And more to the point…

Do you ever wonder what it actually takes for a man to be and want all these things with you?

Do you feel like you understand and know what a man really wants from a lasting long-term relationship?

Or… have you found that men always seem to find a way to mess things up or break your relationship apart – even when things are going great?

Well, what if it’s possible that there’s something you’re just not seeing or getting about men?

Or is it really true that most men are the ones who just don’t get it and are incapable of being in loving and lasting relationships?

Good questions… but here’s the thing -

If you know WHAT WORKS with men…

And you get WHAT MEN WANT…

Then the truth is that you’re free from all the wondering and worry.

It’s time you knew, don’t you think?

Do you know what it means when your boyfriend gets quiet, “zones out” and acts like he doesn’t want to talk to you?

One minute everything feels great and you’re laughing and connecting and the next minute some weird “mood” comes over him and he goes off into his own little world.

Or maybe your relationship is chugging along at full speed, getting closer and closer, and suddenly you feel like YOU are the only one
reaching out and connecting…and he is just sitting there?

What’s up with that?

Why do men do this?

If this has ever happened to you, I want you to know that it’s critical for you to know WHY – and what to do about it (and what to AVOID doing at all costs).

PAY ATTENTION, because this is important:

How you react in a situation like this can mean the difference between him KNOWING the one woman who can make him happy… or feeling unsure about the future of your relationship.

Find out what’s going on by going to this link right now:

Inside the Mind of a Man

Now I’d like to share a question I recently received from a reader about a situation just like this.

***QUESTION FROM A READER:***

“Dear Christian,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year and we are very serious about each other. We are even talking about marriage and we have already moved in together.

So what’s the problem you ask?

Even after all this time, I still find myself trying to figure out what he’s thinking sometimes.

Sometimes he’s a mystery to me, why he does and says some of the things he does, and this scares me a lot and makes me crazy since we are so serious about each other.

For example, sometimes he just gets quiet and won’t talk to me. And it doesn’t have to be anything going wrong like a fight or anything for this to happen.

He says that he needs his alone time, but I sense that it’s because of something I have done that makes him shut down. I’d really like to fix it if I could. I wish I knew how to read these things better or if I even should be reading anything into it at all. Can you help?

–M.”

***MY RESPONSE:***

I can definitely help.

First of all, I have some good news for you.

You can relax.

From what I’m hearing about your situation, there is nothing abnormal or wrong with what is happening between you and your boyfriend.

The fact that he’s telling you he needs “alone time” doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with how he feels about you and your “serious” relationship.

It has EVERYTHING to do with how a man approaches relationships, his own “down time” and the “up time” when he is with you.

Many women believe that when a man acts “disengaged” it is because he’s not happy, or he’s unsatisfied, or he doesn’t want to be with you and wants to be with someone else.

NOT SO!

As a matter of fact, thinking that there’s something wrong with the relationship when a man gets quiet is one of what I call the “Man Myths” that a lot of women believe about men.

The way your boyfriend is behaving is TYPICAL and to be expected of a man in a relationship. It doesn’t mean something is WRONG…for example:

Has your guy ever done this?

– Made plans to spend a night alone with “the guys” after several intense and romantic days with you

– Go and “zone out” in front of the T.V. or computer after dinner or after a long conversation with you, and acts irritated when you try to interrupt him

– Spend huge chunks of time on weekends tinkering around the garage or working on his hobby and not engaged or interested in spending time with you

I’d bet that he’s done this more than once… and when he does, what do YOU think about what’s going through his mind?

Do you start wondering if he’s angry about something you did or said, or is somehow DISAPPROVING of you in some way?

Do you wonder if he cares LESS about you in that moment, or is questioning your relationship?

Do you start to talk yourself into feeling, “ok, well he’s into his own thing, so I’m going to go off and be into mine.”

Or do you think, “well I need to fill my time with other interests since he is OBVIOUSLY not interested in spending his precious time with me.”

If you find yourself thinking any of these things, chances are pretty good that you’re reacting to him in a way that sends a very negative message – a message that is GUARANTEED to send him packing or push him away from you.

That’s because you’re reacting to a MYTH that you heard somewhere about men – that men really don’t care about spending quality, intimate time with women.

OK, I’m a man and I am going to say that again – and in all caps (because I can)!

MEN DO CARE ABOUT SPENDING QUALITY, INTIMATE TIME WITH WOMEN.

What’s worse, though, is that by believing the myth that men need alone time BECAUSE they don’t care about you, or would rather NOT talk because they’re disapproving of you in any way is probably causing you to behave in a way that is DESTRUCTIVE to your relationship.

Let me explain.

You wrote in your email that you feel scared and a little bit crazy when your boyfriend behaves in a way that is a mystery to you.

What if I were to tell you that men have a completely different way of UNPLUGGING and decompressing than women do…and that for a man, to spend time alone WITHOUT TALKING or having a “deep” conversation is his way of relaxing and getting back some of his mental energy.

And yet you INTERPRET it as meaning that he isn’t engaged with you in some way.

The thing is, if you’re punishing him in some way for doing things that are actually normal and NATURAL for him as a man, such as needing alone time or time to zone out and decompress, then what you’re actually communicating to him is that you don’t understand who he is.

And if your man doesn’t think that you understand him, then OF COURSE he will disengage!

You just want him to be exactly like you.

But that’s not what you REALLY want, is it?

While it’s true that there are fundamental differences in men and women, such as the way they decompress and re-energize, it’s also true that they have much more in COMMON than you think.

Most women I talk with don’t realize that men and women aren’t really that different.

Look at the list below. Do these sound like myths to you? Actually, they are TRUTHS about men and how they feel about relationships.

Men may not ADMIT this readily, but for most men, when they decide that a woman is TRULY the woman for them, it is because she has met these criteria – maybe not all, but definitely most.

> She makes him feel cherished

> She makes him feel her desire for him, so he never feels unattractive, insignificant or unimportant

> He feels SAFE and secure in the relationship

> She makes him spontaneous and FUN in a way he hasn’t felt like since his youth…and feeling things that can’t be planned in a relationship, just like you

I’ve produced a unique program that answers all those burning questions you have about what your boyfriend is thinking and feeling when he does something that feels like a mystery to you.

My new Inside the Mind of a Man program is YOUR roadmap to how a real man thinks and behaves, so you never again have to feel worried or scared about something he said… or didn’t say.

This all-new material will help you discover, without a doubt, what his level of maturity is… to what he thinks of sleeping with other women… to what it takes for him to know he wants to commit to you forever.

You can read about this amazing program right here:

Inside the Mind of a Man

When I filmed this program live in Los Angeles, I have to admit that at first I wasn’t sure how the women in the audience would take it.

Some of the insights I revealed about men are a little bit racy, a little bit TOO honest. And frankly…I was a little uncomfortable with where the discussion was going!

But the reaction from the women of all ages in the audience was overwhelming.

I could see a wave of change taking place with the women in the audience – women who were desperate to gain some insight into their guys’ minds – and they suddenly started to grasp how a guy’s mind works. How they could approach men with a new outlook… even if they had been hesitant and apprehensive with men before.

But don’t take my word for it. Here’s some feedback I received from a woman who attended the program.

This amazing women was kind enough to share her thoughts right after the taping was finished:

“The `Inside The Mind of a Man’ program taught me that a man wants to free to be himself and be your hero, NOT free from you, which is a misconception many women have.

The most important thing I learned is that men are more bothered by stress and confrontation than women. They often see our desire to talk as conflict, thus men are more passive and we think they are not listening. I learned that criticism of your man definitely does not work. Liberal praise and reward is the only way to success with a man. It’s a Pavlov’s Dog thing.

- N.K. Los Angeles, CA”

LOL! “Pavlov’s Dog thing.” Nice.

This program is literally for ANY woman who wants to have a relationship with a man – the kind of relationship that has depth and will stand the test of time.

My Inside the Mind of a Man program is going to show you exactly how to start sharing the kind of relationship you deserve with a man, because you’ll have a deep level of understanding about him.

You’ll discover how to keep your relationship passionate and AFFAIR-FREE, how to talk to him about how you’re feeling so he’ll listen and care, and you’ll learn what stage of maturity your man is in so you’ll “get” why he acts a certain way (and what it means to your relationship for the long-term.)

It’s all right here:

Inside the Mind of a Man

And if you’ve never ordered a program from me before, there’s something I need to tell you.

Just like any of my programs, my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” is completely no-risk for you to order and try before you pay a dime.

That’s right, you can review your copy for a full 30 days before deciding if it’s the right program for you.

But I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be. You’re in a great relationship and you don’t want to spend your entire life feeling constantly feeling scared and confused about your man, right?

That’s why you NEED this program.

I know you’re going to love the insights and tips you’ll get from my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program.

Here’s the link where you can order your own copy:

Inside the Mind of a Man

Good luck and I’ll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. My “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program is the program I’ve finally created for you that reveals the real secrets about what men think and feel when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships.

This program will show you:

> The 7 Things that men REALLY WANT from women

> Why men cheat, even when they say they’re in love with you

> How one of the most common myths women believe about men can actually be preventing you from EXPRESSING your needs and desires to a man; learn the FACTS and experience a complete shift in your perceptions and feel EMPOWERED instantly

> The 8 Attraction Killers that will make him think twice about being with you in the future

> And much more…

Go here now to find out all this and more:

Inside the Mind of a Man

Well, recently I received an email from a woman who shared her story about this.

I think you’ll feel for her and relate to the struggle that she’s facing.

That’s why I’ve devoted today’s newsletter to teaching you:

-why men can grow more distant the more you try to get closer to them

-the mistakes most women make when trying to bring men closer

-what REALLY works in creating a lasting and committed relationship with a man, and what doesn’t

-how a man becomes truly committed to a woman on a physical AND emotional level

So here we go…

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

I recently met guy and we started dating. From our first date he was very forward with me (kissing, touching, etc) and I was the reserved one until the third date or so ( I hadn’t had that much experience with men).

After a few weeks when he realized I started having “feelings” for him he decided that he wasn’t the right one for me. He said he has never been in love with anyone before and it is better to break up with me now than in six months time. Is he scared of getting hurt again? (his previous relationship ended after six months and she broke it off about this time last year)

It came out of the blue for me as he seemed very attracted to me physically and that we had a lot in common. I put it down to him being under a lot of pressure due to his personal circumstances (he even admitted that). We talked it over and said he liked me and felt attracted to me but it was up to me to decide what I wanted to do about it.

As we met to discuss the situation it was like we never discussed not to continue the relationship as he was very physical again. I didn’t stop him as I was very attracted to him but drew the line at sex at that time. After a few more weeks have passed things seemed to have be fine again but we have since broken up and he has decided that we should be friends. I told him I don’t know how to be friends with an ex as I have never gone through this situation. Why did he suggest this? Does he still want to be involved in my life?

He said there isn’t anyone else in his life and I believe him as he doesn’t have the opportunity to meet women. We have seen each other as friends twice since the decision was made and we got very close physically especially the second time. I realize this was a mistake you don’t need to tell me that.

I asked him about his reasons for stopping the relationship but he said it is a mix of things on his side and mine and not to discuss it again. I am not saying I want him back as I don’t want to convince someone to be with me. I just don’t understand his reasoning behind staying friends. I think we were together because we were both lonely at the time and connected through some very similar circumstances. Should I let this go or give him time? I can’t wait forever.

I am very confused about my feelings. Thanks for reading my e-mail.”

***MY COMMENTS***

Ouch.

I know your situation is endlessly frustrating and seems impossible to understand… as I’ve seen TONS of women go through or tell me about a very similar experience with a man.

Why is it that men will act distant with you to the point where a break up happens… only to come back and act affectionate for a little while, and THEN go back to being distant and uncertain?

After he pursues you physically and you start getting comfortable and open up your feelings again, he starts back-pedaling.

And he tells you things like, “you are putting too much pressure on me”.

“Let’s just be friends.”

“Things are moving too fast.”

Or he doesn’t say anything at all. He just calls less, or stops calling altogether.

And when you try to talk about it, he reacts like you’re laying some guilt trip or some heavy burden on him… and he backs off even further.

What’s happening here? Why do so many men do this?

To explain why this is with men, let me ask you a question…

When you are feeling upset about something, do you call up close girlfriends to talk it over and work out the best thing to do?

If you’re like most women, you often do this.

Now ask yourself…

How many MEN do you know call up their close guy friends to share their feelings and get advice for what’s going on in their life and relationships?

Not many.

It’s just not part of the way they deal with emotions and relationships in their lives.

Most men spend less time “analyzing” all the specifics in their relationships… and they generally have a more personal and internal way of dealing with or “processing” their feelings. (Yes, men do have feelings after all.)

But in case you haven’t noticed, men don’t feel better or clearer after “analyzing” a situation the way women do.

In fact, oftentimes, doing so can actually make a man feel “drained” instead.

I think deep down somewhere you recognize this. Part of you knows men are different in this way. But another part of you fears or resents this because it can make a man seem “unengaged” or shut off from his feelings.

And that can spell BAD NEWS for women in relationships where they feel UNCERTAIN.

Here’s my point…

Considering all this about how men and women can be different, how do you think a man is going to react when a woman isn’t happy with the way a relationship is going and wants to talk or analyze why he’s not “feeling it” for her?

He’ll probably respond negatively, get irritated, or just shut down altogether.

Arggggh! Frustrating, right?

Let me quickly cut to the chase about what’s going on here…

There are about 50 things I could tell you about how your man is at fault and creates these problems for himself and for you in your relationship.

But that’s not going to help you learn anything about YOURSELF.

You could spend days, weeks, months or years worrying about a man, what he thinks, and why he does the things he does.

But if you want to be smart…

And you want relationships to start “working” for you, then you’ll make sure you have things handled for yourself first.

And that way you’ll have the CERTAINTY that only comes from understanding what’s happening in the relationship around you… and what YOU need to do in each situation that comes up with a man, especially in a case like this where you are dealing with an “Emotionally Unavailable” man.

The “Emotionally Unavailable” man is a man who has one foot out the door.

One moment he may be ready to step into the boat with you… he wants to be with you… he wants to spend all his time with you… and it seems as though he is ready to start on a beautiful journey with both of you together.

Then he stops dead in his tracks and starts thinking about that boat on the pier. That’s solid land. Land he knows how to navigate.

Maybe he’s never been on the boat before or maybe he doesn’t think he has a “map” in order to truly understand where the boat is going. What if their boat hits a rock? What if they get lost on their journey? (like his comment about “never having been in love before”) Maybe stepping back on solid ground that he is familiar with is the only option he sees.

And so he tells you, “I think we should just be friends.”

One of the most common, frustrating and destructive things these men do with women in relationships is pull away or completely withdraw emotionally.

If you’ve ever had this happen and it dragged on, even just for a few hours or days, then you know it can feel like a slow “emotional death.”

Well, there’s something that lots of women don’t recognize that I want to share with you…

It’s that when it comes to emotional withdrawal and distance in a relationship, most men DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND what it is they’re doing… and why it would be such a problem for their relationship.

Ok, let me repeat that.

Some men just plain DON’T GET IT.

And more to the point, don’t want to.

Got it?

Now, why am I telling you this?

