Comments on: He Flirts, But Won’t Ask You Out?

By: tasiha

tasiha — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:10:29 +0000

some times its better to be a really close friend to him or her than to be a girlfriend or boyfriend because it could mess up what you guys had before or make you feel weird

By: rebekah

rebekah — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 09:55:21 +0000

im in love with my first. he was someone i crused on long before i hooked up with hin in highschool so already liked him for along time. i never told him nor was close friends with him. i crushed from afar. i was young and shy and never had a boyfriend. one night after a party somehow i ended up getting a ride with him but i went to his house and hungout. i was so nervous but i ended up having sex with him. i later found out that he was known to try to get with girls. i had no idea he was like that. i was scared and hurt and confused. i didnt know what i did would have changed me forever. it changed me. i was no longer this sweet innocent girl. i felt guilt. but i still crused on him.. after a while we conyinue casuallyhooking up for the restof highschool years… i elt very used by him but i was young and silly i just liked him or thought i did because of the sexual attatchment..after highschool and many times off fighting and not talking to him. he would always come back or try to hnagout and eventually at times i was no longer interested he would be extremely interested. then he acted different he wold say thing lke i miss you and want to hangout. then it turned into i respect you and i d you want to come to my cabin or to lunch. we had such a long complicated history adn im at the point where i have so many different emotions invested inhim i dont know anymore. i want to be in a relationship with him and he has said that we are compatible but i said that maybe we are two different..are we both scared of committing or does he just use me ..it;s been 6 years now and he lives in arizona and he still text me back or answers my calls but he dosnt call me to ask just how i am. what do you thnk from an outside view

By: lulu

lulu — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:00:34 +0000

hi my name is lulu, the thing is there is this guy we used to attend the same class and we started to call each other and he tells me that he lives with his sister and thinks me a lot; then he started to tallk about having sex with me and i told him no, last time he called me and asked me about if i am in to a relashionship and i told him i am single and i asked him to meet in person and he said i will call u any time soon but never did since. i think i like him what do thik about his action and whay should i do

By: White Angel

White Angel — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 18:57:54 +0000

