Comments on: Why Men Leave After The Honeymoon Is Over

By: Aaron Adams

Aaron Adams — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 03:21:06 +0000

Sue,

Wonderful comments.

The last lecture was a touching presentation.

By: Sue

Sue — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:49:51 +0000

It should be this easy: Be interested in each other. Love each other. Treat each other like you do your other friends, whether they are guy friends or gal friends. Get in touch with each other when you feel like it, because you are interested in something and you know they will be too, or surprised that you thought of them. Be best friends, first. The attraction should be there, but wait for things to develop long enough to see if you have enough in common to make it. Be thoughtful of each other. The sex is for your mutual pleasure. Don’t hurt each other in any way, emotionally, physically, ever. Consider that first, before any action, as to how it affects your partner. As the professor said in The Last Lecture, “I got married late in life because I waited until I finally found someone whose happiness meant more to me than my own happiness.” Wow. Cooking is great, but in lots of relationships, cooking is something both like to do and have in common. And the kids and family? Make sure you are hooked up with someone who wants the same end result you do. Otherwise, one will leave, eventually. Love and support each other as you grow. Hopefully you will find someone who grows in the same direction, not a conflicting one. That is the hardest part, frankly. With growth comes change, and sometimes the change is what ends it. Find someone who wants the same thing in the end, or who you think at least thinks like you do on the big things, and you’ll be happy, all your life. Heaven wants us all to be happy. Be happy. A relationship is what each of you makes it.

By: BS

BS — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:40:53 +0000

It figures that it is a MAN writes to keep the honeymoon stage going, because of course we women love to give and do and fuss and romance our men ….and who most benefits the from that? DUh…………………

The point is, that we also need love, attention, and thoughtfullness; so if we think WE are to do all/most of the work and men are not to make the effort as well, who cares if you get him, if after you do, you are just not happy because he takes you for granted?

The book is long, drawn out, repetetive and yes, he wants your money so that again, women do the work and men take what we give and give minimally because after all, we gotta have a man, right???????………….NOT. Let them try to get us, because we OBVIOUSLY have a whole lot to offer!

By: Isabella Byrd

Isabella Byrd — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:31:45 +0000

Men think that all they want is (1) great sex; (2) good food; and (3) a competent household manager and mother for their children. When things start going South, in their marriages, they blame their wives lack of interest in great sex. And then they make their way to me. I have found one leading characteristic of all such men. The lack of great sex in their lives is fully 50% of their own making. Such men–when they hook up with a woman whose is 100% invested in making sure the sex is great — simply lack the tools and the drive necessary to keep great sex in their own lives.

By: saff

saff — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:11:14 +0000

A quote from the above article:
“2. EMOTIONAL “INVESTING” (NOT SPENDING)
A while back in my life, I started looking at relationships more like investments in people, instead of a way to get a pay-off for myself.
Investing usually means that you give up something big to get a little back consistently over time.
In other words, you don’t expect an immediate greater or equal return for what you’re putting in…
“You’ll always give more than you’ll get - but it doesn’t “cost” you anything to give… so keep giving without any immediate expectation.”
So yeah, I’m saying for you to be the person to make things happen.
Take the fate of your love life into your own hands. Be generous, take action, surprise him and be spontaneous instead of waiting for him to do it with you”
Now, at first i though WooHooo! this is what I am made for, showing & giving affection & love…until I remebered this is what drove him away (i think?….) Aren;t we women meant to hold back on showing too much affection? Im sure I read that in the last article here. nothing drives a guy away quicker than a woman showing her love/affection/feelings, as the chase is over. And how can I keep showing affection when he doesnt respond? I always thought i was too open & giving, and even I would find this false, laughably over the top & annoying?
really, I just dont know what to do? all the guides say “dont talk to guys about the relationship”, but then say you need to not be walked over????????????????????????????????????????????

By: Joy

Joy — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:27:56 +0000

To A.C.E. on Feb 22, when a woman keeps a house, kids, and all the in-between, she can’t go to freak mode by 9pm and get your kicks off. You ought to help her around the house and with the kids so she’ll be more into you. That was the fault of my first husband - got tired of doing it all with no help. I was always exhausted. So, if you want sex and more of it, how about helping her more! God knows she could use it and would appreciate it!! You had the kids with her, help her raise them. How about at the end of the day, you draw her a warm bath???!!!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:53:27 +0000

This is the best article I’ve read. I was so heartbroken and devistated after my childs father left me but I see the mistakes that I’ve made. Christian thank you so much for writing this. I will learn from it and in my future relationships I will you the tools you gave me.

By: TC

TC — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:25:15 +0000

Hummm .. so this is about selling a book I see …. too complicated an article ….

Well, from a man that is no longer in his long term relationship, here is what I think;

1- When the honeymoon is over, what is left over has to be stimulating. It needs to be fun, positive and engaging.

2- Your relationship with your best mate needs to come first. The rest of life after. If you do that, you will likely get the same.

3- As you get older, your clothes, your hair, how you see life and the future does not need to take a drastic turn to look good or be happy or impress or fit whatever image someone or others are thinking of you, your relationship or your culture.

If you can survive 1, 2 and 3, how you look 10,20,30 years later will not matter if your keep smiling.

By: europe

europe — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:24:51 +0000

Why should a woman buy a book now, on how to read a mans mind? Not to mention every man is different!!!! Now I recall men always telling us women to speak our minds because you cant read a womans mind. So why dont you do the same for us and we both will be happy. ;-)
Plus why does always a woman have to do everything??? A relationship is a two way street. If a man withdraw, me as a woman, I let him do so because obviously it doesnt mean anything to him so why should it matter to me. And no!!! I will not shed a tear about him because there are men in the world who can speak up and work on a relationship. Stand up for yourself like a man with pride, dignity and strength and you will be fine trust me. This money that a woman would spend on this book could be spend on a nice dinner together and talk it out. You would be surprised how much magic that would do ;-)

By: A.C.E.

A.C.E. — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:32:41 +0000

Didn’t get much from the article. I agree with TA Winslow. The key to keeping a man happy for life is keeping it simple and focusing on three simple things: 1) Good sex (and often), 2) good food, and 3) good provider (for the family…read: good mother). It really is that simple. I have a wife that is good at the latter two but not so much on the 1st, and I don’t feel like I can communicate that to her without causing a big argument that leads to nowhere…and she is so busy doing the third thing that she doesn’t have time for me any more apparently. Oh well, maybe my next wife will figure it out! All of my buddies that are content in their marriages have all three above provided for…it’s too bad that the ladies tend to let the 1st fall out of their priorities once marriage with kids happens. I’ve been married now for 10 years and I’m doing my best to tolerate the lack of #1, but there’s only so much depravation a man can go through before he throws in the towel…rosie palmers getting old.