Because lots of women get upset and try to analyze the situation with a man to death, trying to get all kinds of “meaning” from what he tells them and looking for the deeper reason behind his distance.

When in fact, the truth is that lots of men don’t appreciate how important sharing feelings, emotions, and experiences are to a relationship, and to a woman. (Duh!)

So when a great woman comes along that he could have an amazing time with and get close to…

And she starts noticing that he isn’t as “involved” emotionally…

Instead of identifying these for what they are (part of his natural “masculine” tendency to pull away and focus in a less emotionally involved way) she feels rejected, unappreciated or deadened by it.

Men who are emotionally unavailable think of themselves as “easygoing” and “laid back”.

Not “detached” or “distant”.

They’ll say things like:

“It’s better if we don’t talk about it.”

Or…”Why do you nag me about this stuff?”

Or… “Don’t worry about it so much?”

Sound familiar?

So what’s a woman to do with a man who thinks or talks this way?

Accept that he’ll never open up and share with her?

Resign herself to a life and a relationship without real love and connection?

Dump him and move on?

Well, what I can tell you is that as much as men are different, a man MUST BE willing to be part of the learning process that IS a relationship for love to grow and last.

Translation – if he’s open to learning and growth in some way, then he’s not a lost cause.

Which is why I’ve got two important questions for you-

Question #1. How open to learning and growth is the man in your life?

This is an important question to consider when you’re thinking about the kind of relationship you REALLY and truly want, and if the man you’re interested in is open and willing to have that.

The man you choose can help make all the difference for you.

Question #2. How open are YOU to the idea that YOUR OWN words and behavior often result in a man becoming LESS OPEN to learning and growth with you?

All healthy, mature people in relationships learn to take responsibility for their part in how their partner responds.

As much as men might be less “emotionally involved”, tons of women are blinded to the fact that they create more of the situation they fear most in their relationship – having a man shut off.

When you keep getting a man who shuts off when you try and talk about your feelings, what’s bothering you, or what’s wrong with your relationship… it would be a good idea to take a minute and look at YOUR PART in all of this, and the way you communicate.

Like, being ok with getting physical one day, then being upset that it didn’t “mean” what you wanted it to mean the next day.

You see what I’m getting at here?

But what if you knew about how COMMITMENT really works inside a man’s mind and heart… and you had a “map” to get you BOTH to a deeply committed place together in your relationship, without coming up against the resistance some men put up when they tell you they “aren’t ready”, “don’t want to hurt you” or “just want to be friends” (when it’s clear that they are physically attracted to you)?

Would a “map” like this help you feel more comfortable, guide you smoothly through what was coming next with a man, and help you grow CLOSER in your relationship?

And would you want to know all the juicy details of HOW and WHY commitment either leads to more happiness and intimacy, or just makes a man feel LESS CERTAIN with you than before he become more emotionally and physically involved with you?

There is a common mistake women make with men they want to be in a close, connected relationship with.

They wait until things are difficult and intense to try and have the real conversations about who they are, what they want, and where things are going.

And they find out too late where a man is really at, and where he’s really coming from.

It’s CRITICAL to learn to understand a man for who he is and what his patterns, fears, and hang-ups are so that you can either address them and move ahead to a deeper level of understanding and commitment…

Or you can be clear about the fact that he needs to deal with these for himself BEFORE you give him more of your time and energy.

Identifying what kind of “resistance” you’re going to have in your relationship before it comes up is what’s going to help you create the situation you’ve always known is possible in your love life… and make it LAST.

Of course, once you start to put together the puzzle pieces and raise your AWARENESS about your relationship and the man you’re with… from there you still need to know how to grow closer and become more committed over time… instead of growing apart like so many couples end up doing.

There are LOTS of different levels of commitment, and monogamy is just one of them.

Committing to honesty is another.

And committing to an emotionally close and intimate relationship regardless of external events is yet another.

But in order for commitment to last, you need to build it over time, in a natural way that will feel good for you AND for a man too.

Unfortunately, when it comes to a LASTING COMMITMENT, this uncertain, chaotic, “take-it-as- it-comes” approach ends up failing a majority of the time.

How would you like to have a clear understanding of what really makes a “GOOD MAN” – from the standpoint of emotions, sexuality, behavior and his readiness for commitment?

If you’re feeling like you wouldn’t know a good man when you saw one, then I have some GREAT news for you.

In my Inside the Mind of a Man program, I take you through the 3 Male Archetypes and the different levels of emotional maturity in a man…amazing insights that will empower you to “spot” a great man and dismiss the “boys” from the first time you meet.

This program will also show you how to cheat-proof your relationship, communicate your feelings to a man, and know exactly what he’s thinking in certain situations – even if he doesn’t say anything at all.

It’s all right here:

Inside the Mind of a Man

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

In it I share some tips and insights into what’s going on with her man as she’s sensing something wrong but can’t put her finger on it, while he won’t talk to her.

Read on to find out what’s going on…

>>>>Letter From A Reader

Hi Christian

I have read your e-book which has helped answer a lot of my questions about men and relationships. I am also in the process of listening to your “ready for Love” CDs.

I have been having a long distance relationship with a man with whom the chemistry and the connection was amazing from the start. We have been seeing each other for almost 4 months now. We fell in love and he has confessed it so to me. He also has mentioned to me that he feels I am his soul mate.

He travels around the world working for an oil company and during his last trip which has taken a month things are changing. He does not call me as often, does not write emails to me as often and blames it on the time difference and mood differences and being stressed and busy. All started to get worse when in my frustrations I started feeling anxiety and reacting by also not calling him as often and being cold and distant.

Before I started acting this way I did ask why he was not calling and communicated that expectation with him. I think he is pulling away and so not know what to do. I am in love with him and do not know if I should bother him by calling or I should just stand back and wait for him to make his move when ready. He was very attentive and used to call a lot more before even when he was traveling.

Did I act needy? Is there hope? What should I do?

In need of your help.

-A.

>>>>My Response

Ok, I’m glad you asked.

Here’s something you should know-

It is possible for a man to sense what you’re calling “needy” without you even saying anything.

And…

It’s possible that even though your normal feelings of wondering what’s going on aren’t wrong or needy in an unhealthy… your man might FEEL like you’re being too needy.

The result- he’s not showing you the same level of interest and attraction not because you did something wrong, but because of how he is FEELING.

So what’s the difference between what is actually needy, and what a man thinks is needy and unattractive to him?

It’s the way you communicate the way you’re feeling to him. You might even think of this as the “energy” that you’re bringing to him and your relationship.

I’m going to tell you what’s really going on with a man when this kind of thing is going on.

But first, I need you to do something.

I need you to stop what you’re doing right now.

Then I need you to stop your mind, stop your busy thoughts, and stop trying to “figure everything out.”

I’m going to suggest something you might not understand at first, but I know it’s really going to help -

You’re on the brink of becoming your own worst enemy here.

Why?

Because you’ve got a growing case of what I call the “over-analyzing blues.”

This is when you know there’s something going on with your man that you don’t get.

And since you don’t know what it is, and you’re feeling a bit uncertain about things…something bad starts to happen-

Your mind starts to fill in the blanks of each little thing he does and says with some kind of negative or fearful thought. (even if there’s nothing really wrong)

And this creates a negative feedback loop where-

The more you feel uncertain and unnerved by not knowing what’s going on…

The more things feel weird between you…

And thus the worse you feel…

And then the more negative stuff about him and his actions you think and worry about…

And so the more he acts strangely or more distant around you.

The cycle feeds itself and down and down you go.

STOP THE MADNESS.

What you focus on is what you get more of. So if you’re focused on what might be wrong, guess what?

You’re going to not only find something, you’ll create something to be wrong in the meantime- and nothing will happen to make anything BETTER.

I want you to do something right now.

I want you to clear your mind of all your thoughts about him.

I want you to picture yourself sitting in your own personal paradise- whatever or wherever that may be.

It could be on a white sand beach on a tropical island, or it could be on top of a rolling hill looking out over a plain.

Whatever it is, I want you to picture yourself in a place that calms and soothes you.

Now, I want you to picture something for me-

I want you to picture your guy there beside you, with his arms around you.

I want you to picture how loved and cared for and appreciated you feel with him, and how incredible it is when you’re both connected this way.

Go ahead and picture this.

Now, take that feeling that you’re having of the love and connection you feel to him, and take a minute to appreciate what it is that you and he share.

And take a minute to appreciate that feeling and feel GRATEFUL for him and who he is.

Let the love that you feel inside you grow stronger and richer and brighter.

Now that you can feel this love, I want you to think about how your man responds to you when you are this way with him.

Does he reject this kind of feeling from you?

Does he withdraw from this?

No, he doesn’t.

Like other men, he CRAVES being with the woman who is in this place of love, and who brings this incredible and irresistible energy to him.

Now that you see this… let me ask you-

How does this energy and love that you share, which your man craves and is the reason he’s with you… how does that compare to this uncertain and worried energy and over-analyzing that you’re bringing to him and your relationship now?

Think about it for a second.

..

..

And now, think about how this energy could be affecting him?

And how is it affecting you?

And how about your entire relationship?

Here’s the first thing I’m getting at-

What if the reason your man seems to be more distant or different with you isn’t because something is really wrong?

What if the reason is what YOU are bringing to him and your relationship with what you’re thinking and worrying about?

The energy you’re putting out there to him doesn’t sound like it’s the kind that would inspire him to feel energized and passionate around you.

And what do men do when they’re around a woman who’s going through intense emotions that they don’t understand?

What do men do when they don’t know what to do emotionally?

They hang back.

They “play it cool.”

Or they withdraw to a place where it’s easy breezy and there’s no heavy emotional stuff going on.

If you think you might be worrying about your relationship, and you find that this only seems to make your man MORE DISTANT… you might want to put 2 and 2 together here.

He might be feeling disconnected or distant from you because you’ve got so much going on in your head that he doesn’t get or even know about.

Danger. This is where you start turning perfectly healthy and normal situations into the kind of situations men can’t help but be baffled and frustrated by.

And more importantly, if you keep worrying about this and feeling uncertain and turn to him for answers to why you feel the way you do…guess what?

He’s likely not going to stand there with open arms waiting to hear and understand how you feel, and explain himself.

It would be great if men would always do this.

It would be great if a man would always be your “rock”.

What happens when they aren’t?

Should it all fall apart?

The truth is that men don’t often know what’s going with you, or why.

They just know if something feels heavy or intense to them.

And when this heavy energy starts to take over in your relationship… this is where a man will want to ESCAPE.

Which only makes you feel worse and seems to be a signal that something really is wrong.

Or is it?

By the way, I’ve finally created an all-in-one resource that will show you exactly how men think, what it means when they act the way you’re describing, and what to do about it that will quickly have him feeling CONNECTED and ENGAGED with you like it probably was in the beginning.

Men can and will predictably WITHDRAW once you get down the road in your relationship.

Knowing what this means and how to handle it is what can make all the difference, and can be what separates you from any other woman a man has ever dated by making him feel that you’re the right woman to be with.

Men get that magic “she’s the one” feeling not when they feel like they have to dig into the little things to make your relationship work- but when it feels EASY.

Once you know how men really think and feel, it’s not only going to feel easy for him… it’s going to BE EASY for YOU to get what YOU WANT in your relationship.

And you having the relationship you want is what this is really all about.

That’s why it’s time you stopped wondering what in the world is going on with men, and stopped feeling stuck or frustrated as the same “issues” keep coming up with men.

What if those issues are things that keep coming up because you haven’t learned how to avoid and move past them with men?

For all my very best tips and a complete guide to what men think and want when it comes to women,love and relationship you need to go check out my Inside The Mind Of A Man program.

In this program I’ll show you:

-The 8 Attraction Killers which are universal with all men

-The 3 Stages of Maturity in a man’s life, and how to identify and understand where your man is at, and what this means about how he’ll be with you in your relationship

-What leads men to cheat, and the best ways to PREVENT CHEATING in the first place

-What men really want and need to find in a woman if they’re going to want a long term, or even lifelong, love affair and relationship with you

-Exactly WHY men so often perceive women and their feelings as NEEDY… and what to say and do so your man not only listens to you but wants to know more.

-And lots more…

There’s so much I want you to know about men that’s going to instantly change the way you see things and shift things for you with men…

And that’s why I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you go and check out what’s in this program and take me up on my special offer.

You can try my new Inside The Mind Of A Man program absolutely free before deciding if you want to keep it.

All you have to do is go here right now and I’ll ship you a copy for you to try for 30 days.

It’s really that simple. And no hassles, no gotchas, no hidden fees if you don’t absolutely love it and want to keep it from all you’ll be getting from it about men.

Go here and try my program now:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

Oh, and -

I was really blown away by this email I got the other day and I can’t help but share it with you.

This woman’s love life was changed forever in a few short moments…

>>>>Letter From A Reader

Dear Christian:

Several months ago, I purchased your “Ready for Love” DVD program. It arrived, yet I didn’t open it for several months because I wasn’t “ready” for it.

I am 49 years old and spent 13 years with the man of my dreams (11 of them married). He decided that he didn’t want to be a husband anymore and we divorced in 2004.

For the past three years, I have been making mistakes, either not dating (hiding in my apartmentand just being “MOM” to my 13 year old daughter), dating the wrong men or just being downright miserable.

One weekend, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I opened the package and watched 3 of the DVDs. I watched the other 2 the following weekend. I was shocked at how much I learned about myself after viewing your program. I will highlight the three things that were most profound to me and have helped me tremendously:

Being able to articulate what love means to me, how I wanted it, yet blocked my ability to receive it. I have learned how to create a clear definition of what I truly want (this was hard).

Addressing my fears and looking at my behavior that stemmed from my fears, which in turn drew me to the wrong men or sabotaged a potentially good relationship. (”We attract what we project.”)

Understanding that a man is NOT the center of my universe, knowing that I am a goddess and that if I nurture myself more, I will attract and receive what I truly deserve! (thank YOU and Dr. Amir)

Now for the success story — thanks to your program and my newfound bravery, I began communicating with a guy I met online. He was saying all of the right things, but I still found myself a little scared. Nevertheless, by applying your principles, I got up the courage to go out on a date with him. Everything was fantastic, but in the back of my mind, I kept referring to what I learned from your program.

Let’s just say that five weeks later, things are still fantastic between us. We talk a lot, laugh a lot and share special times together. It’s not necessarily about “us” or the “future.” I’m not trying to prove to him how “worthy” I feel because he likes me. He is NOT the center of my universe — I still travel, go to the theater with friends and hang out with my daughter and treat myself like a goddess. However, this is so far the best man that I have met in a very long time. He has shared with me the fact that he feels “lucky” to have met me! The old me would have wondered what he was feeling so lucky about. Now I know.

Thanks Christian. You have made a believer out of me.

-C.C.

>>>>My Response

C.C.- he is lucky to have met you, and so am I.

Thanks for sharing and you made my day.

in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. What if you could go inside the mind of your man and finally know what he was thinking and feeling?

Now you can with my new Inside The Mind Of A Man program.

I’ve got a brand new program that is frankly exactly what lots of women who have been reading my newsletters have been asking for.

And now that they’ve got it and know what their man is really thinking, they can’t stop talking about the new world they’re living in.