Dear Christian,
I would like to share my story .which is some where like above.I meet this guy in work,he is a colleague of mine the 1st time we talked together was in an official meeting where he started talking to me and asking me question and asked me where is my office so he can visit me.
the next day he visited me just to say HI and see where I sit!!! and the story goes on like that warm Hi, Big Smile when he see me, he call me if I pass by without talking or saying Hi to him and ask me what i am doing and what I am about to do and like that.
little further I add him to Facebook and G mail and he add me to Skype.
the chat through Facebook and Gmail was limited and we talked general things all what he talked about was his family and his brother and sister and mine also majority of the chat was within work environment.In Skype the first time he add me he invite me to join conference chat but i apologized cus it was so late, however any chat we do he suddenly finish it quickly and close the chat even before i realized that!!!
beside the chat whenever he sees me he stand very close and some times he use his hand to fast touch my hand like u through something , i did not notice him doing it with anyone else,and whenever he sees me standing with a guy he room around until he know who is that guy and what i am doing with him .
when day i was passing by him climbing the stair up and he climbing down he touched my hand and compliment me work as well he always call me white angel .
lately before 2 weeks I had to travel to another city in a workshop with some of other colleagues and he was not allowed to join in that day he teased me a lot, then before i travel he shacked my hand and asked me to enjoy!!!
in the way i send him a message about work!!!but until 1 am he did not replay, then at 1 he replayed but he started to be different and he asked me if i want him to keep distance or to be near and my answer was to be near and then we decided our relation is friendship and suddenly he told he have a girl friend at the same time he start asking me “sexy questions” My answers was what is the general role of my country and we can not do that because of tradition and culture, the conservation was through SMSs then he was replaying but my girl will say like that and like this and one things make me wondering if he really have gf is he said he never tested her neither me and some of other details …when i asked him why ur asking me this if u have gf he told me its ok i will pretend that ur my girl!!!! and he completed his conservation until the early morning when we slept.
the second day he told me he was so tired the whole day because of the s…. activity he done that make him very tired and i asked him if he miss me he said that he do not cus the last day he was with me the whole day and its not fair for his gf to talk with me the whole night.
then again he said we are just friend and he can not leave his girlfriend cus he was with her for long time and he wish i will find someone 30 times better than him at the same time there is a future workshop and he is still interested to travel with me to that place
and he left me and closed the chat to sleep ,after that he never answered my SMS .
I got crazy of what happened, then i called him after some days and asked him to talk face to face ,when i meet him i think he was feeling unsecured and never he smiled he sat behind a desk and never used his hand to talked.
he told me what happened “s….. chat” was something normal between normal friends and the tension that happened afterward was just to tell he is not Interested in me he like me as friend he like me work but he is not “Interested” and if he is Interested he should broke up with his gf first and he did not!so my answer was “I never told you I am interested, even though if I am I never said it so it is not there ??” !! then he told me that he have some plans about future and his family but he did not mention his gf but he said that he does not think he will develop and social private relation in this place ” he was abroad for 15 years and he just back before 4 month” .
the last think that i would like to say that in the last conversation on G mail i told him that he is special person to me so i told him what that mean and its not necessarily to mean that I am attracted to him but cus I like his manner and behavioral so I like to keep my social relation with him so he said OK now I feel comfort. and we had small chat about work then I left the place with smile and confirmation that the misunderstanding is solved and the day will solve the remaining.
the 2nd day i saw him from far and just he wave his hand to say Hi, and I had to call him the next day to tell him something about work but he was not able to come in that call i felt that he want to say something but I do not know !!!???
I know he do not hate cus I asked him why u hate me that much within the last G mail chat and he told me if he does he will not talk to me? I know he like me as friend and I know he like me as colleague ? but I do not understand the other things the attraction, the sudden jump from friendship to physical attraction activities and then to friends and then to tension and stop talking with each other?!!

I am thinking a lot about him and keep telling myself ok he is just friend he is just friend but I really miss him, I miss to see him and talk to him “we did not talk or meet for one week now ” at the same time I feel sad that he is just liked me physically or that what I think??
please Guy help me to understand all of this sorry for the long message and thanks for ur time

By: Confused.

Confused. — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 07:30:30 +0000

I met this guy in the gym and he was and still is attracted to me. The way he look at me and smile and even touch me by accedient. I got realy attracted to him and i just had to tell him. I told him that i`m attracted to him. He said he doesnt know how he feels and what he wants. he is acting a little strange on sms but he still wants to gym with me and even go movie with me. I asked him if we can go out on sunday he said we can even go out on saterday. But still he is a little strange in the way he respond on the sms. Is there still green lights or can do i have to make piece with the red flag?

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 10:56:28 +0000

Who has read and/or watched ‘hes just not that into you’. If a guys not meeting you, then he’s just not that into you. Move on JB, he’s a loser. Probably a married one too.

By: JB

JB — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 23:39:22 +0000

Hello, I would like your advice: I met this man on a dating site and we’ve been texting and talking for quite some time now. When we first talked it was for hours and has been that long each time or more. Anyway, he’s mentioned things like when we meet, or we haven’t met yet but we get along so well….He did ask me to go out, we set the day but not the when and where, when the day came he called to cancel. It was okay, I was fine with it, the reason was acceptable.. We have talked and texted since then every day and it was mentioned again where he said.. “Well let me know when you are ready”. I told him I was ready and he can plan the date. As of today, he hasn’t mentioned anything about meeting. I have hinted but still nothing. Should I just wait or move on. I like this guy, we have a lot in common and he seems to like me too but I’m just totally confused.

