What To Do When He’s Emotionally Unavailable
Is the man you love “unavailable” for anything lasting or committed with you?
Are you tired of all the guessing and UNCERTAINTY that comes along with not knowing how your man feels, and what he’ll want or not want next?
Is it making you frustrated wondering if you’ll EVER find and enjoy the kind of love and relationship that’s truly lasting and secure?
If so, there are some important things you should know about a man’s “commitment tempo” and the REAL reasons he will decide for himself that he wants “forever” with you.
Here’s the strangest thing about men:
Just because you’ve been happily dating a man for several weeks, months or even years… it doesn’t automatically mean he’s thinking or feeling “commitment”, or seeking a deeper lasting expression of his LOVE with you.
That’s right.
And if you’re like most women, then by experience you already know this to be true. And it scares you.
You can spend time with a man, get close, become intimate and bond… and he can still NOT WANT to create or nurture a relationship with you.
Even if your relationship is one that makes you both happy when you’re together.
What’s up with that?
So why are so many men “unavailable”?
I’ll give you the short answer here:
It’s because men have a different RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE for wanting to get “serious” with a woman… and different REASONS for making the shift to where love and an exclusive committed relationship is the thing they really want.
That might sound “selfish” and like a man needs to get over his “issues”…but it’s also just how men are when it comes to real lasting relationships.
Does that mean that it’s “all about him” and that if you want to share a real relationship, you have to put aside what you want – or else wait for him to get his act together?
Absolutely not.
The first thing you should know is that a man’s “Commitment Tempo” (when he’ll want to take things to the next level with you) has NOTHING to do with how long you’ve been together.
The amount of TIME you’ve been together is irrelevant to a man’s feelings…and whether or not he feels “ready” to commit.
Unfortunately most women don’t know this, and instead they try to convince or reason with a man that it’s THE RIGHT TIME to take the next step and grow the relationship.
By doing this, they accidentally create MORE RESISTANCE inside the man… which can end up in disagreements, power struggles, and lots of bad “drama.”
All of which ends the same way – the man WITHDRAWING even further, if not leaving altogether.
Don’t shoot yourself in the foot this way.
The end result of all that drama is that the man starts feeling that the relationship is more of an unnecessary “hardship” than an OPPORTUNITY for more love and happiness.
You don’t want that.
If you’ve ever been with a man and shared something amazing for several months and grown closer and closer, but then he RESISTED and WITHDREW once you actually talked about how things were moving forward between you… then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Here’s a secret when it comes to “unavailable” men and moving your relationship forward in a way that will INSPIRE the man you’re with to be a better partner and lover:
Don’t try and TALK your way into a better relationship with him.
A man doesn’t commit to a woman in a conversation, or even with his words.
It’s something he just FEELS inside and wants for himself.
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
oh my gosh this is so true and i shot myself in the foot. the love of my life recently moved away to pursue a promising career and promised that we’d be ok. two months into the move he started to become distant but argued that we were ok and to just relax. needless to say i didn’t relax and 2.5 months of drama on my end continued. i couldn’t understand why he would say all of these wonderful things and the relationship we shared we amazing and then just one day be completely unavailable. i asked him to be honest and if he was seeing someone and he told me ofcourse not and that we were ok, once again. sooooo about 2wks ago, after i couldn’t reach him via cell phone or text i sent him an email telling him forget it and forget me and that i couldn’t deal with his iffy-ness. BUT i really just wanted him to call and explain himself but he didn’t and i haven’t heard from. WHAT DO I DO?
he is the only man i’ve ever loved, after a marriage to the wrong person, a divorce and 6 years of looking for him he found me and i refuse to believe that this is the end of us. How can i may this better, despite the craziness i conveyed. PLEASE HELP ME christian
this is dumb. again it’s just about letting the man have what he wants at his convenience. if a woman continues to do this, she will never get what she wants because many men are happy to not ever have to commit.