EVERYTHING is easier for them now- from talking to their man, to having him coming to them wanting to open up, to getting the understanding and connection that they crave.

Do yourself, and the man you’re going to be with for as long as you want, a favor and check out my new Inside The Mind Of A Man program.

It’s here:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

And here’s what is even more fascinating and strange about how men think and feel…

If you don’t know how to create the right first impression with a man, then you just might get thrown into the “just a friend” category before you can even talk to or connect with him.

And guess what that means?

Everything that you do after a man gets that initial impression about you is run through the “she’s just a friend” filter… and this can make being in the “friend zone” almost inescapable.

ESPECIALLY if you’re looking to get involved with a man for MORE THAN JUST A FLING.

But, there IS something you can do about this.

If you want to learn the mistakes lots of women make in first and second impressions that land them in the “friend zone”…

And what you can do instead that will make him think “GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL” from the get-go, then keep reading…

WHY A MAN RECOGNIZES ONE WOMAN AS “RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL” AND ANOTHER AS JUST A “FLING”

Did you know that men have several specific terms and phrases that they use with each other to think of and describe women?

It’s a sort of “guy code” or short-hand slang that men everywhere use with each other and their friends.

One of my favorites that I’ve been hearing all my life from men is the term “Cool Girl.”

As in when a man says, “Yeah, I met this girl the other night and she was a really “cool girl”.

As simple as this sounds, the meaning that men give this term is important and applies to a set of very specific qualities.

Qualities that, although never actually discussed among men, are universally understood.

Quick quiz here for you:

1) You’ve got cool fashion sense.

2) Great taste in music.

3) You hang with the hippest friends at the best places.

4) And you’re often the life of the party.

So, that makes you a “Cool Girl”, right?

Not necessarily.

So, what in the world are men talking about?

And why are they so fickle?

Well, for starters, MEN DON’T MAKE SENSE. The more you try and use logic and reason to figure out or understand a man’s thinking and behavior, the more you’re going to become frustrated and upset.

It may seem simple or even downright ridiculous, but men think of women as “cool girls” when they see that a woman understands something that other women can’t even see going on.

Men see that a cool girl “gets it” on a level that lots of other women don’t.

They demonstrate to men certain social and motional understandings and ways of behaving that resonate deeply, without having to be talked about or explained.

You’ll hear different stats for this, but something around just 8% of communication is done through the actual spoken word.

We’re talking here about that AND the other 92%, which, for most women, is saying things to a man that they don’t even know they’re saying.

To put it another way, “cool girls” exude positive emotional energy that men can relate to.

And they’re “naturally” the kind of women who every man is inexplicably drawn to, even if they doesn’t look like a supermodel.

Want to know her secret?

In today’s email I’m going to reveal EXACTLY what makes you stand out as a “Relationship Material” (a “Cool Girl”) in a guy’s mind.

And we’ll talk about how you can harness your own power to become one.

But first, let’s learn what a cool girl ISN’T. Let me ask you a question:

Has a man ever accused you of being too “emotional?”

How about “moody?”

Or worse – maybe some guy actually called you “hysterical” or “needy”?

Whatever he called you, it was the start of him closing off or getting irritated with you and things going wrong in the conversation.

What’s frustrating for lots of women is that men often react this way when you simply bring up something you feel strongly about or you need to get off your chest.

Sure, maybe you got a little choked up or felt intense about it, but you were just being honest with your feelings.

Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this isn’t unusual for a man to do.

In fact, it’s standard behavior for most men to react to a woman with withdrawal or frustration in these kinds of conversations.

Is it the “right” thing for a man to do?

Obviously not. But you might be forgetting that MEN DON’T MAKE SENSE.

And don’t get me wrong…

I’m not saying that honesty isn’t important or that you’re not entitled to feel how you feel.

But, in order to make a relationship work, it’s CRITICAL for you to understand that men simply aren’t “wired” the same way that women are when it comes to connecting on an emotional level.

Men open up, connect, and become emotionally “committed” in different ways, and for different reasons than most women do.

Unfortunately, lots of women never really learn what these differences are… so they go about trying to build a connection, attraction, and a lasting relationship with a man by doing what would work FOR THEM.

You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that this approach rarely works.

If you want some specific insights about what most women do when they’re starting out in a relationship, or when they’re just trying to get closer to a man that only pushes him away…

Then you need to check out my eBook Catch Him & Keep Him.

There’s a specific section in the book I call “The Biggest Mistakes Women Make With Their Emotions” – and it talks about what this mistake so many women make is, how to avoid having a man pull away and resist you when you make it, and what to do instead.

If you’d like to learn why a man will react in a negative and fearful way to what you say about your feelings and emotions (even when what you’re saying is only for the good of your relationship and to show him you care), then go check out my eBook now.

You can read it and start improving your live life immediately.

It’s time to change the ways a man often responds to you with frustration or RESISTANCE.

Instead, learn what will get him to finally and at long last listen, learn, and connect with you on a deeper emotional level.

The key is UNDERSTANDING the “buttons” that will cause most men to stop listening and WITHDRAW… and instead learn how to communicate directly and easily with the part of his personality and mind that’s open and receptive to love, affection, and connection with you.

Men want love and to connect with a woman more than they like to show…

And part of you instinctively knows this.

If you want to learn more about how to create the kind of intense create attraction that will lead to him wanting much more than just a physical connection…

And will lead you both to connect with each other on a more lasting emotional level…

Then I suggest you check out the specifics I spell out in my eBook about the common behaviors that “cool girls” use to communicate with men and let them know they are “relationship material.”

You can download your free copy of my eBook and start reading it in literally minutes at the link below.

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

So, let’s keep talking about some of the important differences when it comes to communicating with a man, creating ATTRACTION, and growing towards something deeper.

Remember when I mentioned the idea of the “Cool Girl” earlier?

Well, “Cool Girls” understand the facts of life when it comes to how men can be different.

And what’s more… they make these differences work in their favor (and not against them like so many other unfortunate women).

It’s as if they’ve learned this unspoken “guy code” that most other women don’t even know is going on right in front of them.

Well, today I’m letting you in on some of these codes and guidelines… starting with a few of the big “Don’ts”:

“Cool Girl” DON’Ts:

- Cool Girls DON’T exaggerate about what’s going on around them or what a man’s doing, unless they’re doing it as a joke or to make fun of a man in a playful way.

- Cool Girls DON’T say everything that they’re feeling and experiencing. They think before they speak.   (Listen up to this one — it’s HUGE.)

- Cool Girls DON’T mention bad situations, issues or problems from the past unless it’s a total “must” or extremely important and they haven’t been able to talk about it yet. They find the right time for them AND their man to talk. Otherwise, Cool Girls live in the present moment.

- Cool Girls DON’T try to FORCE a man to talk about his feelings. They know that it will only backfire and he’ll think she’s being needy and close off.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking:

“How can they act like that? It sounds like ‘Cool Girls’ are totally fake or devoid of all natural emotion.”

Wrong.

“Cool girls” still experience all of the same thoughts and feelings any normal healthy woman has…

But, they’ve CHOSEN to adopt a different kind of behavior that will ultimately get them the response that they’re looking for with the man.

They acknowledge the irrational ways of men and let that help shape their actions, which results in very powerful, very positive reactions from the men in their lives.

Simply put, they’ve got guys eating out of their hand, even in situations where other women would have caused emotional turmoil and “drama.”

And, isn’t that something that YOU would love to have too?

It’s not manipulative or diabolical…it’s just plain common sense.

So, what are some of these “cool girl” behaviors and ways of non-verbally communicating?

I’ll get to that in just a minute…

First, let’s take a look at a letter from a reader with the potential to be a “Cool Girl” … if only she could keep her emotions from ruling her decisions:

>>>Email From A Reader:

Hi Christian,   I just purchased your book and I have to say my eyes started to open in just a few pages.   I KNOW I’ve been making the mistake of being too emotional.    First of all, I should give you some background.   My boyfriend is in the Air Force and he’s stationed in San Antonio. I live in Los Angeles.

Being in a long distance relationship has been very hard on me. Especially since I’m not a patient person.

We run into trouble when I’m feeling sad about not seeing him and call him up expecting him to make me feel better. I’m assuming that I shouldn’t lean on him emotionally since he doesn’t respond when I do.

I know he’s worth waiting for. I just don’t want to do stupid girl things that will drive him away :)    I love him completely. I want this relationship to work!!!!

Please send me any advice you can give me.

christine.

>>>My Response:

Ok, repeat after me. “I’m Christine, and I’m an Emotion-a-holic.”

Very good.

Now, say it one more time.

As they say in 12-Step programs, admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards recovery.

The thing is, I’m joking around with you and calling you names around this serious situation for a specific reason…

Because you’re acting like a helpless little girl so I have to make fun of you to get you to realize it.

Stop it!

Now, get ready for some tough love…

You’re better than how you’re behaving, but in a sick kind of way, it’s easier for you to keep on initiating the only real problem you spelled out here in your relationship:

How you make your man be the one responsible for you and your negative feelings.

A boyfriend is there for a lot of things in a relationship, but to make you feel good each time you get sad or down is NOT HIS JOB!

I’ll repeat that in case you didn’t hear me the first time -

It’s NOT HIS JOB to save you from the feelings you have and make them go away.

That’s called DEPENDENCY, and it leads both people to frustration and resenting each other in the long run.

Translation – there’s little hope for any LASTING or mutually fulfilling love in a situation that involves one person dependent on the other for approval, validation, or to experience love or joy in life.

And, in case you don’t already know this, creating and fostering this kind of dependency is one of the surefire ways to kill off any ATTRACTION you might already have going in a relationship.

Have you ever been with a man and had AMAZING chemistry… but then it started to unravel and fall apart when you became afraid he wasn’t “feeling it for you” anymore?

Which of course only made things worse as you acted out of fear and uncertainty about him, his feelings, and where things were headed

If you recognize this kind of situation, or any of this kind of thinking or behavior in yourself, then there is help.

Go check out my Natural & Lasting Attraction CD/DVD program.

In it you’ll learn how to create the kind of ATTRACTION and EXCITEMENT with a man that’s not just Physical and “temporary”…

But, also the kind of ATTRACTION that lets a man KNOW, on a deep emotional level, that YOU are the one woman he HAS TO BE AROUND.

This program will explain from A to Z how ATTRACTION really works with a man… and how to make it LAST in the way few other women know.

A man does NOT decide that a woman is “the one” for him because she has great qualities, or because she likes to go to the same places he does, or even because she has a great body. (I know it seems like men can be shallow sometimes.)

The truth is, a man wants to be with a woman, and only her, because of the way she makes him FEEL when he’s around her.

In other words, how much ATTRACTION she makes him feel when he’s around her.

Of course, if you don’t know how to create a deep level of Physical and Emotional Attraction with a man, all the convincing, arguing, pleading, or bribing him won’t make up for it.

He just won’t feel it.

This program will show you exactly how this kind of deep and lasting attraction works and how you can create and experience it with the man in your life.

Best of all, this program spells out how to do it all in easy-to-understand language. You’ll find it full of REAL WORLD examples and exercises to get you started using the concepts and “skills” in the program successfully.

To see a free video clip and hear what other women have to say about this program, go here and check out all the details now:

Natural & Lasting Attraction

Now, let’s get back to the topic of being DEPENDENT (or “needy”) when dating or in relationships…

In case you don’t see it, a man helping you to feel better and satisfy your emotional needs can actually make you a WEAKER PERSON.

And not only that, it can keep you and your relationship from ever being able to GROW.

In fact, being emotionally dependent on another person can actually cause a good relationship to REGRESS.

Here’s something you need to remember, but sometimes forget when you’re inside an intense emotional situation with a man:

Relationships are supposed to be about growth, and not about becoming dependent on someone else meeting your emotional needs at any time you want it.

And, part of you knows this about living a strong, “real” relationship – that it can’t meet all your emotional needs.

But, part of you also wants and DEMANDS that a man acknowledge and satisfy your feelings and desires.

Part of you has the habit of wanting instant emotional gratification.

“Love on demand.”

Let me give it to you straight.

It’s a man’s place in a relationship to be a good partner, to care for you, to listen, to be a great lover, to connect, to be loyal, and to share.

I get than men need to “show up” more often in relationships.

But…

When you DEMAND that a man meet your emotional needs and “lean” on him out of your own fears, frustrations, and uncertainty… these problems are ALL YOUR OWN.

And the truth is most men will eventually become tired and fed up with a woman who is constantly DEMANDING emotional approval and understanding from him… instead of finding a way to create the experience so that both she AND he feel like they are having their needs met.

So, let’s take some positive steps, because things still aren’t so bad.

First, for your own good, you need to figure out WHY you’re “sad”, as you mentioned in your email.

And I mean why you’re sad personally, because I think a lot of what’s happening has nothing to do with the man in your life at all.

Sure he makes mistakes and doesn’t “get it”.

But, you can get past that.

You need to address the CAUSE of your feelings, and not keep trying to find “quick-fixes” for the symptoms.

Think about it, and see if there’s anything else in your life and in the past that could be making you feel sad – and then take some positive steps around those.

Secondly, it’s time to start acting like the smart, fun, mature, healthy woman that he knows and fell in love with.

She’s in there somewhere, and it’s up to you to find her. Don’t leave it up to him, because he might get tired of carrying the relationship’s emotional tone for you.

Here’s a few ideas about how to do that:

I want you to stop acting SO SERIOUS all the time and getting yourself EMOTIONALLY WORKED UP.

It sounds dumb, but please start smiling more.

Your body has a strange and powerful ability to affect your emotions.

Posture, breathing, activity and actual relaxation are other great ways to simply give yourself the gift of more positive emotions.

Ok, now back to your brain…

You’re escalating your own fears and frustrations and it’s doing something that could turn into a real destructive force in your relationship:

You’re creating a negative feedback loop that just gets worse and worse as it goes.

Let’s spell out what your feedback loop is so you can interrupt it and get to better things…

The more you feel sad, the more you give him sad and negative emotions.

And, the more negative emotions he gets from you, the less he’s able to stay happy and positive himself and have the energy and desire to draw you out of your girlish sadness and dependency on him for your feelings.

Which of course, only makes you feel more sad and helpless, so you turn to him more for help and around we go again.

Don’t let the NEGATIVE FEARS and EMOTIONS you have RUIN THE LOVE LIFE you could have.

Learning to stop negative patterns in your life and relationships is a “must-have” skill if you want to have lasting and loving relationships.

The thing is, most people know that relationships take work.

And long-distance relationships can feel like even more work and give back even less immediate “rewards.”

Every phone call seems to have life-or-death importance…

Every call, letter, and email is examined for subtext and clues.

Every weekend visit has to be PERFECT or you start to question everything.

It’s only natural to feel a little more “needy” or feel like your emotions are heightened all the time.

But, the trick is not to let these feelings overwhelm you.

If you do, they’ll cause you to REACT negatively to normal and natural situations.

When these negative reactions become common, they keep you from actually doing positive things
that would make him feel MORE ATTRACTED and CONNECTED to you.

And so the negative feedback loop continues.