By: Sandra81

Sandra81 — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 14:55:44 +0000

That was interesting. It sounds like this guy I know. We met last summer, and we’re both part of a youth organization. We go out with our friends on a regular basis. Lots of flirting involved: he behaved just like you say (although we straight away became friends on facebook, exchanged phone numbers, etc.). One evening, about a month after we first met, he offered to drive me home, and, at the end, we kissed and “made out” in his car (we didn’t go all the way, though). I have to mention that none of us was drunk! :-D About a week or two afterwards, he started avoiding me, flirting with other girls, and I called it quits in an e-mail, saying that I didn’t like unclear situations and game-playing. He didn’t have any reaction: he never gave me closure. He didn’t stop me, but he didn’t say things like “It’s not gonna work” or “I don’t want a relationship” either. For a while, he was acting as if I had done something bad to him, was very distant, and we’ve ignored each other almost completely. Now, starting from the beginning of December, he went back to the attitude he used to have in the beginning, with all the flirting included. But still, he never suggests him and I wnet out together just the two of us. More than anything else, I need an explanation for last summer, which I never had. My main theories are: 1. he’s casually dating several girls at once (i.e. playing around) – I know him well enough to know he’s not in a commited relationship; 2. he’s not ready for a more stable relationship, and I am the kind of girl who would prefer that to a casual fling. My question is: should I try to ask him out, just to spend some time together by ourselves, and eventually try to figure him out? On one hand, I’m crazy about him, and, on the other, I’m scared that he would hurt me more than he already did. :-/

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 15:44:33 +0000

Emma, I had a long distance relationship for 3 years, they DO work if you are both committed to making it work.
As difficult as it is to hear, it ‘appears’ to me that when men fall out of love overnight, it is almost always due to interest from another woman. So they need ’space’. This space is generally for them to run off and investigate this interest. Then keep you hanging in the meantime in case it doesnt work out.
Sure, I may be wrong. But I think what he needs to hear is this:
“I see that you are confused, so take all the time you need to work out what you want. However, you dont get to keep me all to yourself whilst you do that’. Then dont text him, dont email him, dont ring him. He’ll sort out pretty quick what he wants.

He says he misses you….remind him that he misses you because he’s choosing not to be with you. Hard to hear I know.

By: Emma

Emma — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:54:51 +0000

I was in a long distance relationship for 5 months, we were in love. He told me so every day and night on the phone, we spoke about the future together. It was hard when we were apart, talking on the phone was sometimes upsetting as we just wanted to be together. It was also very hard leaving each other after spending a few days together, hard to say goodbye. The last time he was down seeing me, a few weeks back, we were planning the next time to see one another. So that was arranged & we both were looking forward to it! :)) Once he arrived home after his journey on the train from spending time with me, he called me. I was upset.. he reassured me, saying it’s only 13 sleeps then we are together again, I love you with all my heart! This went on for a few days. Then, on the saturday, he was being fairly quiet. Then I arrived home from work and he called me, saying we can’t go on like this.. “I found it so hard leaving you at the station to get the train home, I hate when you are upset, it hurts me knowing you’re upset” etc.. “I will always love you baby, I miss you like hell, but it’s over!” He has phoned me since, acting very different. For instance.. trying to talk to me like a friend, but doesn’t mean it! He’s text alot too, very bland texts. It’s so not like him! He called me last night too.. we kind of argued.. I just wanted to know what the hell was going on! How you can be so in love one minute, then not want to see the person again! He’s been hurt before in the past.. fell in love then the girls have said they don’t want to see him again! He called me this morning, I tried talking to him, he said he doesn’t know if he is just frightened of commitment, because of his past, he’ll get hurt again. He is very depressed, he told me he has just worked, slept and drank lager for the past two weeks! He told me last night again that he’ll always love me and misses me. He has a so-called friend that he talks to in the pub and sometimes on the phone. He told me that his friend has said to him that long distance relationships never work out and to make me come running..etc Oh I am so confused! we were totally in love! Do you think it’s over for good?? please reply if you have time, thank you