Comments on: How To Communicate With Emotionally Distant Men

By: april

april — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:54:12 +0000

HAHAHAHA

By: keith

keith — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 07:20:57 +0000

Dear lord ladies, why is it soooo much to ask that both parties accept responsibility in this. As a child i was scolded for crying unless something was really wrong and affection just wasn’t a priority, survival was. getting the bills paid and food on the table ate up a lot of what my family had to give. A mans life is molded to believe that he needs to follow certain steps to “earn” a suitable woman. I try my best to make sure my girl has everything she needs. i spend my day thinking of what i can do to make her life more enjoyable with me, but emotions and sharing is a dance she’s just much more natural at. so is it so wrong for the guy to say “i want to try this but i need a few lessons”?!?! Men are always supposed to be the one figuring women out but if she’s expected to put some sort of effort into getting what she wants from her man then we are morons? please ladies. sometimes we just need a little support like you do.

By: Estella

Estella — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 18:54:36 +0000

I wish I could actualy meet someone that is emotionaly available, and knows what they want in a relationship as well as out of life…uggggh

By: Tonya

Tonya — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 20:18:22 +0000

I dunno…I’m starting to REALLY believe the taxi theory about men. Not only do I think a lot of women are in these types of relationships because basically “he’s just not that into her” and she refuses to acknowledge it – I think these so called “emotionally unavailable men” just aren’t ready to turn their cab lights off…. why bother to upset the apple cart when this is a perfect set up for him to continue receiving intimacy and sex? Men know the way it’s played. If you want a regular sex life that doesn’t involve paying for it – you get yourself a gf – he’s not thinking “future” like a woman. He’s just in the here and now for the most part.

The theory goes that men are like NYC taxis, driving around with their fare lights on – picking up passengers for rides and dropping them off for a good portion of their life, when finally one day they turn the light off and the last person in the cab is the one that they choose to stay with. Whatever and whenever that “instinct” inside them finally goes off and makes them say to themselves “ok, I think I’m ready to commit to someone and move on with life and do the whole love/family thing” they will DO it and it doesnt’ matter who it is. If he feels at that moment in time that the women he’s with meets the main qualifications he’s looking for, then he’ll stay with her because it’s on HIS terms when HE was ready to do so.

So you see, it has nothing to do with them not being in touch with their emotions – men do in fact have emotions. They will often meet in their lives several “right women” for them who would’ve been perfectly suited to be their future wife – but because the man himself is not yet ready to put all his eggs in one basket, he will continue to review the options out there, and pick up passengers, nagged by the prospect of being able to “trade up” continually. So whether each passenger sits in the cab for 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years, he won’t make any comittment. This is why I say this whole article’s premise won’t work. You cant MAKE someone want you if they’re just not internally ready – no matter how much game playing and manipulation you do or amount of “comfort zone” you give.

Men have a clock like women…women have clocks for baby making…men have clocks for making goals and accomplishments on personal and professional levels for themselves before they become a certain age…all the stuff he wants to do before he’s saddled with a family. If he’s focused on this aspect while you’re with him and want him to commit when he’s not focused on that in his life, then just deal with it and move the hell on. Find a guy who’s ready to turn his light off.

By: You're Wrong

You're Wrong — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 04:24:55 +0000

Tosh is right. A woman should NOT have to twist herself into a pretzel so an emotionally crippled man won’t feel threatened. She needs to spend that time and energy moving on to a man who doesn’t have those problems. End of.

By: joanne bailey

joanne bailey — Sun, 15 May 2011 14:07:47 +0000

what a load of tosh …

By: AJ

AJ — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 02:57:05 +0000

90% of the people ^^^ did not get the point of this article. Ladies, it may be difficult to understand, let alone empathize with a person who does not know how to communicate emotions, but that’s how most men are because that’s how society (at least where I’m from, America) idealizes that they should be, and therefore makes them. We are all a product of our environments, and men in general have not been emotionally nurtured to understand, let alone express their emotions the same way you can. The context that the writer used to blame women didn’t help, but the ideas themselves are designed to help your significant other become emotionally aware. It’s not like pulling teeth, the article recommends using these steps so that it doesn’t have to be. Learn to empathize, don’t be so judgemental, and try the guide ^^^, it will probably help your relationships. It really is a breakthrough to learn to communicate with someone in the way this article described at the end, and the man you help to have this epiphany will love you for it.

By: Sunshine

Sunshine — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 17:14:10 +0000

When a man is emotionally unavailable no matter what you do you cant change him. Don’t waste your time ladies.
I was stupid enough to wait for a man for three years who was never emotionally there for me. I tried different ways of communications and gave him time and space, I tried to leave him and then he would come back and begging and then same thing would happen again and again. it took my time energy and a lot of stress and frustration on my part.

I finally found the courage to get out and accept the reality that it is not my fault and I am not the one to fix him. In any case it is his loss ladies… get your life back and don’t waste on a man who can never change.

By: Christine

Christine — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 02:30:09 +0000

This is a bunch of crap! It’s not the women’s fault a man cannot engage in an intelligent conversation with her. From my experience any man that does not speak is emotionally damaged in some way.

I don’t want to be his mother and parent him, I want to be his partner in life. I don’t want to ‘raise’ a grown man.

Men want a women who is emotionally mature and does not act like a petulant child, women also want their man to act like an adult. Shutting down and distancing himself from a women sound like he’s behaving like a spoiled brat not getting his way.

Talking isn’t brain surgery. Men don’t get to have it both ways….they need to give, not just take from a women.

If this is your man ladies…RUN and get away from him as fast as you can. There are great guys out there that are able to string words together to form complete sentences.

Don’t waste your time with a little boy in the body of a man. Find a real man who knows how to treat you with love, care, trust & respect!

By: BB

BB — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:02:21 +0000

The way a man communicates in life begins when he is born…how his mom and dad related to him…my husband is super closed about feelings, emotions, but gets excited about anything else like …his mom is an emotionally closed person, so is his dad, so that is how he learned to be…thinking that is the norm when it is so dysfunctional i want to throw up..his mom yells when she gets angry…she accuses…and a religious fanatic. but she is also very generous….he goes to his parents several times a week…its like that is his comfort zone…my family is much more open, but yet my parents were people pleasers and raised children that rebelled, suffered depressions, and were afraid to express our true selves…if you have kids, please be responsible and learn how to communicate in a healthy open safe environment…no more pretending to be someone your not…codependent…that can lead your child to suicide…thats what happened to me growing up…stifled anger, repressed emotions, intense therapy…ooooff

so its my freakin fault if my husband is an emotional moron..no, its his parents fault..and his own..