A COMMON “EMOTIONAL CHALLENGE” IN RELATIONSHIPS

Most people don’t truly think about and appreciate the emotional “challenge” that comes with committing to a mature, long-term relationship like the one you’re working on…

I’ll bet that your relationship sometimes feels like just a lot of work and sadness to you.

And as much as it scares you to death, you know in the back of your mind that your man feels the same way and sees what’s happening.

He’s not stupid.

I’ll cut to the chase…

NOBODY wants their life or relationship to feel like it’s just a bunch of work.

And, a healthy-minded person will only stay around so long in a situation that just doesn’t work and isn’t going to change.

Especially if they’re trying to resolve a problem or feeling that isn’t really their own.

The sad feelings that you depend on your guy to fix create this situation in the worst way.

Not to mention that your sadness makes him see you as weak and much less ATTRACTIVE as a woman and partner.

In fact, as much as it stinks to hear, I’ve got to tell you that one reason it might be getting harder for your man to “pull you out” of your sadness is that he’s FEELING LESS ATTRACTED to you.

And with a man, LESS ATTRACTION leads to LESS EMOTIONAL CONNECTION and less emotional generosity.

Following me here?

I know it stinks, and I might be a jerk in your mind for saying it, but the good news is that it’s also easily fixed if you know how to get the real ATTRACTION you used to share back again.

And, I’m here to help. Get yourself a copy of my Natural & Lasting Attraction program right now and you WILL get this area of your life back on track.

I know you can, because I’ve helped TONS of other women just like you to go from frustrated and hopeless in their love life… to getting back the hope, the joy, and the confidence that comes from the certainty of knowing that a man is feeling a deep level of connection and attraction for you.

So don’t wait. Go to the link below and I’ll send you a free 30-day trial of this program.

If you don’t get everything you want out of this program and start getting the RESULTS you’re looking for with a man in your love life after working with the materials, then just send it back by the end of the trial and you won’t pay a thing.

No hassles.

Now’s the time to take the next step in your love life and make the connection, passion, and commitment a man has with you UNBREAKABLE because of how he FEELS when he’s around you.

Go here to watch some free video clips from the program and get your trial copy now:

Natural & Lasting Attraction

There’s something you’re not doing that you’re going to HAVE TO DO to stay sane and make it through this with your man…

You have to make A CONSCIOUS CHOICE about your feelings and your situation.

If you don’t, you’ll keep missing or killing all the opportunities for CONNECTION and FUN that still need to be going on between you two.

You see, the goal isn’t to keep yourself from having sad or negative feelings.

That would be impossible and “inhuman.”

Reality just doesn’t work that way, no matter how great your relationship is.

Instead, the goal is to get to a place where you can begin to observe how you’re feeling and then make conscious decisions using BOTH your emotions and your intellect.

When you get involved in a relationship, especially a long-term relationship, you’re CHOOSING to make some very important TRADE-OFFS.

Every once in a while, you need to remind yourself of these trade-offs, as it will give you a renewed understanding of the small sacrifices you’ve made for the good things in your life.

But, you keep going back and creating sad feelings for the situation that you chose.

Almost like these bad things just happened to you and you couldn’t do anything about them.

Again, stop playing the helpless woman.

Of course you’re going to feel sad, frustrated, and upset if you’re not recognizing that YOU chose this situation as a trade-off to continue with the great guy and relationship you’ve got.

Realize that you choose your life when it comes to most of the situations you find yourself in.

THE POWER OF CHOOSING TO CREATE ATTRACTION AND A POSITIVE CONNECTION WITH A MAN

What you’ve been doing in the past isn’t working for you or him, (not really) and it CAN’T feel good.

Do you really like the feeling you get when you dump your sad feelings on your boyfriend and he disappoints you sometimes with his response?

Makes you feel kind of low, right?

You said it yourself: when you’re feeling down, you call him, expecting him to make you feel better.

It’s not that he doesn’t care…

It’s that he doesn’t RESPOND to the way you communicate.

When men hear women getting emotional, they usually do one of two things:

1. Immediately go into “Action Mode” and try to “fix” the problem with concrete solutions (and that’s not usually what women want to hear)

2. SHUT DOWN

And I think you know which one happens more often from experience, right?

Well, either way, both of these responses never result in the comforting reaction that you might be looking for.

Can I get a witness?

So, let’s go back to this idea of “cool girls.”

“Cool girls” know how to communicate with a man in a way that leads a man to respond in a way that works.

So, no more of that nonsense talk from your email saying, “I’m not a patient person.”

You don’t have to be.

It just takes the emotional maturity to recognize that the trade-offs – that you yourself have already CHOSEN – are some of the challenges here.

Stop playing victim to your own choices and start finding reasons to be interesting and ATTRACTIVE to him again.

Your man WILL RESPOND in kind.

“Cool girls” know this.

Here’s a few of the “cool girl” Do’s:

- Cool girls choose not to complain or talk about things for too long that are not other people’s responsibility or impossible for anyone to solve, given the current situation.

- Cool girls bring funny positive thoughts and feelings to situations to create an experience that men will want to have again and again.

- Cool girls know that they don’t have to control much with the situation around them for their own comfort and to get the outcomes or responses they want. They’re willing to go with the flow when it comes to social things, but make assertions when they have opinions and ideas.

- Cool girls have options and things to do that keep them satisfied so they don’t feel like they’re left out if they’re not invited to something. (And even if the don’t they certainlydon’t complain about it or even mention it — they FIND something to do that makes them happy.)

- Cool girls prefer that a man makes up his own mind; they don’t try to make a man do something she says or she can tell he doesn’t want to do.

- Cool girls DO know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how men will feel about them.

So, are YOU a “cool girl?”

Are you the kind of woman that men are “naturally” drawn to and want to be with… for more than just a fling?

Do you know what the other 92% of your communication (the non-verbal communication) is saying to a man?

And do you get how to say all the right things verbally and non-verbally to let him instantly know that you’re the kind of girl he’d like to connect with and fall in love with?

My eBook Catch Him And Keep Him teaches the most critical “real world” strategies you need to know to find and live the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

It’s even got lots more psychological, emotional and behavioral insights about the “cool girl” that men naturally respond to in dating and relationships.

The entire first section of my book is THE definitive guide to understanding how attraction works for men and their natural (and sometimes irrational) biological differences that “cool girls” get.

Each page of this section is full of concepts and ideas to help you learn exactly what goes on inside a man’s mind, how attraction works for him and how to turn that initial connection into a lifelong commitment.

And, if that isn’t all you’re after, the second section of the book is all about the “emotional world” of men and women.

If you’ve ever wondered why a man reacted the way he did, why he withdrew, or why heresponded with frustration when all you were looking for was emotional connection, then you’ve got to read this section, too.

You can download my eBook and be reading it in just a few minutes by going here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Here’s the thing:

Every man can end up seeing a woman as “relationship material”… but, not every woman knows how to make this happen with her.

And every man can date a woman and end up in a relationship for a little while, but not every woman knows how to keep things growing through the good and the bad so that love and commitment LASTS.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

How can you tell if it’s too early to sleep with a man? And what can you do if you’ve ALREADYbeen physical and now he’s stopped calling for no apparent reason whatsoever?

I received an email from a reader who went through this exact situation.

I think you’ll “feel her pain” and see why I wanted to respond to her.

This sort of dreadful situation happens with lots of women, and it leaves them feeling helpless and bad about themselves and sometimes about men in general.

So, would you like to know what’s going on with a man in this situation and how to handle it?

Keep reading…

>>>> Question From A Reader

Hi Christian

I’ve just bought your book….I’m from Thailand and I appreciated your book so much. Unfortunately, I read the lesson about Thinking in Time Frames where you taught how to let a man wait for sex… but I’ve already made that mistake and had sex with him. I want a more serious relationship and I told him afterwards, but as you told me he would, he became impatient when we talked and it made me so frustrated and upset.

Now he’s acting distant. So, what should I do to rewire our relationship and make him see my worth?

I feel so disappointed about my actions. Christian, please help me.

Best regards,

J from Thailand

>>>>My Response

I want to give you a big hug… and then a hard dose of REALITY.

Ok, listen closely.

Here’s something you NEVER EVER want to forget.

It’s the real truth about how most men think when it comes to sex and “dating” in casual and UNCOMMITTED relationships…

Ready?

Just because a man has sex with a woman, it doesn’t mean that he’s spent even a second of his time deciding whether or not he wants to be with her or have a relationship in the future.

In other words… a man’s not going to ever “see your worth” just because you’ve slept with him.

And more to the point, it is NOT the Physical Attraction a man feels for a woman, and getting close to her physically, that makes a man really “feel it” for you and want more.

Sex does NOT equal a relationship for a man.

In fact, since you don’t seem to be getting what’s going on with men at all… I’m going to tell you that you need to think of sex and relationships as two completely different things which have nothing to do with one another.

What makes a man “see your worth” and end up FEELING so strongly for you that he wants a real relationship is something other than sex and PHYSICAL desire and ATTRACTION.

Got it?

Ok, good.

Here’s the thing…

I don’t know if you see this, but you’ve moved on to wanting “something serious” right after you and he had sex- thinking that sex of course means there SHOULD be a relationship and he should feel the same way about you.

Not true.

The decision to have sex with a woman often has NOTHING to do with whether a man has decided that he wants to “date” you more seriously.

And sure… it would be nice if men were different and didn’t take sex so lightly.

And it would be great if a man let you know how he felt and what he really wanted before he slept with you…

But that’s not the reality of how men think.

Here’s another thing you need to understand-

I’m willing to bet that you’re not entirely innocent here, either.

You contributed to the situation, too.

Let me ask you…

Were you up-front and honest about what you were looking for BEFORE you slept with him?

Did you say to him-

“If we sleep together, I’m going to want a relationship.”

Or…

“I only sleep with a man if he already values me and sees me for the amazing woman that I am.”

My guess is no, you didn’t say anything like that.

You probably did what lots of women do in the “casual dating” situation when it comes to sex-

You gave him NO impression about whether you were in it for the fun and connection of it all with him, or for something more “serious.”

You thought the act of sex alone would speak for itself.

Wrong.

Here a few of the mistakes women make that get them into tough situations like yours:

-Not saying anything about what it means for you to share yourself with him because you keep telling yourself that he feels the same way you do… and you assume he wants a relationship because he wants to sleep with you

-Not saying anything about your feelings or about wanting a relationship because you thought it might “weird him out” or make it awkward.

-Not knowing exactly know how you feel and what sleeping with him will mean to you until AFTER you sleep with him and a whole rush of feelings hits you like a tidal wave

If you’ve ever felt hurt because you became physical with a man and he ended up not having an interest in “dating” or starting a relationship, then odds are you can look back and see that you did one or more of the things above.

Of course, it doesn’t seem like it’s you who is making a mistake in these situations.

It feels like THE MAN you’re with is the one who obviously doesn’t get it, and is a player for not being ready for a relationship.

Unfortunately, this is the exact kind of thinking that makes it so frustrating and difficult for some women to figure out how to move from just “dating” a guy to becoming physical and starting an exclusive, committed
relationship.

If you’re like lots of women, you been “caught up” in that moment and ended up sleeping with a man you weren’t in a relationship with, thinking that you’re ok with it… and that it will be a good thing.

But then your true feelings snuck up on you and you started to freak out and feel awful when you saw that the man you shared yourself with wasn’t on the same page (wanting a relationship).

You created EXPECTATIONS from the situation that he had no part in deciding about or even discussing, and now he’s freaked because you’re confronting him with what YOU feel and what he SHOULD want, when he hasn’t even figured that out for himself yet.

Which leaves him wondering how he’s going to backpeddle out of this one…

GIVING AWAY YOUR “SELF” TO A MAN

I’ve got an important question for you…

Who made this guy the final judge of your “worth” as a woman?

The answer:

You did.

So cut it out. He’s obviously not the one who holds the true measure of your worth… and he can neither give you your worth, nor can he take it away.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret.

I bet I know WHY you slept with him even though in reality you weren’t really comfortable with doing so…

You did it because you were seeking his LOVE and APPROVAL… but doing it in the worst kind of way.

You’re waiting and wanting HIM to be the strong, masculine man who will lead YOU into open and unrestrained love.

That way you can SURRENDER to the deep kind of love that you truly desire from a man.

Unfortunately, that’s not what’s happening or how he FEELS with you right now.

But deep down, you believe that if you can come up with enough “proof” that he should love and value you, and if you can make things “perfect” between you two, then he’ll become the open and loving man you imagine him to be.

That’s not how love, or relationships work.

It’s time for the little girl who’s seeking a man’s approval in order to experience love to grow up.

It’s time for you to stop hoping that a man will become the man you want him to be, when he is CLEARLY showing you that he doesn’t even have a clue about what love is or how be with a woman.

You’ve gotta stop banking on what you think this relationship COULD BE, and what I call his “future potential” and start opening your eyes to WHAT IS.

You’re so wrapped up in his perspective, what he’s doing, his feelings, his emotions and his desires (or lack thereof) that you’ve all but forgotten about something WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

What YOU really want.

I’ll take a wild guess here and bet that the kind of guy that you truly want isn’t a guy who is going to freak out or act distant just because you’re telling him how you’re feeling after you’ve already slept together.

Of course not.

So why are you wasting your energy trying to plead with him and CONVINCE him just so you can get the love and approval of someone who acts like a person you don’t even want to be with?!

That’s right, you DON’T want to be doing this, but you don’t feel like you can help yourself right now.

There’s a better way…

Let’s move on to figuring out what to do NOW…

LOVE, SEX AND THE MIND OF THE “MASCULINE MAN”

I’m going to give you a short lesson on the quasi-biological reasons men act the way they do when it comes to sex.

Pay careful attention here.

Each person has a certain balance of masculine and feminine “energy.”

Obviously, men have more masculine and women have more feminine, but every person can have a little of both.

The feminine energy grows with connection and love, and with “surrender” to all kinds of joyful experiences.

This is often why women feel a sense of connection and surrendering with sex, and often have deeper feelings for a man afterwards.

But the masculine energy doesn’t work this way. At least the “darker” part of a man.

The masculine energy seeks CHALLENGE and a feeling of “emptiness” and “freedom.”

Have you ever heard a man talk about how he wanted his “freedom”… and you wondered what in the world he was talking about?

This “freedom” or emptiness is actually the masculine means of surrender and fulfillment.

Just as the feminine means is connection and loving.

Ever noticed that lots of men fall right to sleep or act like they’re off somewhere else after sex?

It’s because the tension of reaching their “challenge” (sex) is released, and now they feel a sense of emptiness and freedom from that tension.

With sex, a man doesn’t automatically “surrender” to love and connection the way a woman does… unless he LEARNS to.

And here’s another way of looking at it…

Have you noticed that most men don’t have the same strong drive to be deeply and unwaveringly CONNECTED to the people around them like most women do?

They don’t call their friends and talk on the phone on a regular basis and they don’t worry about how “close” their relationships to their friends and family are at any given moment.

Oftentimes, they’re driven by something that has nothing to do with love, intimacy and connection.

Yeah, I know. Men seem CRAZY and messed up and different.

But men don’t have to be bizarre and strange this way.

Men can become more emotionally-conscious and aware of what’s going on around them in love and relationships.

