know to do for him in his life…
But if that gut-level ATTRACTION isn’t there that tells him deep down inside that he HAS to be with you tonight and every other night… then there isn’t much you can do to change his mind or make him feel differently and really and truly want you.
A man MUST feel a level of attraction for you that goes DEEPER than just the common and “Physical Attraction” a man can experience for a woman that quickly comes and goes, but can seem so “real”.
Unfortunately, lots of women make 2 mistakes when it comes to attraction with men that keep them from ever being able to get past those critical early dating stages where a man will become more emotionally attached and involved with a woman.
These 2 mistakes are:
- Trying to get a man’s interest and attention by using the fast, fun, and easy approach to create “Physical Attraction” inside a man (which never does last)
- Not knowing how that deeper level of what I call “Emotional Attraction” works inside a man’s mind that will make him want to emotionally open up and engage with you
These mistakes are the two most common and certain ways to make sure your love life will go nowhere fast with men… even when you have the best of intentions and just want to find a great guy to love and love you back.
There’s a simple truth you need to know…
If you don’t know how attraction works for a man, and how it works differently than how it works for most women… then you’re going to end up running in circles trying to do what you think will work.
And in your attempts at getting a man to like you and want to be with you… you’re going to end up pushing him away as he sees you as desperate, “needy”, clingy, or just plain overly emotional.
The worst part is, there are a lot of smart women out there who are really great women who actually know on a conscious level about these mistakes… but they just can’t help but make these same mistakes over and over anyway.
But smart women who seem to have a more natural knack for talking to men, getting their interest, and having men see them as “cool” and desirable have a way of being able to AVOID these mistakes and are NEVER seen as desperate, too needy, or generally UNATTRACTIVE when it comes to how they act and feel on an emotional level around men.
Here’s some tips on how any woman can learn and become a “natural” at creating that deeper and more LASTING ATTRACTION with a man:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
Element #2 – “Emotional Engagement”
I probably don’t have to tell you that most men, when you’re in a relationship with them, won’t be constantly seeking to know about and understand how you feel.
Although it would be nice if your man would be this way.
Instead, most men start to actually TUNE OUT the woman they’re with when they start to sense or see a lot of emotions they don’t understand.
It’s most men’s natural response.
To withdraw from intense emotions that can lead to conflict with a woman.
Knowing this, are you accidentally helping your man to withdraw from you?
Think about it for a second.
Now, let me ask you…
Do you know what it is that either makes a man open up and be excited to really LISTEN to you and UNDERSTAND what you’re feeling and going through… or shut down when he sees how you’re feeling inside?
And do you know what makes a man see your desire to talk and share your feelings as evidence that you’re emotionally unhealthy and the kind of woman who would only be more trouble and irritation than she’s worth?
Here’s something that might blow your mind…
Did you know that you can say the exact SAME THING to a man at different times, and you’ll get completely different responses from him?
And this isn’t just because of his mood.
The reality is that there is one significant thing that makes all the difference in the world when it comes to how a man sees, feels, and RESPONDS to the way you talk and share with him…
And that’s the level to which he is EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED with you when you’re talking.
Let me explain…
One of the most common ways that women end up accidentally causing a man to close off and WITHDRAW from them is when a man doesn’t know about, see, or understand what a women is going through and feeling…
And then the woman gets MORE UPSET and frustrated with him at the fact that he doesn’t seem to see or respond to her, and so SHE closes off.
I know this is something you’ve experienced over and over with men (and made some of the same mistakes again and again in each situation)
Something happens between you and a man, and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach you just can’t ignore.
You know that something is “off” and not right… and it sends your intuition and your imagination running.
As the flood of emotions hit you, and you FEEL what’s going on throughout your body, you want the man to both see and understand why you would feel this way…
And you want him to UNDERSTAND you and the way that you’re feeling.
Of course, this isn’t at all what most men are going through in their emotional process.
They’re often thinking… “I have NO IDEA why she’s acting this way, or what it’s about, but I don’t like it and it feels awful. What is her problem? And why is she freaking out so much. What a nightmare. I want this to go away.”
Long story short, what started off as a misunderstanding and a situation where you simply didn’t feel good about something in the moment, and you wanted him to see it and respond… turned out to be something that caused a huge DISCONNECT between you two.
And your emotional experiences led both you AND him to feel distant and frustrated with each other in a way that kept you from being able to be close and feel ENGAGED in your feelings together.
Of course, on the other hand, if you know how to COMMUNICATE with a man… and you know how to get him to LISTEN and RESPOND to you in a positive way that shows that he hears and APPRECIATES your feelings…
Then these entire situations actually become moments where you and a man GROW CLOSER and learn more amazing things about each other that build your love and attraction.