And if they have a woman who “gets it”, something amazing can happen-

If a man has those intense strong feelings that make him feel physically and EMOTIONALLY CONNECTEDto a woman… then she can lead and challenge him in ways that will make him grow into a great lover and partner.

For instance, a woman can help a man understand how to finally find the “freedom” he looks for in a new way- through LOVE and connected experience.

THE FEELING YOU NEED TO CREATE INSIDE A MAN BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX

Here’s the thing…

Yes, you might have “goofed” by being physical with him too early.

You know, before you were clear about what YOU wanted, so that you wouldn’t get hurt if you found
out he didn’t want the same thing.

But stop being so hard on yourself. It’s the past, and it’s not the problem now.

The real problem now is something entirely different.

Sleeping or being physical with a man is NOT a bad thing.

But FIRST you’ve got to CREATE the right FEELINGS inside him- feelings that have nothing to do with SEX- for sex to end up truly bringing you closer in love.

A man won’t “fall” for you just because you’ve slept together. Although, it’s likely that YOU will feel more bonded to him after sleeping with him.

It’s part of the biological make-up of a woman and a man. It’s the way things are “wired.”

So you want to know how to “re-wire” things?

First of all, stop hoping the fact that you’ve had sex to magically win him over into being an open and loving partner like you are.

Then go back and read the section in Chapter 8 of my e-book called “Triggering A Deeper Level Of Attraction In A Man.”

What you need to know is there.

In it, I explain in detail what that OTHER kind of ATTRACTION is that goes deeper than just the everyday PHYSICAL ATTRACTION a man can feel for you…

Plus, I show you HOW to make a man start experiencing this other kind of attraction for you, and what to do to keep that feeling inside him growing more and more intense to the point where he can’t help but want to be with you and only you.

When a man feels ATTRACTION for you in this way, then he will become EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED to you on a deeper level than he ever could simply through his physical desire for you.

You know a man has intense physical desires.

That’s easy.

But have you taken the time to learn how the deeper, more “relationship-oriented” feelings and emotions are created inside him?

The feelings that make a man want to be with one woman in a committed relationship are different than what makes A WOMAN open to exploring a relationship.

If you’re reading this and haven’t downloaded a copy of my e-book yet, be sure to go here and be reading that section within minutes:

Catch Him and Keep Him

But let’s keep going and I’ll touch on a few of the same points that are in there.

Ever thought about what a man really wants in a woman?

I’m talking about mature, healthy men here. Not “man-boys” or “players”, who have a totally different agenda altogether.

**Men want someone that they feel deeply ATTRACTED to.**

They want to have that feeling of WANTING a woman.

They want to worship her, to please her, to ravish her, and to sweep her off her feet with their physical and emotional presence.

And for the woman to be utterly and completely taken with them and what they do.

So, what happens when men act like they’re not interested in anything serious or don’t want a relationship or their too busy to have one… or any other of a list of lame excuses they give you?

This happens because most women don’t create the experience that will make a man FEEL this way.

Plain and simple.

A man is looking for that “WOW!” experience with a woman.

And when he doesn’t feel it, there’s nothing a woman who doesn’t make him FEEL this way can do or say to make him want something more with her.

He just loses interest and moves on.

The other thing to know is that men have something that I call the “Pursuit Gene.”

There’s a drive in men that makes them want to be CHALLENGED… and to overcome that challenge.

I know it sounds clich‚, but it’s true.

Men want to be challenged by the idea of meeting, attracting, and pursuing a woman.

And then they want to win the woman over and feel stronger as a man for having done it.

Men will meet this challenge in one of two ways -

1. They’ll find fulfillment from the feeling of “freedom” and emptiness by physically being with a woman in the short-term (sex)

2. They find connection and love by physically AND emotionally being with the woman in a deeper and “longer-term” way (relationship)

Here’s the AMAZING part…

A woman helps him choose which it will be with her.

Interesting…

The point is, men LOVE the chase.

It’s part of their genetic make-up.

But if a woman loses control emotionally, seeks HIS APPROVAL or thinks she can trade sex to receive love before a man is experiencing an intense desire to WIN HER OVER and to be with her, then something bad happens.

The man loses that feeling of excitement and challenge with her.

He recognizes that the woman has already given over physical and emotional CONTROL to him.

Which destroys the strongest “lead-in” to creating lasting love with a man.

What is that “lead-in”?

ATTRACTION.

Men want to feel ATTRACTION.

They don’t want a woman to try to convince them that what they’re experiencing and feeling should be meaningful and loving.

No. That’s not how men work.

Instead, they want to FEEL their desire for a woman inside their whole body, emotionally driving them, and for it to be undeniable and unrelenting.

Get where I’m going here?

So if you don’t allow a man to FEEL that desire, to feel like he can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you BEFORE you sleep with him, it’ll won’t create a situation where he’s going to want anything more than a fleeting sexual experience.

There is a way to get a man FEELING it for you.

There are specific behaviors and attitudes that make a woman literally IRRESISTIBLE to a man, so that he will feel that strong desire to be with you before, during and the all-important AFTER getting physically intimate with him.

And he will not only be “open” to talking about something deeper and more meaningful with you, he’ll INSIST on it.

In fact, I’ve put together an entire program about what it is that makes a man fall madly for you because he just can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you.

This program is Natural & Lasting Attraction and in it, I explain exactly what a woman can do and say to push all the “right buttons” to create EMOTIONAL attraction.

I also reveal little-known secrets such as:

-How to spot and identify an immature man QUICKLY so you never again waste your time on someone who
doesn’t deserve you

-The 5 things about a woman that a man is genetically programmed to be attracted to… and how to quickly let a man know you possess ALL these qualities

-The mysterious “missing ingredient” that makes a man interested in MUCH MORE than just a short fling or affair

-And tons more…

I explain it all right here in a special letter I wrote about “Natural & Lasting Attraction” that you can read right now by clicking here:

Natural & Lasting Attraction

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love,

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. As with all my programs, “Natural & Lasting Attraction” is yours FREE to try out for a full month before you need to pay anything.

I even pay to ship the order to you, so there are no “hidden costs.”

You don’t have to keep it or pay for it if you don’t think it’s the most revolutionary relationship advice you’ve ever heard. Simply return within the first month and you won’t be charged a dime.

You have nothing to lose, and so much to gain once you start doing what really works to make a man find you IRRESISTIBLE to the point that he has to be the one man who gets your time and attention.

Go here now:

Natural & Lasting Attraction

Of course… he wouldn’t talk to you about it or tell you. He was just quiet and withdrawn.

Trying to figure out what your man is thinking can be a dangerous game.

Not only does trying to figure him out often end up pushing your man away on accident, it usually drives you a little nuts.

Which only makes things worse.

Stop wondering and worrying when you don’t have to anymore. It’s time you got to the heart of the matter and stopped going in circles with men and relationships.

I’ve put together an entire in-depth program all about what men really think, feel and want with women.

And of course I cover why they do those “guy things” that drive so many women crazy in relationships (and how to avoid them yourself).

Check out my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program here now:

Inside the Mind of a Man

Here’s a letter I got recently from a reader that I wanted to respond to…

In my response I share some tips and insights into what’s going on with her man as she’s sensing something wrong but can’t put her finger on it, while he won’t talk to her.

Read on to find out what’s going on…

>>>>Letter From A Reader

Hi Christian

I have read your e-book which has helped answer a lot of my questions about men and relationships. I am also in the process of listening to your “ready for Love” CDs.

I have been having a long distance relationship with a man with whom the chemistry and the connection was amazing from the start. We have been seeing each other for almost 4 months now. We fell in love and he has confessed it so to me. He also has mentioned to me that he feels I am his soul mate.

He travels around the world working for an oil company and during his last trip which has taken a month things are changing. He does not call me as often, does not write emails to me as often and blames it on the time difference and mood differences and being stressed and busy. All started to get worse when in my frustrations I started feeling anxiety and reacting by also not calling him as often and being cold and distant.

Before I started acting this way I did ask why he was not calling and communicated that expectation with him. I think he is pulling away and so not know what to do. I am in love with him and do not know if I should bother him by calling or I should just stand back and wait for him to make his move when ready. He was very attentive and used to call a lot more before even when he was traveling.

Did I act needy? Is there hope? What should I do?

In need of your help.

-A.

>>>>My Response

Ok, I’m glad you asked.

Here’s something you should know-

It is possible for a man to sense what you’re calling “needy” without you even saying anything.

And…

It’s possible that even though your normal feelings of wondering what’s going on aren’t wrong or needy in an unhealthy way… your man might FEEL like you’re being too needy.

The result- he’s not showing you the same level of interest and attraction not because you did something wrong, but because of how he is FEELING.

So what’s the difference between what is actually needy, and what a man thinks is needy and unattractive?

It’s the way you communicate how you’re feeling to him. You might even think of this as the “energy” that you’re bringing to him and your relationship.

I’m going to tell you what’s really going on with a man when this kind of thing is happening.

But first, I need you to do something.

I need you to stop what you’re doing right now.

Then I need you to stop your mind, stop your busy thoughts, and stop trying to “figure everything out.”

I’m going to suggest something you might not understand at first, but I know it’s really going to help.

You’re on the brink of becoming your own worst enemy here.

Why?

Because you’ve got a growing case of what I call the “over-analyzing blues.”

This is when you know there’s something going on with your man that you don’t get.

And since you don’t know what it is, and you’re feeling a bit uncertain about things, something bad starts to happen -

Your mind starts to fill in the blanks of each little thing he does and says with some kind of negative or fearful thought (even if there’s nothing really wrong).

And this creates a negative feedback loop where-

The more you feel uncertain and unnerved by not knowing what’s going on…

The more things feel weird between you…

And thus the worse you feel…

And then the more negative stuff about him and his actions you think and worry about…

And so the more he acts strangely or more distant around you.

The cycle feeds itself and down and down you go.

STOP THE MADNESS.

What you focus on is what you get more of. So if you’re focused on what might be wrong, guess what?

You’re going to not only find something, you’ll create something to be wrong in the meantime- and nothing will happen to make anything BETTER.

I want you to do something right now.

I want you to clear your mind of all your thoughts about him.

I want you to picture yourself sitting in your own personal paradise- whatever or wherever that may be.

It could be on a white sand beach on a tropical island, or it could be on top of a rolling hill looking out over a plain.

Whatever it is, I want you to picture yourself in a place that calms and soothes you.

Now, I want you to picture something for me-

I want you to picture your guy there beside you, with his arms around you.

I want you to picture how loved and cared for and appreciated you feel with him, and how incredible it is when you’re both connected this way.

Go ahead and picture this.

Now, take that feeling that you’re having of the love and connection you feel to him, and take a minute to appreciate what it is that you and he share.

And take a minute to appreciate that feeling and feel GRATEFUL for him and who he is.

Let the love that you feel inside you grow stronger and richer and brighter.

Now that you can feel this love, I want you to think about how your man responds to you when you are this way with him.

Does he reject this kind of feeling from you?

Does he withdraw from this?

No, he doesn’t.

Like other men, he CRAVES being with the woman who is in this place of love, and who brings this incredible and irresistible energy to him.

Now that you see this… let me ask you-

How does this energy and love that you share, which your man craves and is the reason he’s with you… how does that compare to this uncertain and worried energy and over-analyzing that you’re bringing to him and your relationship now?

Think about it for a second.

..

..

And now, think about how this energy could be affecting him?

And how is it affecting you?

And how about your entire relationship?

Here’s the first thing I’m getting at:

What if the reason your man seems to be more distant or different with you isn’t because something is really wrong?

What if the reason is what YOU are bringing to him and your relationship with what you’re thinking and worrying about?

The energy you’re putting out there to him doesn’t sound like it’s the kind that would inspire him to feel energized and passionate around you.

And what do men do when they’re around a woman who’s going through intense emotions that they don’t understand?

What do men do when they don’t know what to do emotionally?

They hang back.

They “play it cool.”

Or they withdraw to a place where it’s easy and there’s no heavy emotional stuff going on.

If you think you might be worrying about your relationship, and you find that this only seems to make your man MORE DISTANT… you might want to put 2 and 2 together here.

He might be feeling disconnected or distant from you because you’ve got so much going on in your head that he doesn’t get or even know about.

Danger! This is where you start turning perfectly healthy and normal situations into the kind of situations men can’t help but be baffled and frustrated by.

And more importantly, if you keep worrying about this and feeling uncertain and turn to him for answers to why you feel the way you do…guess what?

He’s likely not going to stand there with open arms waiting to hear and understand how you feel, and explain himself.

It would be great if men would always do this.

It would be great if a man would always be your “rock”.

What happens when they aren’t?

Should it all fall apart?

The truth is that men don’t often know what’s going with you, or why.

They just know if something feels heavy or intense to them.

And when this heavy energy starts to take over in your relationship… this is where a man will want to ESCAPE.

Which only makes you feel worse and seems to be a signal that something really is wrong.

Or is it?

By the way, I’ve created an all-in-one resource that will show you exactly how men think, what it means when they act the way you’re describing, and what to do about it that will quickly have him feeling CONNECTED and ENGAGED with you like it probably was in the beginning.

Men can and will predictably WITHDRAW once you get down the road in your relationship.

Knowing what this means and how to handle it is what can make all the difference, and can be what separates you from any other woman a man has ever dated by making him feel that you’re the right woman to be with.

Men get that magic “she’s the one” feeling not when they feel like they have to dig into the little things to make your relationship work but when it feels EASY.

Once you know how men really think and feel, it’s not only going to feel easy for him… it’s going to be EASY for YOU to get what YOU WANT in your relationship.

And you having the relationship you want is what this is really all about.

That’s why it’s time you stopped wondering what in the world is going on with men, and stopped feeling stuck or frustrated as the same “issues” keep coming up with them.

What if those issues are things that keep coming up because you haven’t learned how to avoid or move past them?

For all my very best tips and a complete guide to what men think and want when it comes to women, love and relationships, go check out my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program.

In this program I’ll show you:

-The 8 Attraction Killers which are universal with all men

-The 3 Stages of Maturity in a man’s life, and how to identify and understand where your man is, and what this means about how he’ll be with you in your relationship

-What leads men to cheat, and the best ways to PREVENT CHEATING in the first place

-What men really want and need to find in a woman if they’re going to want a long-term, or even lifelong, love affair and relationship with you

-Exactly WHY men so often perceive women and their feelings as NEEDY… and what to say and do so your
man not only listens to you but wants to know more

-And lots more…

There’s so much I want you to know about men that’s going to instantly change the way you see things and shift things for you…

And that’s why I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you go and check out what’s in this program and take me up on
my special offer.

You can try my Inside the Mind of a Man program absolutely free before deciding if you want to keep it.

All you have to do is go here right now and I’ll ship you a copy for you to try for 30 days.

It’s really that simple. And no hassles, no gotchas, no hidden fees if you don’t absolutely love it and want to keep it from all you’ll be getting from it about men.

Go here and try my program now:

Inside the Mind of a Man

Oh -

I was really blown away by this email I got the other day and I can’t help but share it with you.