Here’s a great thing to read if you want to learn more about communicating with a man and the process of “Emotionally Engaging” with him:
Element #3 – “Effortless Communication”
How hard is it to talk to your boyfriend?
Is it harder than you know it should be?
At the core of a healthy relationship is the trust and knowledge by both partners that the other is going to listen with patience and respect…
And that there’s enough trust so that it’s OK to share the truth of what’s really happening in each others lives.
If you don’t have open communication, then you by definition don’t have HONESTY.
And if you don’t have honesty, you by definition don’t have a relationship that you can count on as secure and “connected.”
Here’s something that you might be going through if you’re not experiencing the level of open honesty you know your relationship needs…
Do you ever sit there and realize that you and your man share less with each other than you probably share with your friends about how you’re both thinking and feeling inside?
Are you ever scared to say what you REALLY think and feel to the man in your life?
And have you ever found out about things that are going on for a man that you’re with and what’s going on in your relationship from someone else who hardly knows him?
Isn’t a man supposed to be closer, more open, and more honest with you than anyone else about what’s going on for him in your relationship with you?
The answer is yes, he is.
You’re supposed to be able to be closer and more open and honest with the man in your life than with anyone else.
But for lots of women it just doesn’t work this way.
Oftentimes you, as the girlfriend, are the VERY LAST person to find out what’s REALLY going on inside the mind of the man you’re with.
And it’s enough to make you want to scream.
Not to mention the embarrassment that you feel realizing that everyone else might have known what was going on with him but you… and they just sat there and watched and said nothing.
It can make you feel like a real fool.
But how is it that other couples, and other women have men and relationships in their lives where the man they’re with can and does tell them ANYTHING and EVERYTHING going on with him first… and shares and confides in them as close and loving partners are supposed to?
Well, I have to be the one to break the bad news to you…
But if you haven’t had this kind of open, honest, and “effortless” communication between you and your man in the past where you can and do tell each other anything…
Or you don’t have it now…
Then guess who’s fault that is?
It’s YOUR FAULT.
Period. End of story.
Because you, and only you, have the power and the responsibility to create your relationship and make it what you want.
Especially if you’re the one who’s more “tuned in” to what might be a problem around communication in your relationship.
Want to know something fascinating that makes life and relationships a whole lot easier?
*Good communication attracts and inspires good communication in return.
Or to say it another way…
If you’re not having the kind of open and honest connection with your man that you want and need, then you have to start to realize that the only measure of how well YOU are communicating is the RESPONSE that you get.
It’s tough to accept at first, and it feels unfair when your boyfriend isn’t doing his part…
But once you take RESPONSIBILITY for bringing the right words and the right kind of talking and sharing into your relationship…
Your relationship will instantly shift all on it’s own – simply because you’ve brought more of what your relationship needs.
So here’s the question…
Can you take 100% responsibility for the way you communicate to the man in your life?
Or are you still wrapped up in blaming him, trying to show him how he’s hurting you, or with reacting to what you think is wrong rather than trying to get to what is right?
I’ll give you a second to think about what you and the way your talking and reacting to your man is bringing into your relationship.
Now, if you’ve had several relationships in your life where the level of communication you shared was AWFUL, and you found out about all the important things going on inside your man’s mind after the fact when it was too late and you were breaking up…
Then here’s your wake-up call.
There’s something I’ve learned in my life that I’ve practiced myself, and that I’ve watched literally hundreds and thousands of women use to turn their love life around almost overnight…
And that’s one simple thing-
Taking 100% PERSONAL RESPONSIBILTY for creating the kind of COMMUNICATION you want and have in your relationship.
Communication IS the RESPONSE you get.
Read that again. It couldn’t be more important.
Communication IS the RESPONSE you get.
In other words, the thing that really and truly matters – if you care about having the kind of understanding and emotional exchange that you want – is helping the man you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings with actually “get” what you’re saying.
And if you can do that, and spend just a little time helping him understand you… then you’re literally HUNDREDS of times more likely to get the RESULT you want from sharing your thoughts and feelings in the first place.
(Often times the RESULT you’re probably looking for is to simply to feel UNDERSTOOD)
So let me ask you…
What do you think would happen if you decided today to take 100% responsibility for the way in which you communicate and share the very thoughts that sneak up on you and make you feel frustrated and upset?
Would he respond in a new and different way?
I think you’d be surprised to find out how he would respond… and I KNOW you’d like what you found.