This woman’s love life was changed forever in a few short moments…

>>>>Letter From A Reader

Dear Christian:

Several months ago, I purchased your “Ready for Love” DVD program. It arrived, yet I didn’t open it for several months because I wasn’t “ready” for it.

I am 49 years old and spent 13 years with the man of my dreams (11 of them married). He decided that he didn’t want to be a husband anymore and we divorced in 2004.

For the past three years, I have been making mistakes, either not dating (hiding in my apartment and just being “MOM” to my 13 year old daughter), dating the wrong men or just being downright miserable.

One weekend, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I opened the package and watched 3 of the DVDs. I watched the other 2 the following weekend. I was shocked at how much I learned about myself after viewing your program. I will highlight the three things that were most profound to me and have helped me tremendously:

Being able to articulate what love means to me, how I wanted it, yet blocked my ability to receive it. I have learned how to create a clear definition of what I truly want (this was hard).

Addressing my fears and looking at my behavior that stemmed from my fears, which in turn drew me to the wrong men or sabotaged a potentially good relationship. (”We attract what we project.”)

Understanding that a man is NOT the center of my universe, knowing that I am a goddess and that if I nurture myself more, I will attract and receive what I truly deserve! (thank YOU and Dr. Amir)

Now for the success story — thanks to your program and my newfound bravery, I began communicating with a guy I met online. He was saying all of the right things, but I still found myself a little scared. Nevertheless, by applying your principles, I got up the courage to go out on a date with him. Everything was fantastic, but in the back of my mind, I kept referring to what I learned from your program.

Let’s just say that five weeks later, things are still fantastic between us. We talk a lot, laugh a lot and share special times together. It’s not necessarily about “us” or the “future.” I’m not trying to prove to him how “worthy” I feel because he likes me. He is NOT the center of my universe — I still travel, go to the theater with friends and hang out with my daughter and treat myself like a goddess. However, this is so far the best man that I have met in a very long time. He has shared with me the fact that he feels “lucky”
to have met me! The old me would have wondered what he was feeling so lucky about. Now I know.

Thanks Christian. You have made a believer out of me.

-C.C.

>>>>My Response

C.C.- he is lucky to have met you, and so am I.

Thanks for sharing and you made my day.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. If you haven’t downloaded my Catch Him and Keep Him ebook, you might want to do it here:

Catch Him And Keep Him

One minute everything feels great and you’re laughing and connecting and the next minute some weird “mood” comes over him and he goes off into his own little world.

Or maybe your relationship is chugging along at full speed, getting closer and closer, and suddenly you feel like YOU are the only one reaching out and connecting…and he is just sitting there?

What’s up with that?

Why do men do this?

If this has ever happened to you, I want you to know that it’s critical for you to know WHY – and what to do about it (and what to AVOID doing at all costs).

PAY ATTENTION: Because this is important:

How you react in a situation like this can mean the difference between him KNOWING the one woman who can make him happy, or feeling unsure about the future of your relationship.

Find out what’s going on “Inside The Mind Of A Man” by going to this link right now:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

Now I’d like to share a question I recently received from a reader about a situation just like this.

***QUESTION FROM A READER:***

“Dear Christian,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year and we are very serious about each other. We are even talking about marriage and we have already moved in together.

So what’s the problem you ask?

Even after all this time, I still find myself trying to figure out what he’s thinking sometimes.

Sometimes he’s a mystery to me, why he does and says some of the things he does, and this scares me a lot and makes me crazy since we are so serious about each other.

For example, sometimes he just gets quiet and won’t talk to me. And it doesn’t have to be anything going wrong like a fight or anything for this to happen.

He says that he needs his alone time, but I sense that it’s because of something I have done that makes him shut down. I’d really like to fix it if I could. I wish I knew how to read these things better or if I even should be reading anything into it at all. Can you help?

–M.”

***MY RESPONSE:***

I can definitely help.

First of all, I have some good news for you.

You can relax.

From what I’m hearing about your situation, there is nothing abnormal or wrong with what is happening between you and your boyfriend.

The fact that he’s telling you he needs “alone time” doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with how he feels about you and your “serious” relationship.

It has EVERYTHING to do with how a man approaches relationships, his own “down time” and the “up time” when he is with you.

Many women believe that when a man acts “disengaged” it is because he’s not happy, or he’s unsatisfied, or he doesn’t want to be with you and wants to be with someone else.

NOT SO!

As a matter of fact, thinking that there’s something wrong with the relationship when a man gets quiet is one of what I call the “Man Myths” that a lot of women believe about men.

The way your boyfriend is behaving is TYPICAL and to be expected of a man in a relationship. It doesn’t mean something is WRONG…for example:

Has your guy ever done this?

– Made plans to spend a night alone with “the guys” after several intense and romantic days with you

– Go and “zone out” in front of the T.V. or computer after dinner or after a long conversation with you, and acts irritated when you try to interrupt him

– Spend huge chunks of time on weekends tinkering around the garage or working on his hobby and not engaged or interested in spending time with you

I’d bet that he’s done this more than once… and when he does, what do YOU think about what’s going through his mind?

Do you start wondering if he’s angry about something you did or said, or is somehow DISAPPROVING of you in some way?

Do you wonder if he cares LESS about you in that moment, or is questioning your relationship?

Do you start to talk yourself into feeling, “ok, well he’s into his own thing, so I’m going to go off and be into mine.”

Or do you think, “well I need to fill my time with other interests since he is OBVIOUSLY not interested in spending his precious time with me.”

If you find yourself thinking any of these things, chances are pretty good that you’re reacting to him in a way that sends a very negative message – a message that is GUARANTEED to send him packing or push him away from you.

That’s because you’re reacting to a MYTH that you heard somewhere about men – that men really don’t care about spending quality, intimate time with women.

OK, I’m a man and I am going to say that again – and in all caps (because I can)!

MEN DO CARE ABOUT SPENDING QUALITY, INTIMATE TIME WITH WOMEN.

What’s worse, though, is that by believing the myth that men need alone time BECAUSE they don’t care about you, or would rather NOT talk because they’re disapproving of you in any way is probably causing you to behave in a way that is DESTRUCTIVE to your relationship.

Let me explain.

You wrote in your email that you feel scared and a little bit crazy when your boyfriend behaves in a way that is a mystery to you.

What if I were to tell you that men have a completely different way of UNPLUGGING and decompressing than women do…and that for a man, to spend time alone WITHOUT TALKING or having a “deep” conversation is his way of relaxing and getting back some of his mental energy.

And yet you INTERPRET it as meaning that he isn’t engaged with you in some way.

The thing is, if you’re punishing him in some way for doing things that are actually normal and NATURAL for him as a man, such as needing alone time or time to zone out and decompress, then what you’re actually communicating to him is that you don’t understand who he is.

And if your man doesn’t think that you understand him, then OF COURSE he will disengage!

You just want him to be exactly like you.

But that’s not what you REALLY want, is it?

While it’s true that there are fundamental differences in men and women, such as the way they decompress and re-energize, it’s also true that they have much more in COMMON than you think.

Most women I talk with don’t realize that men and women aren’t really that different.

Look at the list below. Do these sound like myths to you? Actually, they are TRUTHS about menand how they feel about relationships.

Men may not ADMIT this readily, but for most men, when they decide that a woman is TRULY the woman for them, it is because she has met these criteria – maybe not all, but definitely most.

> She makes him feel cherished

> She makes him feel her desire for him, so he never feels unattractive, insignificant or unimportant

> He feels SAFE and secure in the relationship

> She makes him spontaneous and FUN in a way he hasn’t felt like since his youth…and feeling things that can’t be planned in a relationship, just like you

I’ve produced a unique program that answers all those burning questions you have about what your boyfriend is thinking and feeling when he does something that feels like a mystery to you.

My new Inside The Mind Of A Man program is YOUR roadmap to how a real man thinks and behaves, so you never again have to feel worried or scared about something he said… or didn’t say.

This all-new material will help you discover, without a doubt, what his level of maturity is… to what he thinks of sleeping with other women… to what it takes for him to know he wants to commit to you forever.

You can read about this amazing program right here:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

When I filmed this program live in Los Angeles, I have to admit that at first I wasn’t sure how the women in the audience would take it.

Some of the insights I revealed about men are a little bit racy, a little bit TOO honest. And frankly…I was a little uncomfortable with where the discussion was going!

But the reaction from the women of all ages in the audience was overwhelming.

I could see a wave of change taking place with the women in the audience – women who were desperate to gain some insight into their guys’ minds – and they suddenly started to grasp how a guy’s mind works. how they could approach men with a new outlook… even if they had been hesitant and apprehensive with men before.

But don’t take my word for it. Here’s some feedback I received from a woman who attended the program.

This amazing women was kind enough to share her thoughts right after the taping was finished:

“The Inside The Mind Of A Man program taught me that a man wants to free to be himself and be your hero, NOT free from you, which is a misconception many women have.

The most important thing I learned is that men are more bothered by stress and confrontation than women. They often see our desire to talk as conflict, thus men are more passive and we think they are not listening. I learned that criticism of your man definitely does not work. Liberal praise and reward is the only way to success with a man. It’s a Pavlov’s Dog thing.

N.K. Los Angeles, CA”

LOL! “Pavlov’s Dog thing.” Nice.

This program is literally for ANY woman who wants to have a relationship with a man – the kind of relationship that has depth and will stand the test of time.

My Inside The Mind Of A Man program is going to show you exactly how to start sharing the kind of relationship you deserve with a man, because you’ll have a deep level of understanding about him.

You’ll discover how to keep your relationship passionate and AFFAIR-FREE, how to talk to him about how you’re feeling so he’ll listen and care, and you’ll learn what stage of maturity your man is in so you’ll “get” hy he acts a certain way (and what it means to your relationship for the long-term.)

It’s all right here:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

And if you’ve never ordered a program from me before, there’s something I need to tell you.

Just like any of my programs, my “Inside The Mind Of A Man” is completely no-risk for your to order and try before you pay a dime.

That’s right, you can review your copy for a full 30 days before deciding if it’s the right program for you.

But I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be. You’re in a great relationship and you don’t want to spend your entire life feeling constantly feeling scared and confused about your man, right?

That’s why you NEED this program.

I know you’re going to love the insights and tips you’ll get from my “Inside The Mind Of A Man”
program.

Here’s the link where you can order your own copy:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

Good luck and I’ll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. My “Inside The Mind Of A Man” program is the program I’ve finally created for you that reveals the real secrets about what men think and feel when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships.

This program will show you:

> The 7 Things that men REALLY WANT from women

> Why men cheat, even when they say they’re in love with you

> How one of the most common myths women believe about men can actually be preventing you from EXPRESSING your needs and desires to a man; learn the FACTS and experience a complete shift in your perceptions and feel EMPOWERED instantly

> The 8 Attraction Killers that will make him think twice about being with you in the future

> And much more…

Go here now to find out all this and more:

Inside The Mind Of A Man

Hi Christian.

I have just read your latest email about mistakes and i have to admit I nearly wept. You are totally right! I recently started spending a lot of time with a guy I used to know. We had an instant connection and he was exactly as you said:

affectionate at first, initiating plans etc, then I made not one mistake but ALL of those you mentioned in your email, and as you said…. he pulled away big time. The attractions gone for him now. What I want to know is, is there any way I can reverse the damage I have caused? Can I get my friendship with him back on track? Is it possible he may learn to feel again what he once felt for me? Please help. Im at my wits end and I really do miss having him in my life. I would be grateful for any advice you could give me on this matter.

Thanks,
N.W.

**My Response**

OK.

Let me get right to the point here about what you need to do…

First off, as you start to recognize new things about yourself and the mistakes you’ve been making, it’s very easy to start thinking that things are EVEN WORSE than you thought they were, and for that to freak you out.

But don’t let this stop you from continuing to learn and grow.

There’s a funny thing that happens to us in life…

It’s that any time you develop a new AWARENESS and you start seeing your behavior and interactions in a new light… at first you often feel like kicking yourself.

But getting down on yourself, feeling overly frustrated and hopeless, and letting the lack of CONTROL you have in your new situation doesn’t help.

Here’s the reality if you’ve recognized that you’ve been making some of the mistakes I talk about…

It’s NEVER TOO LATE.

Here’s why:

The man you were dating liked you and was attracted to you for some reason.

And as much as it might seem like his feelings have changed forever towards you, there’s something you should realize-

A man’s FEELINGS can CHANGE VERY QUICKLY, whether you want them to or not.

And you know this from past experience.

Now… most women don’t handle this reality about men, dating, and relationships very well at all.

In fact, lots of women let this completely freak them out and take over their emotions and how they act and talk.

What’s behind all this is FEAR.

Fear of loss.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of abandonment.

Fear of not being loved, or not being good enough to be loved.

And lots of women let these fears take over and run the show as their emotions get the best of them.

Of course, I get that it can be a frightening idea that all it takes is just a few wrong words or actions and “Wham!”… the man in your life who you’ve been sharing so much of yourself with is suddenly not feeling it for you anymore.

But here’s the thing:

The fact that a man’s feelings can change so quickly has TWO SIDES to it.

See, if a man’s feelings can quickly change from feeling interested and attracted to a woman, to feeling that “Ewwwww” feeling where he wants to get away from her…

It’s also true that a man can quickly change from feeling UNATTRACTED and uninterested … to feeling intensely ATTRACTED and wanting to spend time with you again.

In other words, men’s feelings and their reactions and responses to a woman can change quickly in EITHER DIRECTION – from good to bad, or from bad to good.

Of course, I’m not just telling you this because it sounds like it makes sense.

I KNOW all this firsthand, and have watched and experienced it during the YEARS I’ve spent observing, studying, and coaching women with men, love, and relationships.

I can honestly say that I’ve helped thousands of women create what I’ll call instant “shifts” in their lives and relationships… and do this with men they thought they had driven away for good.

The point is, you can either let the fact that a man’s feelings can change as a result of your behavior SCARE you and make you ANXIOUS and INSECURE (which will only make things worse for you)

Or…

You can see that the fact that his feelings can quickly change, can work to your advantage… and you can use this fact to have a man very quickly go from NOT FEELING IT for you… to feeling that gut-level ATTRACTION for you in a few short moments and interactions.

I’ve literally seen men go from feeling like they had to get away from a woman they were dating and telling all their friends that it was over…

To suddenly remembering why it was that he was interested and attracted to her in the first place, and then start calling, making plans, and thinking about her all the time.

I’ll even have to admit that I’ve done this myself in the past.

Now, here’s what to do with all this…

Becoming more AWARE of what’s going on with men, dating, and relationships is just the first step.

Being able to simply IDENTIFY the PROBLEMS that are causing a man to suddenly lose interest is the battle most women struggle endlessly with and are NEVER able to understand.

So… it’s great when you start to really become CONSCIOUS of your own thinking, feelings, and behavior, and how they effect the man in your life

But…

All the self-awareness in the world isn’t going to teach you and show you exactly what it is that you need to START DOING to go from pushing a man away to making him feel an INTENSE level of ATTRACTION when he’s around you.

Finding out what the PROBLEM is is just half the answer that teaches you about what it is that you need to STOP DOING.

But you’ve still got to put the puzzle pieces together on what to START DOING.