One of the challenges when we’re in a great relationship is that there is SOOOOO much intense emotional stuff happening inside us that our minds end up literally SWIMMING in ideas and emotions.
And because we know exactly how each of the things that is going on looks and feels for us inside our own head… we make the terrible mistake of thinking that with a few simple words in conversation that the person we’re experiencing these feelings with will instantly “get it” and understand where we’re coming from.
If you think about it and you’re honest…even YOU don’t know and understand all the feelings, emotions, and thoughts that are going through your head.
Point being… this mistake of assuming that a man will have an easy time hearing and understanding you if he would just stop and listen to you is made 10 times worse by the fact that men aren’t often trying to RELATE to what you’re thinking and feeling anyway.
Instead, their mind is somewhere else completely and not focused on relating and understanding at that time.
Especially if you haven’t taken the time to ENGAGE HIM on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL to help him get in touch with his and your feelings.
What do men often do instead of relating to you and understanding you?
They try to SOLVE the “problem” they think is going on that’s making you feel things so intensely in the first place…
Or they’re trying to get away from the intense feelings and emotions you’re going through in the first place… because they don’t understand them… or they’re not in the mental and emotional place to take them in and talk to you about them.
There’s a SECRET about how to get a man in the right mental and emotional place where he’ll naturally want to listen, share, and connect with you on a more open emotional level.
And that’s by creating what I call an Emotional Engagement with a man.
Doing this can be as simple as rubbing the back of a man’s neck gently with your hands as he sinks into a feeling of connection and affection with you…
Or it can be as difficult as trying to explain to him over and over what’s going on in your relationship that’s causing problems… and having him not want to listen or talk to you anymore.
If you want to learn the secret to creating this kind of “Emotional Engagement” with a man… and do it quickly and any time you like simply by shifting a few small things about the way you actually talk and communicate with him…then you need to check out this letter I’ve written about how to do this.
If you’re ready to leave the dead-end patterns of misunderstanding, withdrawal, and not having a man seem to listen or care about your feelings, then you need to check out my “Communication Secrets For A Secure Relationship” program right now.
This program has already taught literally thousands of other women this essential “relationship skill” of how to Emotionally
Engage a man and help him be a more responsive listener and partner to you.
And I promise… the man in your life will be happy you did and thank you for it when he feels more free and open and honest to talk to you and share more than he has ever been able to with any other woman.
And he won’t know why.
He’ll just love it about you.
Go check out this amazing program now:
You can read all the details about my “Communication Secrets” program, watch some video samples from the actual program itself, and learn how to create the foundation for SECURITY and CERTAINTY in your relationship with a man if you check out this program now.
It’s all right HERE:
And if you’d like to learn more about the critical skill of knowing how to create that deeper and more LASTING level of ATTRACTION with a man… then read this right away:
Natural and Lasting Attraction
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.
P.S. If you’re reading this right now and you haven’t yet downloaded your copy of my online eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him“, I have something to tell you…
My eBook is the foundation for everything that I teach in these newsletters, and it’s the foundation for my more “advanced” programs.
I’ve found over and over that it’s best to get down the real world basics before you get into all the fascinating specifics… and my eBook is what will give you all of the important foundational concepts and tips that my other programs build on in depth.
You can download it RIGHT NOW and be reading it in literally just a minute or two if you go to the link below and get it now.
And I’ll let you download it today at no cost to try it out and see if you like it.
There’s really nothing to lose… and a whole lot of amazing things that are sure to forever change your love life for the better
Download your free trial copy of the eBook here right now:
I get what you are saying, but it makes me feel as though I could never be happy with a man, that I am better off all by myself. Since men and women are so different, where do the two intersect (if ever) and find harmony. It seems like one miserable journey to me. Did you see the “The Break-up”?
hmmm… no man no pain!!!
So here’s a question: My boyfriend is a Christian, I’m working on becoming a better one. We “made love” a couple times (his word vs. just having sex he emphasized we were making love) now he’s obviously feeling very unchristian about his making love outside of marriage and has retreated to his cave. I’ve tried to talk to him about this and he says, well, he needs time to think…to muse, the situation. He asked me, didn;t you notice I have not been responding to your emails? I haven’;t called ;you? etc. I said well yes and I thought you were thinking things over possibly. I call him because I have unlimited long distance and he is 150 miles away. That’s always been our deal. However, I’m not sure if I should just leave him alone until he calls me or emails me….and if he doesn’t to either, then I guess the relationship is over, right? He tells me how much he ej=njys my company, we have such a good time. I don;t know what to do. Help!
I think if he enjoys you! It meen he cares for u! And u should show that u care for him also… its in ur hands if u have this situation!