Let me give you a quick pointer:

STOP TALKING to the man in your life about the mistakes you’ve made… or about what’s happening in your relationship.

And stop it RIGHT NOW!

Let me ask you…

What are men seeking more than anything in a woman?

Well, when it comes to a man finding a woman he wants to be with and STAY with… men are looking for a woman who is FUN, SEXY – and most important in terms of building a lasting long term relationship – EASY TO BE WITH.

This might sound too simple to be something that could change your life and relationship…

But the reality is that most women who are having problems with men losing interest in them because of their behavior are completely misunderstanding what’s going on inside a man’s mind.

When a woman feels hurt, scared, or uncertain with a man… often times she will act out on her feelings in indirect ways to try and get the man to see what she’s feeling and relate to her and start talking about it.

She wants for a man to recognize and pay attention to her feelings… and to UNDERSTAND her.

But this is NOT how men react and respond when it comes to pain, fear, and uncertainty.

Men seek to avoid or break through all these things… and their minds are constantly working to figure out how to get rid of these things all together.

Of course, love and life and relationships don’t work this way. But it doesn’t keep men from trying, or from wanting the world around them to work this way.

Point being, when a woman shows up and acts overly emotional, upset, insecure… and does things that are UNATTRACTIVE to a man, it’s bad enough.

But then when a woman sees the damage that her behavior has done to her relationship with a man… and she starts to FEEL BAD about that too… things quickly go from bad to worse.

Each time she calls a man and he hears her voice, he instantly knows she’s still in that place of fear, worry, and emotional uncertainty.

And this will keep pushing the man further and further away.

The answer isn’t to try and talk through all your uncertain feelings with a man – if you’re goal is to connect with him and keep building his interest and attraction for you.

The answer is to do the things that create attraction in HIM.

Translation – stop talking and thinking about the PROBLEMS you’re feeling between you… and start being the woman a man naturally feels excited and joyful with when he’s around.

THEN, when you’re in a close and connected place, talking to a man and getting him to share and understand – and even initiate conversations about your feelings and your relationship – will be easier than you ever thought possible.

So stop doing the things that you’re learning PUSH MEN AWAY… and START doing the things that tons of other women have learned naturally build more interest and ATTRACTION inside a man.

Now, for lots of women it can be a long and frustrating process trying to figure out what it is that makes a man experience that magic FEELING of ATTRACTION … and to feel it so strongly that he literally can’t keep himself
from wanting to be with you.

Some women spend their entire lives doing all the WRONG THINGS with the RIGHT MEN in their relationships… only to finally figure out too late all the things they were doing pretty much guaranteed that a man would stop feeling attraction for them as time went on.

And some women, even after they’ve “done the work” and gotten rid of all the negative patterns in their life that kept them from drawing a man to them for lasting love, still can’t clue into the ‘hard-to-identify’ but simple things that make a man keep “feeling it” for them.

Luckily, I’ve done all the “homework” for you in this area to help you learn and understand what it is that a man will respond to on a deep emotional level.

A man needs a woman to trigger something inside him that goes much deeper than the common Physical Attraction that men can and do experience for many women… if he’s going to feel and know that THIS woman is not just any woman, but the ONE WOMAN he wants to be with.

If you’d like the most complete guide to understanding how to create the FEELING of ATTRACTION inside a man – and how you can keep it alive and well so that you’re relationship keeps growing and a man will want to STAY with you – then it’s a MUST that you go and check my “Natural & Lasting Attraction” program HERE:

Natural and Lasting Attraction

And by the way, if you’re making serious mistakes with a man such as:

• Trying to convince him to like you, want you, or to stay with you… and completely losing your composure when you see any sign of him losing interest in you
• Calling him too much and trying to be the one to make plans and make sure that you spend time together and see each other
• Becoming upset with him when he doesn’t call, then not knowing how to get your feelings out and communicate with him without creating an even worse situation for yourself

Then here’s the thing…

You’ve probably been doing these kinds of things for a while in your life… and not just with this one man in particular.

You’ve probably been doing these kinds of things for a while as a PATTERN with the other men in your past as well.

In other words, it’s not just the SITUATION that is bringing up all these emotional responses and reactions inside you.

It’s that on a deeper emotional level, YOU don’t have some critical parts of your own life “handled” or together… and it’s showing up in your relationship and pushing him away.

Don’t let what you aren’t aware of about yourself (but could quickly get handled) keep you from the love and the relationship you want.

If you find yourself losing your composure too often, letting your emotions take over and regretting it too often after the fact, and you’re starting to recognize that not all of what you’re doing and choosing to do with a man is totally CONSCIOUS… then you need to take the time and the steps to take care of what’s going on INSIDE YOU first.

Once you take care of what’s happening inside you on an emotional, spiritual, and psychological level… a lot of the things on your outside that a man sees and experiences will start to take care of themselves.

And you’ll start to magnetically ATTRACT a man and create the right situations and the right relationship from the inside out.

And be sure to let me know what you think.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

***COMMENT***

Christian,

I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and a half and we have a great relationship on all levels (intellectually, physically, etc). However unfortunately we have been ‘head-bashing’ over a certain problem that keeps resurfacing in our relationship and now it has literally come to a point where he wants “time out”. I have a problem trusting him and want to always control situations. I have constantly been giving him nonsense when he socialises with his female friends, and have an insecurity that he will leave me. It has been very strenuous on him and he actually told me this morning that he wants to be with me but he no longer knows what to do and wants time out of this relationship…

I finally did something right this morning when speaking to him (after reading your last email on control), I just listened and said that I understood. He said we will discuss it further this evening. I am SO LOST! I don’t know what to do to fix this now, and am not sure if this is ‘fixable’. I REALLY LOVE him and he loves me, but it has been carrying on for so long he doesn’t want to hear excuses anymore.

PLEASE HELP me. What can I do to make this work?

I will be forever grateful for your response!

L.J.

>>>My Response

Ok, I’m going to have to pull out the hammer here because you’re doing the worst of all things:

Using your fear and neediness to justify hurting yourself and pushing your guy away.

Here’s what I want you to do…

Please go to the nearest mirror, look yourself dead in the eyes, and then slap yourself hard across the cheek.

Oh, and make sure your boyfriend is watching too, so you can then turn to him, freak out and cry, and then blame him for “making you do it.”

And when he responds by saying, “But you just slapped yourself”…

I want you to freak out even more until he starts to think that something is going really and truly wrong with you in the head.

AND THEN… I want you to get even more upset because now he thinks you’re crazy… and act even more crazy and emotional as you wonder, “What did I ever do to make him not want to be around me and doubt our future together?”

Once you do all this, then you should be able to recognize that this has roughly the same effect with your boyfriend as your current thinking and behavior.

Follow me here?

Good. Now let’s get down to it.

I want you to understand that your fear and jealousy is NOT going to go away, EVER, until you decide to get this part of your life handled.

The reality right now is that no matter how good your relationship with a man might be, or how much reassurance you scream and cry to try and get him to give you… it will NEVER be enough for you because your mind will find a way to freak you out and ruin things for you.

These same insecure, needy, negative feelings that drive men away are going to keep coming up over and over in place after place until you are ALONE again.

Here are a few important questions you need to consider right now:

How do you think all your negative emotional fears and frustrations are affecting the man in your life?

And how do these make him think and feel about you and your relationship?

And what would he tell you and ask you for if he wasn’t afraid of freaking you out, and was open and honest?

*Hint- learning to listen and understand a man’s feelings is also a huge part of creating a strong relationship that meets BOTH of your needs.

If you haven’t recognized it yet, men commonly have a kind of RESISTANCE to working through intense emotional situations in relationships.And it’s often these same few areas of RESISTANCE that cause conflict in relationships and lead to men to pulling away or leaving.

The good news is that your situation isn’t hopeless or “unfixable.”But first, I want you to realize a few important truths about men and the common reasons why they leave relationships with women they like or love…

Reason #1: The “Pleasure Principle”

Men, and women, generally want to FEEL GOOD in their lives.

And they want to have the people around them be a source of pleasure and comfort and support.

Yourself included.

When you are constantly freaking out on a man for what it is about him that freaks you out, you quickly turn into one of the people who he just DOESN’T FEEL GOOD around.

And this has a huge impact on whether or not he wants to invest more time, effort, and energy in you and your relationship -

Or if he will decide to give up on trying to fix what’s going on so you can both feel good together.

Reason #2: Emotional Experience And The Future

For the man in a relationship, the way a woman acts in the “little” situations become indicators of how she’s going to respond when things really are tough in the future.

So if a woman is consistently negative and emotional… and can’t get herself together even when a man tries to explain things and comfort her… then a man isn’t going to think that things could be any better for them in the future.

Reason #3: Lost Feelings Of Attraction

Love can be important to a man.

But just like a woman, if he doesn’t also keep experiencing the exciting and addictive feelings of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with the woman he loves… then eventually EVERYTHING ELSE stops mattering.

When a man doesn’t FEEL that deep level of connection with a woman, at least every so often to remind him of why he’s with her, then he’ll forget why… and the relationship will become just a whole bunch of “work” to him.

Whenever he thinks of his girlfriend, he’ll think of all the problems, frustrations, and negative emotions and experiences… and he’ll see a future and a commitment as something that will make him LESS SATISFIED in his life.

Often times when women are feeling distance or trouble in a relationship, they’ll try to “talk” to a man and work on “the relationship.”

Big mistake if you want to turn things around.

For a man, he wants to do things together (not talk) to know his relationship is working.

Creating a deep level of connection and sharing the attraction you have is one of the most powerful and important keys to giving a man his own reason for wanting to be with you, no matter what.

If you want to learn the secrets to easily creating or recapturing the intense attraction that will have a man asking you for more attention, then check out my “ Natural and Lasting Attraction” CD/DVD program.

It will show you exactly how to get back to sharing intense Physical and Emotional Attraction, and give you the 6 keys to the kind of deep, lasting attraction that can keep a relationship strong and moving forward.

All the details and some free video sample clips from the program are here:

Natural and Lasting Attraction

Reason #4: The “Neediness” of Codependence

A man wants to be with a woman who brings something better to his life, not takes away his time, energy, and emotional “stability.”

So when a woman doesn’t have much going on for herself in her own life a few things happen:

First, she focuses on her relationship too much as her source of happiness or unhappiness.

You can tell when you’ve done this in your relationships in the past when you’ve said things like:

“I can’t believe how I didn’t hardly ever see any of my friends while we were together.”

…or

“I can’t believe I let him control me that way.”

…or

“I feel so stupid for wasting so much of my time on our relationship, when I could have been doing things for me and my life.”

The reality is that no man and no relationship are capable of being everything to a woman.

And no relationship requires that you sacrifice all your time, life, and energy for it… no matter how much it seems that way.

But our relationships can “trick” us into believing that they need all of our time and attention just to survive.

Not true.

In fact, the way this works is completely COUNTERINTUITIVE.

Often times a man will leave a woman because he sees that she depends too much on him and has lost her own sources of happiness… and this not only looks and feels “needy” to a man, but it keeps the woman from having much to bring into the
relationship and add to their lives together.

Reason #5: “She’s Trying To Fix Me…”

Every few weeks or months I come across someone who says or alludes to the idea that “people don’t change.”

Wrong.

People often change their state of mind in an
instant.

Especially from happy to sad.

Of course, changing perspectives, opinions, or beliefs can take a bit longer… but these change quickly, too.

A man can and will “change” and compromise for a woman.

It’s a fact.

I see it all the time where men let go of their “bachelor lifestyles” for one special woman, and change a ton about their social lives.

But this only happens when a man has HIS OWN REASONS to change.

It NEVER works, or lasts, if a man simply tries to change for a woman, or for the sake of the relationship.

There’s a rule I like to use in my life when ever I come to a situation where I’m trying to align my own desires or goals with someone else’s:

“All motivation is self-interest.”

In other words, if you’re trying to create a great situation with a man, you’re going to need to understand what HIS REASONS are going to be for doing the work on his end to make it happen.

But in many cases, a woman will try and get a man to change by showing him how it affects HER, not him.

This is the exact opposite of understanding that people are motivated by the things THEY WANT, and not what others feel and want.

It takes some maturity to accept that other people (men) have their own unique way of seeing things and wanting what they want (to stay and work things out, or not).

But once you learn to accept these things and start to work with them instead of against them, life gets a whole lot easier.

And a whole lot more fun.

So those are 5 of the most common reasons why men leave women and relationships.

One of the most important things underlying all these 5 reasons is the EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE that you create with a man.

I think of the emotional experience that you share with a man in your relationship as the door through which your relationship will either open up and move forward…

Or on the other hand, as the barrier that causes a relationship to stay shut and go nowhere.

And I look at COMMITMENT as a man and a woman agreeing to open the door together and walk through it.

But the truth is that men don’t COMMIT for the same reasons most women do.

They don’t think about, talk about, or want to walk through the door the same way most women do.

That’s why the “process” by which most men commit is different.

For most women, there’s often a kind of tension and resistance built into moving forward in a relationship.

And I’m not just talking about the spoken words of that make a commitment… but about the “emotional commitment” a man has inside.

If a man is deeply committed to you and your relationship on an emotional level, then any “issues” you run into are just going to be “bumps in the road” to him. And he’ll be confident, comfortable, open, and secure with you in working them out.

But if a man ISN’T “emotionally committed” to you, then each and every little problem is going to cause him to get irritated, frustrated, and have him wanting to blame you and withdraw.

Which is, in turn, going to make things much less CERTAIN for you.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. And if you haven’t subscribe to my free newsletter, don’t forget to check it out here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

If you keep reading, you’re going to learn:

WHY this happens…

WHAT it means…

And HOW to go about changing the situation so that when a man says he’s going to call, he means it and won’t be able to wait to see you again.

Here we go…

This week I wanted to share an email I got from a reader, that’s exactly about this “we had a great conversation, he got my number, but then he never called me back” scenario.

Check it out and learn where she went wrong, what in the world is going on with men like this, and what to do about it…

>>>Question From A Reader

Hi Christian,

I have been reading your newsletters and getting really good insights. Especially what you’ve said about being unpredictable.

I have a question for you that you might have gotten before a thousand times and if you give me a practical answer on how to deal with it, you’re a genius and you’ll officially become my guru forever!

Why do men not call when they say they’re going to? And, most importantly, is there any way to avoid this? Or is there any kind of teaser, or challenge I can throw into the conversation, when he says he’s going to call, so it can cause him to really call?

It has happened twice with me in the past week with two different guys I was interested in :(

The first one said he was going to call so we could go out and talk about his itinerary to Europe.

The second one said he was going to call about a whether he’d be in town (a nearby town) so I could go visit.

I feel so frustrated? How can I avoid being in these situations and feeling like such a loser? Should I just not accept that he tells me he’s going to call? Like just make an excuse so I have to call back myself? Of course I’d do that without letting him realize that I’m actually unsure he’s going to call.

I guess this is another typical thing of guys :( (especially where I live) Let’s see if you have a great theory on this one as well – one that works!!!Regards,L.

>>>My Response

Let’s get right to it.

In my “Natural & Lasting Attraction” CD/DVD program, I give you specific strategies that teach you exactly how to build attraction from the very first moment you meet a man… (which, by the way, begins BEFORE you even give him your number or say much of anything to each other).

To learn how to create this kind of deep, lasting attraction with a man that goes BEYOND the common Physical Attraction that men can experience with women at first, then go check out my program here and watch some free video clips here:

Natural and Lasting Attraction

Let’s get back to it…

Now for these strategies that I mentioned, that are also in my program, to work… you first need to understand something important before you can know what to do about it…

You need to understand why men don’t call when they say they’re going to in the first place.

So… let’s go over the different reasons men think and behave this way. There’s a lot to learn from each one.

And while you’re reading each one… see if you can figure out what each situation and reason has in common.

Why Men Don’t Call: Situation #1

Some men are too immature to be honest and straight-forward with a woman.

Sometimes men are just being dumb and giving themselves ego strokes by flirting with you, even though they never really thought they’d call.

But they get your number anyway to feel good and to have it “just in case” they get some random urge or reason to call you in the future.

Plus, getting a woman’s number is a kind of “trophy” to show to other immature men.

Why Men Don’t Call: Situation #2

They were just looking for a hook-up, and you weren’t “fling” material (which is a good thing, unless that’s all you’re looking for).

Oftentimes, men think they just want a woman to be “physical” with.

If you’re out at a club or a bar and you meet a man, often he’ll have “hooking up” on his mind.

Duh, right!?

If you meet a guy like this and, in his eyes, you’re the girl he’d bring home to mom, then you might not be the girl he’ll want to spend his time with… at least for the near future.

But in spite of this, he takes your number, in case he gets the crazy foreign idea in his head that he’d actually want a great girl for a real relationship.

And guess what?

He doesn’t come to that realization for a very long time – so he doesn’t call.

I’m not saying it makes sense, but that’s how some men operate.

And in a strange way, men who do this are doing you a favor at that time in their life.

The timing wasn’t right.

Why Men Don’t Call: Situation #3

They thought they were being “polite” by getting your number, even though they never felt like calling.

Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, meanwhile you were already dreading his call and wishing inside that you had given him a fake number?

Exactly…

And I know it sucks to think about this, but have you ever thought that the tables could be turned?

See… if men enjoy their conversations with you but aren’t that interested, they sometimes feel a polite “obligation” to get your number.

It’s a kind of way to end the interaction on a positive note… even though they never really thought about if they intended to call you.

I know it stinks, but men aren’t often up front and assertive when it comes to the opposite sex.

Why Men Don’t Call: Situation #4

They were interested in you at first, but after a little while they started to feel like something was “off”… maybe even after they got your number.

And, while you were trying so hard to create random reasons for you to see each other again, and to not have a guy get your number and not call again, they could sense your subtle fear and discomfort.

So the attraction and connection they had just started feeling for you and had tuned into with you, changed and was “broken.”

Why Men Don’t Call: Situation #5

They lost your number or forgot to call. Plain and simple and that’s it.

Ok, now let me ask you…

Did you figure out what each of these situations has in common?

I’ll give you a hint:

It has something to do with your feelings.

Give up?

There are 2 things actually.

First off, none of them have ANYTHING to do with you being a “loser”, like you mentioned.

See, the fascinating thing is that in each of these situations, it’s YOUR CHOICE to make the MEANING out of them that you want.

Unfortunately, it seems like the meaning you’ve chosen to make has been NEGATIVE.

In other words, you’ve actually started to criticize yourself and think even more negatively because two guys didn’t pick up the phone and punch in your number.

Talk about a way to make sure you keep screwing up and feeling bad about your love life…

And worse, men can actually sense these things when you meet them and will instantly categorize you as a woman that they don’t want to be around if you’ve got that freaked out, negative, over-attachment to the casual conversation you’re having with them.

Here’s the second thing each of these situations has in common…

Of the ones that don’t involve men just being weird or “unavailable” for more than a casual fling, there’s a common theme going on.

They weren’t FEELING ATTRACTION.

See, there’s something I don’t think you know you’re doing here…

You seem to know about an important concept when it comes to men – teasing and throwing in certain kinds of “challenges” to attract their interest and attention.

But… there’s a huge difference between KNOWING what these things are and actually DOING them.

The thing is, almost all women KNOW that they SHOULD tease and excite a man to dial up his interest.

But when it comes to actually doing these things in a fun, consistent, and exciting ways, they fall short.

Why?

Because who wants to bother?

And isn’t it better for someone to just like you for you?

Maybe.

But what if there’s a real and genuine “you” that men just need some help to see with so much other stuff going on?

And what if you’re hiding that away because of your frustrations from the past or fears about what might happen in the present?

Here’s a radical thought…

With things not going exactly how you want them to go in your live life – imagine if you actually changed a few of YOUR everyday patterns of behavior with men to try and get a few different results.

What are the odds that part of the common denominator here is YOU, and not that all men have the exact same problem or issue with calling back?

Would it be too much to ask that you at least try a few different things that were outside of your “natural” comfort zone of what you’ve always done or what makes sense to you?

I don’t think so… and you sound more than open to it and have a positive attitude.

So, let’s talk about what those patterns are for you to break, and what to try instead that WORKS with men.

CREATING “REASONS” FOR A MAN TO CALL YOU BACK

Your email lets me know that you already “get” some of what to do, like teasing and being challenging, but that you don’t quite know yet how to put it to work in your dating life.

Let’s change that.

Here’s how…

You need to start creating exciting reasons for a man to want to see you again.

I’ll repeat that so you hear it again and take the time to let it sink in…

You need to start creating EXCITING REASONS for a man to WANT to see you again.

I’ll give you a minute to think about what that means…

Ok, come back.

There’s something lots of single women do when they meet guys and want to see them again.

And, it makes it so that the man isn’t very interested or excited to re-connect with the woman afterwards.

It’s when a woman tries to come up with any old reason under the sun to “re-connect” with a man, not realizing how important the “reason” actually is.

It usually goes something like this…

Woman meets man.

Man and woman start to connect.

They talk about “interesting” stuff and the woman becomes interested in the man.

The man enjoys the conversation and talking to the woman, who’s a great person and seems attractive.

The woman feels a connection and assumes that he must feel it too since it’s there for her.

The man asks for her number and she kind of “lets down her guard” and becomes very friendly with him and feels comfortable.

The woman then starts talking about the things that they can do together when they see each other next, based on the conversational topics they’ve had.

The man’s attraction, intrigue, and interest in the woman suddenly drops off.

End of story.

So, what happened here?

In short, the woman stopped doing the things she was “naturally” and subconsciously doing at first that made the man feel attracted to her, and instead started treating him like a sort of “best friend.”

A friend of mine has a name for this…

The “super-sized friend approach.”

This approach is usually followed up by offers to do favors, run errands, or give gifts.

Translation – ZERO ATTRACTION.

And it’s further destroyed by trying any excuse, no matter how mundane, to make future plans together.

See what’s happening here?

And yeah, there are always exceptions to the rules.

Women who are so naturally attractive to men, physically and “socially”, can and do take the more casual and friendly approach… and it works great for them.

But we’re not talking about those situations.

We’re talking about the situations where things, unfortunately, don’t fall into place so effortlessly.

Ok, so back to creating “reasons” that actually get men to call back.

Let’s start by talking about why the “reason” is so important… and then we’ll get into a specific example.

The “reason” that you create, for a man to reconnect with you, is important because it builds the entire CONTEXT and MEANING in a man’s mind of how he thinks about you after he leaves…

That reason you give is a large part of what determines, in his mind, HIS reason for calling, or not calling.

So here’s how to create great “reasons” with a man…

First off, stop making future plans with men for first dates around things that are BORING, everyday, and PREDICTABLE.

Yes, trips to Europe can be fascinating, cool, sophisticated, cultural, and all kinds of great things.

And yeah, talking about Europe, travel, sites, art history, etc. can interest a man intellectually.

And I have to admit that traveling to Europe has involved some of the most romantic moments of my life.

These are great things to talk about with a man in random conversations.

But guess what?

Planning a man’s trip with a man is NOT going to make him FEEL those romantic feelings with you just because you’ve become his travel guide.

Planning travel can be looked at as a kind of chore for some people… especially men.

In other words, you could hope that the romance of Venice or Florence rubs off on you somehow through some magic “transference” as you talk about them…

Or…

You could start doing the things that will make him FEEL ATTRACTED and romantically interested in YOU.

With me here?

Good.

You’ve got to remember…

Attraction isn’t created by “logic.”

A man doesn’t talk to a woman about Europe and become fascinated and sexually charged by her knowledge of the Duomo, the Sistine Chapel, or the fine wines of France’s Bordeaux region.

**NEWSFLASH**

Attraction doesn’t take place when a man thinks inside his mind, “Gee, she’s smart, cultured, well traveled, etc., I think I’m going to feel attracted to her.”

That’s not how it works at all… just like that’s not how you become interested and attracted in men.

It’s MUCH more in your subconscious.

Think chemistry.

So, can a man “reason” with you so that you feel ATTRACTION or CHEMISTRY with him?

Didn’t think so.

But he can DO things that will make you FEEL ATTRACTION, even if you’re not really “choosing” to be attracted to him.

Well, it works the same way for men becoming attracted to women.

And sure, the things that are “logically attractive” like travel in Europe don’t hurt… but they’re really just window-dressing for the things that are going on underneath the surface in our minds and emotions.

What makes a man feel attracted is the EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE he has that a woman creates with him or guides him to.

Attraction is a largely a SUBCONSCIOUS FEELING that comes in response to the unexpected, the unpredictable, and the things that can’t help but draw us in to connect in an emotional way.

So let’s land the plane here…

If you want a man to call back, give him a “reason” that’s interesting, unpredictable, fun, etc.

But most importantly, it’s got to be a reason that will make him FEEL ATTRACTION for you.

If you do something less predictable, like tell him…

“Hey, since you’re going to Europe, if you’re good I’ll tell you a few secrets about what makes the French such great lovers… or great cooks…whichever you’re more curious about…”

Now that’s sure to get a man’s attention… and keep it so that he’ll call you back.

Notice that this still says everything you want to say to a man about wanting to connect with him again.

But it does so in a fun, interesting, teasing, challenging, and unpredictable way that keeps him thinking about you and guessing.

And, it does it without making him feel that you’re desperate to make sure that he’s going to call you – or that you’re just trying the “super-sized friend approach.”

So, let me say it again…

YOU NEED TO BUILD ATTRACTION TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.. whether it’s a phone call, a second date, or more.

For more information on this topic, I highly recommend that you to check out my Natural & Lasting Attraction program.

You can learn more about the immediate results this program can bring to your love life, and watch free clips here:

Natural and Lasting Attraction

But, I digress…

There’s one other thing that’s important you asked too…

“Should I just not accept that he’s not going to call?”

Great question.

Here’s the thing…

It’s important for you to have “boundaries” with men.

It’s important for your own good, to help him know what’s fair game and what isn’t, and to lay some constructive framework for a future relationship.

A key step in every growing relationship is to communicate what your personal boundaries are so that the other person can learn to respect them.

But in situations where you don’t even know the person very well, it’s not as simple as just laying it out there.

It’s also important that you don’t communicate these boundaries in a pushy, weird, needy, overly-sensitive way where men will instantly pull away from you.

I know, I know… to lots of women this sounds like a contradiction.

When they hear it they’ll think…

“You mean I’m supposed to be “unpredictable” and create attraction, but I’m also supposed to be assertive enough to communicate my boundaries.”

“This is too much hassle… I just want to be me, and if a guy doesn’t like it, then tough!”

It’s no surprise that a lot of the women with this attitude (and men) are single and home alone on Friday nights watching Dave Letterman…

And wonder why their relationships just seem to fall apart after a while… over and over.

The truth is, communicating boundaries and creating attraction with a man are NOT mutually exclusive activities.

AND… if you know how, these kinds of situations can become AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES to create attraction and GROWTH between you and a man.

If you know how to communicate with a man in the right way, you can get the response that you want (attraction) AND communicate a clear message.

Which in your case might be for him to respect your boundaries by calling if he says he’s going to call.

But if you don’t get the subtle specifics of how to communicate with a man this way, then often times you’ll come off as pushy or “bitchy” like lots of other women do when they try to assert boundaries early on with men.

Try saying something like this in a semi-serious way but with a smirk on your face…

“You know, I might just decide to give you my number, but I’m not sure if you’re the right kind of guy yet – because I’m VERY PICKY and I only give my number out to guys that A) have their act together and B) are smart enough to know what they’re missing if they don’t call.”

And then write down your number and hold it out for him to grab.

But when he reaches for it, pull it away from his hand a little bit so he misses it…

Then keep teasing him and ask him again with a wry smile on your face…

“Well, do you have your act together? Because I really don’t have time for boys who don’t call…”

This kind of thing will drive a man CRAZY and triggers a deep level attraction response – that’s not just a “physical” thing.

I’ve shared some specifics about early interactions with men and creating ATTRACTION.

But, if you want to learn the actual “psychology” behind what creates attraction with men, how a man’s mind works on an emotional level, and how to create a LASTING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with a man that will have him lead you both into a great situation together, then this email is just the tip of the iceberg with some starter material.

To get started, check out my ebook, “ Catch Him & Keep Him“. This book is THE GUIDE to understanding men and how attraction works while dating and in relationships.

It’s here:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

This book is packed with the easily-avoided dating and relationship mistakes that most women make… and it’s full of specific ideas and “How-To’s” to help you instantly become closer with a man.

Don’t live the predictable situation of your man withdrawing from you and acting irritated or frustrated just because you need to talk to him about something that’s important to you.

Chapters 5 and 6 of my ebook are all about “bridging the emotional differences” between men and women when you’re communicating with a man.

Understanding what emotional differences between men are and how to deal with them is critical to creating a deep connection with a man.

Chapter 7 is all about CREATING ATTRACTION.

If you’re going to get into and past the “honeymoon phase”, then there needs to be a whole lot more going on than just a physical attraction.

You’ll find out how to create the kind of attraction is that’s deeper and more lasting than the physical.

Chapter 9 of my ebook is all about the communication secrets to developing and growing lasting relationships.

So, don’t wait…

Don’t wait any longer to live the love life that’s possible.

Start turning what used to be frustrating situations with men into opportunities to create a close, loving relationship that works for both of you… and LASTS!

Go here, download your free trial copy of my ebook in just a few minutes, and you’ll be on your way to a whole new world of connection, attraction and communication with men.

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

And, if you’re ready to take your interactions with a man to the level where he’s experiencing the kind of ongoing, lasting attraction that has HIM working to become closer and more committed with YOU… then it’s time you checked out my Natural & Lasting Attraction program.

All the details on this program, some sample video clips, and a special offer to try this program out free for an entire month are all here:

Natural and Lasting Attraction

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. My “Natural And Lasting Attraction” CD/DVD program is packed with in-depth psychological, emotional and behavioral insights about what men naturally respond to in dating and relationships. without a bunch of tiresome “psycho-babble.”

I want to help you learn exactly what goes on inside a man’s mind, how attraction works for him, and how to turn that initial connection into a lifelong commitment.

Click on this link right now and get some more free tips and watch the sample video from the “Natural And Lasting Attraction” program down at the bottom of the page:

Natural and Lasting Attraction